Colleague at work rolling her eyes when I talk at meetings

[coffeegirl73]

So I know this woman doesn’t like me - I haven’t a clue what I’ve ever done to her or why but it’s obvious. From ignoring all my teams messages yet pointedly commenting and loving everyone else’s. Anyway at the team meeting this morning I raised an issue and before I had even finished the first sentence she was trying to interrupt me and when I kept talking started huffing and rolling her eyes at me. Basically it turned out that she had some information which explained the issue - but she hadn’t told me I’m not sure if she’d told the others . I just ignored it but what would you have done. It’s really bugging me. She is so rude to me!

Eye rolling is a form of contempt - she is openly showing you contempt in front of other people.

I would speak to my line manager and ask for her to be spoken to and warned. If you haven't done anything obvious, it is completely unacceptable to roll your eyes at a work meeting. Nip this one in the bud - then watch yourself after that. No fawning, avoid where possible but be utterly professional if you need to have contact. Let it all sink in for her. she cannot do that to you, the end.

‘Oh, is everything ok Carol, did you want to say something?’

I would just stop and do that every time so she knows and everyone’s attention is drawn to her rudeness.

Yeh I think my manager will just gas light me and say she didn’t notice anything. Maybe if it happens again I’ll say something at the time. I don’t know. It’s made me feel crap all day

"Excuse me, I'm still talking." if she interrupts you. "Is there a reason you are rolling your eyes?" if she does that. I would ignore the teams stuff, but being rude in a meeting I would comment on politely. Keep your tone as neutral as possible, but don't let her get away with that shit. Make it visible to others as she is being really unprofessional.

This is the best way to deal with it. Call it out every time

Address it when it happens in future as others said. If you want to raise it with your manager do it in writing so that you have documented evidence of the reply.

This. Every. Single.Time. How rude of her 😔

You can’t just let these things slide you have to mention it at the time, we can’t make colleagues like us but we can make them be respectful.

I've had this before with a useless manager and someone on the team who was constantly trying to undermine me. How close are you with the rest of the team? I was able to build strong relationships with other team members such that I was able to tell one or two of them what was going on and they could back me up. Was nice to see the rest of the team slowly start to give her the cold shoulder as they realised what a dick she was.

I’d ignore and remain professional and unflappable. Try to be as unruffled by the rudeness as possible, don’t react but be courteous and do everything yourself by the book. If she’s rude and disrespectful it will get noticed by others; don’t be drawn in to her behaviour. You inevitably find these types of colleagues behave that way with others too and it’s about them not you.

Doesn't seem to be working so far. I'd be calling her out on it every time and ask what her problem was.

Call it out as it happens Is there a reason you are interrupting? or Sorry to pause the meeting everyone but.. Is everything okay Sarah, I’ve noticed your rolling your eyes, do you have something you’d like to share. __

Thanks all I did say “oh - well I didn’t know that” but neither of the managers stepped in and said anything. She does it on purpose - keeps me in the dark about stuff. No the team are pretty disengaged and quite separate. I haven’t made close enough friends with anyone to risk saying something about her. Actually today nobody said anything except me. Maybe I should just say nothing too and address things privately with my manager. They must all be doing that I think.

I think you have to address it when it happens. If she does it again it needs nipping in the bud.

I see this a little differently!

Could you have asked about the issue in the group email? Did it have to be a public statement?
I have a colleague who can’t wipe her arse without ‘flagging’ it at a meeting. It’s so try hard/ main character and yes eyes do roll.

Doesn't seem to be working so far. I'd be calling her out on it every time and ask what her problem was.

This risks looking to a manager like the OP is being drawn into a tit for tat “she doesn’t like me” dispute with a coworker, and it gives the irritating coworker a chance to start insinuating to others that OP isn’t very competent.

In things like this at work, the best route is to remain calm and professional, and refuse to let others’ behaviour ruffle your feathers. Mentally, it’s best to take a step back from the situation and reflect that this is just a work environment, and a waste of time allowing oneself to get worked up about others’ behaviour.

Obviously, if the coworker starts doing something that needs taking to a manager, then OP should do it. But here it sounds like rising above it is better for the moment.

I was always one of those people that wouldn’t say anything and just ignore, but something has happened recently and I did stand up for myself. It has made such a difference and I feel more in control of the situation. I’d say you do the same. Call her out on it as a pp said above. Have some choice sentences

Did you have something to say Susan?

I wasn’t aware of that, do you think in future you could share with the team. (if she says she has already done, just say you didn’t receive it and could she check her emails

I don’t think I flag a lot of things in meetings but am questioning myself now! Maybe I’m too open. Like the managers told us about a new task that we are going to be doing. They asked did anyone need help and I said I had never done it before so it was “flagged” that a manager will sit down with me . But I know for a fact that nobody else has ever done this task before so will they just ask privately. I felt like an idiot then who didn’t know something I should have but I was just honest

"Is there a problem with your eyes? Just that I've noticed you roll them a lot." Faux concern.

I would start keeping a diary of her behaviour, eye rolling, ignoring your messages, ignoring emails etc Collect the evidence for example screenshots.

Contact ACAS and check your employment handbook on procedure regarding bullying.

If she eye rolls - stop what you are saying and call her out.

Er, excuse me Cunty, any reason why you are eye rolling? If you arent interested in this meeting, you're under no obligation to stay.

Something like that.

And if that doesnt change things, then grievance - if nothing else, it will make your wet lettuce manager do something about it.

Ugh! You sound childish and petty rather than professional.

People have different ways of working and you need to find ways to work with them instead of thinking you’re so bloody superior. I can guarantee that having that attitude won’t help you in the long term.

This is what I am doing after a similar situation today

I have had the same at my office today , I am now writing a diary and looking at our policies with HR

If she had something to say and you think everyone else already knew, I’d have said ‘Well, it would have helped had you raised that before now’ or ‘I’m not sure rolling your eyes is very helpful, Jill’. Can’t stand these immature people who like to get one over you or roll their eyes at you, it’s such a pathetic powerplay.