I have no idea what I have done to upset colleague , what would you do ?

[Motheroffive999]

I work in an office of 5 others.
One colleague I have helped outside of work will no longer speak to me / won't even say hello , she is now over friendly with the other staff, when she wasn't previously.
Boss said they hadn't noticed but would intervene if I need them to.
It's just very uncomfortable to be in that environment.
Shall I just ignore them ? I have asked them if I have done anything to upset them and they said no.
Is this normal behaviour ? I have never experienced this before , please help.

I would be professional and interact with them as required and carry on as though they weren't pulling this shit.

If you’ve asked them, and they won’t say, then I’d probably ask them again outright what their problem is. If they still chose not to say/clear the air I’d just crack on and ignore them.

when I say ignore them, I mean interact as needed as pp says, just not lose any sleep over it.

It would be best if boss spoke to them saying he/she had noticed it (rather than saying you complained) and didn’t like an atmosphere like that in the office.

I’ve had the same thing! I ignored/didn’t acknowledge it. Just carried on talking to them if/when I needed to. It lasted over a year then they gave up when they realised I didn’t give a shit. Sometimes people are just dicks….doesnt mean you’ve done anything wrong.

I’d just ask directly what their problem is.

I agree that behaving as if you don't care or haven't noticed is the way forward. Be very professional and civil when you have to interact but never make any overtures of friendship. If they are trying to manipulate you, they'll give up. If you inadvertently upset them, they'll get over it. If they hate you for some inexplicable reason of their own, there's nothing you can do except be professionally civil and keep interaction to absolute minimum.

I had this with a colleague in my last job. If I ever asked her why she would roll her eyes and say “not this again” as if I routinely went weird in the head, rather than acknowledging that she was again ignoring me. I’d try and think what it could be. Turns out she hated a previous colleague that she bullied out of the job and considered me to have been her friend so she was an utter arse to me for no other reason that I was civil to a former colleague. Bottom line, she made my life a misery for 2 years and then I left. I understand she forced at least 4 other people out. I am so glad I left and feel sorry for her.

I wouldn’t ask her again. Then you’re playing her game. I would be civil, have as little to do with her as possible. But I would also keep notes and inform boss it’s happening.

Worked with so many people like this. I would ask for a sit down and put in writing what’s going on. If it’s allows to continue it’ll get worse

A colleague (who admittedly had previous form for similar with others) suddenly refused to speak to the other 3 of us (2 women,1 man) who shared an office with her. We tried to talk to her, we scratched our heads as to what we (collectively) could have done and came up with zilch, no overheard bitching or anything like that possible and we really did soul search. It was like we didn't exist. Eventually we just got on as normal with each other, we offered her coffees although she was very pointedly making her own and if anyone was doing a sandwich run she was asked, even if the reply was a deafening silence. It was probably fortunate that all 4 of us were longserving people and fairly robust.

6 months in she greeted us one morning and it was as if nothing had ever happened, asking about our weekends, laughing and chatting away. It was all very odd. We did wonder if we were actually in Dallas and she'd woken up in the shower but probably not.

ETA, Sorry OP, your situation is more difficult as directed only at you. Keep your manager apprised and best wishes.

Fuck them. Interact about work as normal and just ignore the other shit.

I’ve done this with one colleague in the past and you could tell it wound them up no end that I wouldn’t react.

was fun to watch.

My motto is if they don’t tell you, it’s not your problem. Who knows what goes on in peoples heads. I’d ask to sit down with colleague and your manager and make it clear it’s unacceptable professionally, and personally just accept she’s a bell end.

There's a reason the saying "nowt so queen as folk" exists.

If u ask yourself truthfully and u know for sure u haven’t upset her or done anything at all I would ignore her !
some people love drama x

She’s having a little power trip over you. Best you can do is be distant but polite and get on with your life.

Thank you I have just spoken to my boss and she agrees it would be best if she had a word.

That's good. You don't deserve that treatment. It's always worse when you've done somebody a favour as well. Hope it gets sorted, or at least makes her think twice about her ignorance.

I really can’t stand this kind of manipulation - please don’t fuel it by giving it the attention she is clearly hoping for.

It’s fucked up behaviour intended to control and exert power.

Some people are drama llamas and thrive off the attention this gets them. You wondering and asking her again what’s wrong just gives her power.

She’s had the chance to sort things out like an adult and a professional; she chose not to. This shows that she is a childish and unreasonable person, so don’t waste one more moment thinking about it.

Chalk it up to her having a silly 13-year-old mentality, inwardly roll your eyes and crack on with your job.

FFS. How old is this person? It's playground stuff. Go on with your day as usual and ignore.