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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is a bad decision?

3 replies

WrongCall · 20/05/2025 19:43

My DB is currently in a MH facility having been sectioned in August. He has had quite a tricky life involving time in care, prison, homelessness and issues with drug addiction. For many years prior to being sectioned he was left to fly under the radar for help from services and when help was offered it was only temporary, which didn't help. Since August DB has improved significantly, has been clean from drugs the whole time, is managing his money appropriately, putting on weight and is the healthiest I have ever seen him. The unit he is at isn't local, which I think has been a huge help in his recovery as it has took away temptation and issues from people who would drag him down. He is allowed 6 hours a week in the community and has made sure this has remained away from our local area.

The issue is the facility staff are starting to look at a pathway for discharge and are looking a hostel type accommodation not in our home town but local enough that has connections to people that are likely to unravel everything he has worked towards these past few months. Myself and "D"M has expressed concerns that this is only going to push him back to square one and whilst we agree discharge is a good step, we would prefer him to not to be thrown back into our local community. There are dealers he likely still owes money to, he knows exactly where to go if in a crisis and wanting a fix, etc. Its like they are throwing him back to the wolves without thinking about the bigger picture. DB has also agreed with these worries.

The staff aren't listening to our concerns and are taking him to visit the accommodations later this week. AIBU here? Is there anything we can do to try and help them see how damaging to his recovery this would be?

OP posts:
WrongCall · 20/05/2025 19:57

Sorry for the length of the OP, I didn't want to drip feed anything. I'm just really worried that he has finally been given the chance of support, is engaging really well and is on a very good pathway to recovery that this is going to derail anything. I understand the staff have done their job and he also needs to put that work into practice but it is quite likely his one and only shot at this and surely part of their job is to ensure the next steps are safe for the treatment to be sustainable for everyone.

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 20/05/2025 20:32

Do they think that he is ready to negotiate the 'may come across people from his former life' aspect of recovery?

It is a part of the rehab really, you can't bank on running away from places/people forever (at least not when it's multiple people and a broad area) - I agree that early rehab needs to involve removing a person from these other people/places, certainly and I'd expect the rehab place to be well aware of these risks, so what have they said about it? How do they expect him to handle it?

Itsoneofthose · 20/05/2025 20:37

Ok so, lots of people don’t like submitting formal complaints but sadly you won’t be heard either. Speak to the manager of the team and ask them for their formal complaints procedure. Ask to speak to associate director and director, if still no response you need to say you’re going to complain to the CQC. Trust me you have to go in heavy.

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