Feeling in such a dilemma and don't know what to do.
I separated from my exDH around 18 months ago. He moved out into rented accommodation and I have stayed in the family home. I have the dc during the week and he has them one evening after school then every other weekend.
The house was bought as a renovation project. For many reasons, mainly because my ex just didn't want to get on with it or spend any money, not much has been done. Every room needs repainting, the carpets need replacing, there is damp in some rooms. My ex was a hoarder and I am still periodically going through piles of his stuff and junk that has been around for 20 years. The garden is huge and overgrown. Some fence panels need replacing. You get the idea....!
The plan was that I stay here for another 4 to 5 years while our youngest dc finishes school. Then I will move and my ex and I will split the equity and each buy somewhere. He and I currently still share finances, it's just easier for various reasons, but I guess we will completely separate finances once the house is sold.
I honestly wish I could move from this house, but the reason I am still here is because the kids love it, its been their home for 12 years. One of my dc is autistic and struggles with change - the separation has already hit him hard so moving now would also be hard for him. The other reason is that even though this house is in such a state of disrepair, its actually a lovely house. With my share of the equity, I would only be able to afford something very small, in a not very nice area. I don't mind for myself, but I want the kids to have a nice house for the next few years if we can.
I'm working, and spending most of my free time decluttering, trying to paint rooms etc, but it takes so long. I'm starting to feel quite depressed as it always feels like a weight hanging over me. We have a small budget that will stretch to getting new carpets, but that's about it. I just don't know if I want to have to put all this energy into renovating this house, only to then have to move in 4/5 years, but then the alternative is not good either.
What would you do? Just accept the situation and try not to let it get on top of you, or move to a less nice house in a less nice area?!