To think what is going to happen to all the children that are ND

[Donthaveacowman45]

Teenage daughter is ND, she has autism and ADHD with additional needs. Attends a main school, has support in terms of a TA and is verbal. She is in all the top sets and is doing her GCSEs next year. Overall she is going to be able to live a relatively normal life compared to some people with her conditions.

But what about the children her age or young adults that are not going to live a normal life? There seems to be a lot of parents who post on MN about their kids having additional needs are SEN etc. So is this a case that being ND is increasing or are more people just getting diagnosed? I’m talking about the ones that won’t be able to get jobs, go to uni, drive or live alone for example. Also what will happen to the work force? We need young people to work so they pay tax and into a system that supports pensions, etc. What if a lot of young people can’t work in the future? What will happen?

Many of them didn't manage, though, and with diagnosis and recognition they might have avoided having to learn life skills the hard way.

Alcoholism, drugs, marriages filled with domestic abuse/servitude, living in squalid social housing with worsening mental health issues, being bullied at work/in the community, social ostracism, being exploited by a sibling or relative they relied on for support, etc.

Susan Boyle might have muddled through OK, but with an early diagnosis she could have avoided so much persecution/bullying in her local community and being taken advantage of by her siblings (who used her as a free carer for her ill/dying mother). She could have been successful and happier in life with support, instead of being limited to living with her mother into old age and unable to pursue relationships/friendships she desperately wanted.

Spend some time on WrongPlanet.com and have a look for yourself. There are many miserable, isolated, broken ND people out there. 83% of autistics consider suicide or have reoccurring suicidal thoughts, and around 40-60% will make at least one attempt (according to UK charity Autistica). The rates are similarly high for ADHD.

Compare that to the rates in the general population and it's a frightening reality - life is harder for ND people, even those patronisingly dismissed as 'high functioning'. Of course those with high support needs must be prioritised, but th suicide rates (especially among ND women and girls) are HORRIFYING. ND adults make up around 40% of psychiatric admissions.

All ND people are inherently vulnerable in one or two areas, even if successful. Temple Grandin, the most famous autistic person in America, is in her 60s now and has said she still relies on her elderly mother in many ways, though she has managed to hold down a fascinating engineering career and done a lot of autism related advocacy too.

We really can't ignore this or dismiss it with talk of building resilience. You can do that while also acknowledging there will always be a need for community support. The English are very bad at creating villages for each other, compared to African communities or European ones where children often live at home until marriage instead of being flung out at 18 and left to sink or swim. Neurodivergent children benefit from having structured support for longer than NTs. That's not mollycoddling, that's neurological reality.

I’m currently doing some training through my work to have young people with learning difficulties in to spend time with us so they can see opportunities (nhs) we are also learning about how we can support colleagues who need adjustments. We’ll also be supporting them with job applications and confidence.
its been a huge eye opener and I’ve learnt so much I can implement at work. If more organisations take this on itll make it easier for young people like your dc

I do think part of it is just that there is much more awareness now and so more and more children are being diagnosed, children who even 10 years ago would have just been the “naughty” kids or the “strange” “sensitive” kids. I’m in my 20’s so my primary school years really aren’t that long ago, but even then I know of 2 boys and 2 girls who were in my year all through school who have only recently in their 20’s been diagnosed. Knowing what we know now and looking back it was really very obvious then that they had additional needs but it just wasn’t something that was really considered or referred then. In contrast one of my best friends teaches year 2 and a third of that year group either have a diagnosis or have been referred for assessment. There is definitely more awareness now and that does lead to more referrals, the young lad who can’t sit still, can’t concentrate and won’t stop fiddling in class would have just been a naughty boy when I was in school, now they would be assessed for ADHD.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing though, once you can identify your needs you can try to get the support to have those needs met (although there isn’t a bottomless pit of money so there is definitely issues with support just not being there on as wide a scale as is needed). The correct support right from the beginning can make a really big difference long term though, a non verbal 6 year old who struggles socially and in school does not automatically mean a non verbal 30 year old who cannot work at all as an adult.

Ds is autistic diagnosed age 4. Also my older sister has learning difficulties with autism. When she was 4 and still wasn’t speaking the dr diagnosed her with “global development delay” only now do we realise she is also clearly autistic.
I am 100% sure I am autistic too. I struggled in secondary school, was in the bottom sets, messed about a bit, skived off. Looking back I just couldn’t cope with it all. It was easier being at home pretending to be sick.
I started getting bullied in year 10, all my friends turned on me because one girl told them too, I refused to go back to school. The schools option was to send me to one of those units where the ‘naughty’ kids went, rather than to challenge the bullying. Because I missed so much school I could only take 2 of my GCSEs. This was only 2004-2005! Things have come such a long way since.

I don’t know what will happen but I do believe cases are increasing, not just diagnosed more. I wish that there was more focus and research put into understanding if that is the case, and why.

my son has ASD and ADHD and I worry ALOT about these questions. Makes my heart ache and my head hurt. He’s in the midst of GCSEs, not sure how he will do. Wants to learn to drive, not sure if that will be possible. I doubt he will ever live independently and worry so much how he’d manage without me when I’m not around. Horrible worries to have.

I desperately hope that I am wrong and he’ll be absolutely fine

On Chris Packham’s documentary “Inside the ADHD Mind”, an expert said the incidence is really about 6%, but diagnosis rates have been about 1 - 2%. What we are seeing now is a catch up!

@deusexmacintoshi work in adult social care and shared lives isn’t very popular. Few older people or homeowners are open to having someone with Down’s syndrome, for example, live in their house. It’s really such a rare occurrence that it would work for both.

I work for Shared Lives and this isn't my experience at all! I currently support a number of individuals with Down's Syndrome both for respite breaks and in long term settings with carers.

Also Shared Lives is a hugely popular scheme and where I work we've a number of individuals who were on a supported accommodation path now coming to us.

Our only barrier is getting more carers, otherwise we could grow and grow.

I work for an organization that provides supported living for some of these children who have become adults ( severe cases), they get housed and cared for, state funded.

These are adults who are severe cases and cannot live independently or work.

Sorry, I didn’t have my glasses on and mis read the question.