To move straight to ivf

Facingfears · 2025-05-21T17:48:41+00:00

I’m nearly 36 and have now been ttc #3 for 9 cycles and no luck. great amh and normal hormonal profile and no structural abnormalities. i suspect my luteal phase is an issue and my husband’s morphology (prior to the dcs he has low morphology) but my suspicion with the sperm hasn’t been confirmed although he’s taking the right supplements to support that. but my question is should we just move to ivf and icsi.we have a policy that covers up to 15k, should we jump the gun and get the ball rolling now due to our age?

CRbear · 21/05/2025 18:50

I wouldn’t put myself through that when I already have 2 healthy children at all. But say you want to - you know you can have kids so I’d be giving it more time than 9 cycles. Atleast 12. And probably more. Best of luck

FrogetAboutIt · 21/05/2025 18:52

IVF doesn't guarantee you a baby.

Maybe go for some fertility tests if you suspect an issue and go from there.

Pleatherandlace · 21/05/2025 18:54

9 months is really not that long and 35 is really not that old especially as you already know you can have children.

Original poster

Facingfears · 21/05/2025 18:54

FrogetAboutIt · 21/05/2025 18:52

IVF doesn't guarantee you a baby.

Maybe go for some fertility tests if you suspect an issue and go from there.

So I’ve had them for me it’s just the semen analysis for hubs but realistically there’s not a lot you can do for sperm except the supplements

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Original poster

Facingfears · 21/05/2025 18:55

Pleatherandlace · 21/05/2025 18:54

9 months is really not that long and 35 is really not that old especially as you already know you can have children.

I’ll be 36 soon x

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anonymousas · 21/05/2025 18:56

IVF is extremely tough and a lot to put yourself and the relationship through, not to mention physically. It also has no guarantees. I’d try for at least 3 more cycles before even thinking about it tbh

Original poster

Facingfears · 21/05/2025 19:02

anonymousas · 21/05/2025 18:56

IVF is extremely tough and a lot to put yourself and the relationship through, not to mention physically. It also has no guarantees. I’d try for at least 3 more cycles before even thinking about it tbh

No of course it has no guarantees but the clinics we have available care and nurture have about a 30% success rate at my age, so 2 cycles depending on the amount of embryos should make a decent enough shot no?

and we don’t have to pay if it’s less than £15k

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Original poster

Facingfears · 21/05/2025 19:02

My friend had mild cycle which I’d likely have due to my amh and she said it was ok for her, so fingers crossed would be for me too

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FrogetAboutIt · 21/05/2025 19:04

As someone who's been through IVF many times, I really wouldn't go down that path unless you actually need to. At this point, you're not there yet.

Your tests were normal and your suspicions about your husband are unconfirmed. You've also had two successful pregnancies. Those are all positive signs.

I appreciate it's frustrating if you want to be pregnant right now but I would give it more time.

Original poster

Facingfears · 21/05/2025 19:07

FrogetAboutIt · 21/05/2025 19:04

As someone who's been through IVF many times, I really wouldn't go down that path unless you actually need to. At this point, you're not there yet.

Your tests were normal and your suspicions about your husband are unconfirmed. You've also had two successful pregnancies. Those are all positive signs.

I appreciate it's frustrating if you want to be pregnant right now but I would give it more time.

calendar wise it’s coming up On a year though but we took 3 months out due to my having surgery, I’m pretty confident the issue still persists with hubs plus my luteal phase has gone from 13 days to 11/12 but the only treatment I was told for that is ivf x

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JDM625 · 21/05/2025 19:08

TBH, a reputable IVF clinic shouldn't take your money without DH having testing first!

Am I correct you already have children? How old are they? Are they your DH's children?
Of course there are more things that can be done if his morphology or count is low, other than just supplements! Lifestyle changes such as loose underwear, dietary changes, fitness etc can all help. There might be an anatomical issue if he has had children before. IF it turned out his levels were super low, then yes, IVF might be the next step, but without testing, you won't know.

I wouldn't go with a recommendation because your friend had a good result! Speak to a specialist. FWIW- I had a very good AMH, no structural issues, clear tubes, very regular cycles and DH's counts were all normal. After years of TTC and losing several, we then had rounds of IVF. In total we TTC 12yrs and have no children and no reason for sub-fertility.

IVF isn't a guarantee to work- despite the clinics figures. Has he said why he won't get tested?

Original poster

Facingfears · 21/05/2025 19:13

JDM625 · 21/05/2025 19:08

TBH, a reputable IVF clinic shouldn't take your money without DH having testing first!

Am I correct you already have children? How old are they? Are they your DH's children?
Of course there are more things that can be done if his morphology or count is low, other than just supplements! Lifestyle changes such as loose underwear, dietary changes, fitness etc can all help. There might be an anatomical issue if he has had children before. IF it turned out his levels were super low, then yes, IVF might be the next step, but without testing, you won't know.

I wouldn't go with a recommendation because your friend had a good result! Speak to a specialist. FWIW- I had a very good AMH, no structural issues, clear tubes, very regular cycles and DH's counts were all normal. After years of TTC and losing several, we then had rounds of IVF. In total we TTC 12yrs and have no children and no reason for sub-fertility.

IVF isn't a guarantee to work- despite the clinics figures. Has he said why he won't get tested?

Oh no they’d do one but a bit of ptsd from my side was hesistsnt because it was all very doom and gloom before. And I felt really resentful towards him, like he was stopping us from conceiving so it was quiet a dark place in truth.

he’s always done all the good lifestyle things so for us and his sperm we can’t do more than what we are. If that makes sense. He’s had a physical exam no variocele or anything.

my children are 5 and 3

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CozyCoupe · 21/05/2025 19:14

I have a luteal phase of 11/12 days and didn't even know it until I started tracking my cycles after conceiving number 1. Conceived number 1 first time and number 2 and 3 very very easily. I'm aware its anecdotal but a short luteal phase does not necessarily mean there will be an issue. Given you've already conceived twice then I'd probably try for at least another 3-6 months.

Original poster

Facingfears · 21/05/2025 19:15

CozyCoupe · 21/05/2025 19:14

I have a luteal phase of 11/12 days and didn't even know it until I started tracking my cycles after conceiving number 1. Conceived number 1 first time and number 2 and 3 very very easily. I'm aware its anecdotal but a short luteal phase does not necessarily mean there will be an issue. Given you've already conceived twice then I'd probably try for at least another 3-6 months.

My luteal phase used to be 13 days though xx

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Original poster

Facingfears · 21/05/2025 19:19

JDM625 · 21/05/2025 19:08

TBH, a reputable IVF clinic shouldn't take your money without DH having testing first!

Am I correct you already have children? How old are they? Are they your DH's children?
Of course there are more things that can be done if his morphology or count is low, other than just supplements! Lifestyle changes such as loose underwear, dietary changes, fitness etc can all help. There might be an anatomical issue if he has had children before. IF it turned out his levels were super low, then yes, IVF might be the next step, but without testing, you won't know.

I wouldn't go with a recommendation because your friend had a good result! Speak to a specialist. FWIW- I had a very good AMH, no structural issues, clear tubes, very regular cycles and DH's counts were all normal. After years of TTC and losing several, we then had rounds of IVF. In total we TTC 12yrs and have no children and no reason for sub-fertility.

IVF isn't a guarantee to work- despite the clinics figures. Has he said why he won't get tested?

Ps I’m sorry for all you’ve been through that sounds incredibly tough xx

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