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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holidays end bad

34 replies

Candymac · 21/05/2025 17:11

Hi
I'm just home from a wonderful mini break with husband and kids. Me and Husband are not on great terms last few years but staying together because of kids
Last eve of holidays, I was explaining why we didn't all have to do what he wanted every day, that it was OK for us to not want to see all the churches and museums but we didn't mind if he did.
He paused and looked at me and said, you're only a c@%t, and a bitch
Right in front of my 3 teens.i left and walked home on my own
He doesn't do this frequently but I've certainly heard it before and I think it's because he's hurting, he knows I don't want him anymore
AIBU to be disgusted at this behaviour particularly in front of my kids?
Haven't spoken to him since and he ruined what was a fantastic holiday

OP posts:
grumpygrape · 21/05/2025 21:45

Pamspeople · 21/05/2025 20:46

Don't use your kids as an excuse to stay in a shitty but familiar relationship, OP. And never tell them that's the reason you stayed, it's so unfair to make kids feel responsible for your adult choices.

This, again, and again, and again.

Original poster
Candymac · 21/05/2025 21:50

Quitelikeit · 21/05/2025 21:04

what he said was not on at all

however, your comment was quite undermining and patronising don’t you think?

how do you know the kids didn’t want to go? Why tell him to go and spend time alone exploring when that’s what holidays are for? why shouldn’t they go and explore the culture? my kids wouldn’t exactly volunteer either but I don’t pay to travel to new cities so they can sit in their ass either!

Me and the kids had already chatted about this, it wasn't just me.....

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 21/05/2025 21:57

even so why do you get to decide though?

why imply that he had controlled the whole holiday

he might be getting a hard time on here but kindly you need to look in the mirror and the role you played in that scenario

he was abusive, you were undermining there is fault on both parts

Original poster
Candymac · 21/05/2025 23:13

So an excuse to be called those names???

OP posts:
IDontThinkSoSunshine · 21/05/2025 23:28

Do NOT stay together 'for the kids'.

Whether they say it or not. Or whether they say the opposite. I can tell you now, they don't want u to stay together for them or anyone.

CagneyNYPD1 · 21/05/2025 23:32

You don’t need an excuse to leave him. The marriage sounds awful. You know you don’t love him. He knows it too hence the lashing out.

You don’t need to know the ins and outs of what the future might hold. Just tell him that it is time to make plans to separate.

Miyagi99 · 22/05/2025 16:47

I’ve put you’re unreasonable because you haven’t left him, you should leave him for the kids not stay together. I know so many young adults that wish their parents had just split up.

OneNewLeader · 14/06/2025 17:39

Because modelling dysfunctional relationships is so useful for children. Splitting is hard, but staying together and putting kids through the daily grind of passive aggressive or aggressive interactions is no way to live. For any of you.

sheknowsitstoolate · 14/06/2025 17:59

Ffs just leave! The kids don’t need you together.

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