To ask if anyone’s ever had a manager who was clearly threatened by them?

[SharpMintBeaker]

I’ve been in roles where I’ve worked hard, taken initiative, and delivered good results - only to notice my manager becoming cold, defensive, or even sabotaging. It’s like they don’t know how to handle someone capable who wasn’t just there to flatter or defer to them.

I’m not saying I’m perfect but I’ve definitely felt the shift - like they saw me as competition instead of a team member. Has anyone else experienced this? And if so, how did you handle it?

Is it that some managers just can’t deal with confident, competent staff?

LOL

Yes. They were truly tyrannical. I waited them out and they finall left. I applied for their job and got it..

I have.

I didn’t want their job when it was advertised. They obviously did because they applied for it, were successful at interview and accepted the post.

I had much more clinical experience than them which seemed to be a source of irritation for them and rather than using this as a strength for the team as a whole they started to micromanage every minute of my working week which I found tough to handle, particularly as I was the only one being treated in that way.

I found another job.

Yes, she was vile. I left in the end and have a job where my skills are recognised without the sabotage / undermining / defensiveness. Small organisation so couldn’t move. She was pally with the big boss so nothing was ever going to be done about her behaviour.

Learn when/how to shine your light carefully, OP. Same as with any other person who’s threatened by success. Get your job done well and seek feedback from others outside your team (if you can) when it comes to appraisals etc. Look for some nourishing work relationships to stop yourself going mad. Seek opportunities for learning/progressing skills outside of your team.

Yes - he got the job we both went for as it was 'his turn' and then spent 2 years using all my ideas, making snide comments, putting me down, saying he was up all night worrying about things I was doing ...but never being worried enough to actually take some of them on himself etc etc. Then he went off sick for a year, during which time I 'acted up' for no pay, and then I finally got the job I'd been doing anyway.

If it keeps happening it's probably you.

Yes and I have seen it before too. Never ends well. Leave before it gets bad because in my experience it always does.

If this is happening to you repeatedly then you need to think about your office politics skills.

Snap

I have. He liked to sabotage projects and put pressure on strong middle managers till they broke. I changed department and thankfully now work for normal people. I figured he was just jealous of people with better managerial and communication skills.

So your assuming they think this you don't actually know what they are thinking

Yep. Happening to me now.

But I used to outrank them (not in our company, but in the industry) and took the decision to step down for caring and MH reasons. So maybe that is why they are threatened. I have made it clear that I would never go back into management, and I treat them as they should be treated as a manager. I do as they direct. But somehow it is still wrong.

So I go to work, do my job and then leave. Their insecurity is not my problem.

I've only ever had one truly terrible manager in the way you describe. If it keeps on happening, it may be a you problem.

I was careful to not accidentally outshine them when the big boss was around and to still treat them like i valued their experience and guidance. This particular boss wasn’t incompetent, just lazy. They gradually began to relax around me when they knew i wasn’t going to make them look bad. Having said that I wasn’t interested in their job or getting promoted.

I had a Saturday job in retail when I was 16-18. The assistant manager was in her 20s and clearly out of her depth when left in charge. She would assert her "power" in lots of tiny, petty ways over the staff, fussing about things that weren't a problem, changing rotas, rewriting the flip chart message board in the staff room in a different colour just to show she was in charge .I always wanted to correct the spelling and grammar! For me it was a part time student job and I could happily ignore it and moved on but for people that worked there FT she was a nightmare.

My last 3 managers have fallen into this category.

most recent was a piece of work - sabotage, smear campaign etc. I’ve left now - it worked out really well for me and everyone who believes her is now discovering hey guess what - it wasn’t me that was the problem! I’d already had a lot of success and accolade by the time she joined and higher ups had wanted me to have her job (I didn’t want it though). She decided it was vital to bring me down. I know she’d done it before and she will do it again.

the one before (same workplace, same team) was scared of everything, the feeling threatened manifested as leaving me alone entirely and not supporting me in any way at all. To be fair she didn’t stand in my way at all or attack me though.

the third mercilessly stole all my ideas. He got much better at his job during the time he managed me - and then much worse again when I left!

My previous managers were all lovely and supportive though, as is my current one.

Yes, I’m in this position now. It’s difficult to know what to do, the choices seem to be do an adequate job that isn’t making the most of my skills and my team’s abilities, and just plod along and not threaten her, or to try and develop but manage her insecurity, which is tiring. She’s not an entirely bad manager, but she’s not strategic enough for her role which is head of department, and so she doesn’t link our team in with things that she needs to, and she’s very much a manager not a leader, but there’s also a dearth of strategic leadership above her as well, so no one else really to go to.

I try to deal with things diplomatically but sometimes she’s just factually wrong but insistent, if it’s not important I let it go, but sometimes it is important. She does things like deals with inconsequential stuff first rather than prioritising things that are time-bound, e.g. waiting until 5pm on a Friday when I’m going off on leave to give me comments on a report when we’ve already discussed the timing, I don’t know whether she’s being passive aggressive or just incompetent. She doesn’t come into the office much either, which doesn’t help, and doesn’t respond on email or teams.

I don’t really know how to deal with it other than trying to keep my head down as much as possible, but sympathies!