Hi,
I just wanted to ask if anyone’s been in a similar situation and has any advice.
I work in a healthcare role - not a GP, but similar - where we see a mix of routine and emergency patients and refer to hospital etc. I’m recently qualified and genuinely love the job. I care deeply about doing right by every patient, and I’m fascinated by the field (spend my time researching it, I’m a total nerd! haha). It’s been a tough few years, so qualifying was the best day of my life. I always try to think of my own experience in appointments where I’ve felt I was listened to and other times I wasn’t and I try to make sure I do right by every patient.
The issue isn’t the job itself, but how I’m feeling in comparison to my colleagues. I’m one of the newer and younger members of the team, so I’m not as fast or efficient yet. I’m paid less to reflect this, and I know that experience takes time, but it’s still so disheartening. Our work involves both medical care and some sales elements, and I’m trying my absolute best but still not good enough at anything
Other colleagues are more experienced by several years and they seem to fly through appointments, while I usually take the full allocated time. I’m not slow per se, but I do take longer when cases are very complex. Meanwhile, the others somehow manage to keep pace regardless. I often finish the day having seen slightly fewer patients than everyone else, and they make comments about it eg ‘oh yet again you’ve seen less people than us? just had a day chilling out, eh?’ It’s said in a jokingly way but they’re absolutely serious too. They’ll even refuse to see the last patient and go home earlier, saying they’ve “worked harder” than me, so I get left to do it.
Management have never raised concerns -in fact, when I asked for feedback, my manager said I’m doing great and just need more experience. Still, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not good enough compared to the others. I just feel crap and deflated, and I’ve been coming home in tears at times. My actual clinical knowledge and skillset is good and I go home everyday knowing my work is high quality but I’m just not as quick as everyone else and I don’t make as many sales
Managers do understand some appointments will take longer especially if complex but realistically they want us to be as quick as we can so they can fit in more people, there’s ALWAYS people wanting on-the-days and more people = more money
I absolutely will NOT compromise my clinical practice or act in a way I don’t deem to be the best way for the patient, and my managers are generally great and they’ve never asked or expected me to. When I joined the list to do this job I agreed to do it properly and I absolutely will NOT consider cutting corners or rushing
There’s always rumours about people cutting corners and rapidly going through appointments too quickly (we’re warned in uni about people getting struck off for it) and I absolutely am NOT accusing anyone at my work of that. I have no reason to believe thats happening. And realistically some appointments don’t require the full allocated time. But sometimes I wonder how on earth they can speed through all their appointments so quickly, they’re not cutting corners they’re just better than me.
But I don’t know how to get better other than practice and get more experience, and I’m trying so so hard but they’re constantly making digs at me. I love the job but feel increasingly shit at it and like I’m a burden to everyone else and that they’d be better off if I just quit. But I love the job and don’t want to do that.
i was thinking of putting together all the anonymised nice feedback from patients ive had and putting it in a book and then that way I can sort of read it whenever I feel a bit down but then I mentioned it to someone at work (I didn’t tell them about feeling down, I just said it would be a cool thing to have all the feedback together) and they were like why do you care so much? Do you only do this job to read good reviews about yourself? Then it got me thinking if my motives were just selfish?
But yeah thank you if you’ve made it this far, just wondered has anyone else been in this position and have any advice? Its like my mind is completely confused about if my colleagues are being ridiculous or if I’m just being lazy and shit at my job because ultimately they’re right that I’m taking longer than them and they are seeing more people than me, and if I am just shit I have no idea how to get better because I’m trying my best already. I regularly work over my lunch and stay late and I’m trying my best to not be a burden
but yeah if anyone has any advice or experience or wisdom I’d be really grateful to hear it. Thanks x