To delete most Facebook "friends"

[Picklepie0]

I noticed over a period some Facebook friends have deleted me. At first I was a little bit upset as I couldn't understand why but then noticed we didn't really have any interaction.

Then I realise actually no one really interacts with me. I have always been the one that 'likes' says Happy Birthday etc. No one asks how I am or anything.

Unfortunately I don't really have any friends in the real world any more. I used to be the one asking them if they wanted to meet up and I've given up, it wasn't ever them asking to meet me. I don't know why. I'm not a horrible person. I feel people don't like me, however I can't work out why?

I feel like I should just delete all my Facebook friends, apart from some family that do care. Given there's no real friendship, what's the point? I would delete facebook altogether but there are some groups I enjoy being in and it's the only way to interact with people other than my own family. I had to give up work due to ill health.

I went on a course recently. I hoped I might make a friend. I did get chatting to someone however I had the thought, if they wanted to be friends with me they would ask me for my number or to meet up one day as I am the one who always used to ask. Anyway they didn't so I just left it.

I find it very hard to make friends, maybe I'm just an awkward person? I grieve my old friendships that once was and are no longer.

I'm wondering if there's anyone in the same situation? The older I get it's harder.
I once tried an app called Peanut to make new friends, some people I got chatting to then nothing came out of it.

How old are you OP? I think most people now days are very self involved and absorbed. I don’t have FB anymore but when I did, I was probably one of them people who you talk about and not interact on Facebook. But I would interact with my friends and family outside of social media. Most people I had on there were old school friends, a couple of old boyfriends (don’t know why) and mainly old and current work friends. I had no family on there and didn’t really care about the things people posted, just because they weren’t in my life so why would I care. old friends I would like posts as I would be happy if they were sharing good news. I would delete the people that aren’t in your life if you want and concentrate on the people you do have in your life

Thank you for your response. I am 37. The sad fact is the only people in my life are just my close family. I think I'm happy but it would be nice to have some close friends.

Is there anything local you could get involved with to meet some new people in real life, art class etc. I think a lot of people friend each other on social media out of nosiness rather than true genuine friendship

My ex only 'follows' a few select relatives.
I find it weird because he literally knows nothing about lives of our many mutual 'old friends'. Often expresses surprise and interest when I do tell him the latest updates...

I like to know what is going on in other people's lives. That's why I follow them. I am always surprised if anyone likes my posts, this doesn't matter to me if I get likes.

You can do whatever you like with your FBk friendship circle, but just saying that you could just unfollow most ppl (not delete) and keep to ones you care most about. This is all understandable if you genuinely don't care about the other people's lives and just like to have messenger as an option so that's a reason to keep FBk.

Most my FBk activity is shared hobbies groups, tbf.

You sound like me OP! I've been thinking recently I could probably delete 90% of people on my Facebook as we never speak or see each other anymore. I don't have any female friends in real life and really struggle to make new friends.

I only interact with a small handful of people on Facebook, namely family members who I don’t often get to see due to the distance.
I’d happily delete the rest but I know they’d end up asking why they’ve been deleted & get offended even though I haven’t interacted with them in a good while! So instead I unfollowed a bunch of “friends”.

If you enjoy the groups and limited interaction I'd stick with Facebook, whilst accepting that a Facebook 'friend' isn't the same as a real life one.
There are other ways to make actual friends - maybe see if there's anything you could get involved with locally.

Hi op would you join something my friend joined a walking group last week. I have a few cousins and friends on facebook thats it. Hard make friends at my age 52 find they dont reply or suggest dates. Difficult. I met an old neighbour last wk was nice

Yes I am worried I will offend people, but I also think that they won't even notice!

Yes, perhaps I should have a look to see what's local.
It's such a shame, I used to have so many friends. Everyone separates and off they go on their own ways and you end up drifting apart.

There are people who start threads here about getting the hump because they’ve been unfriended. So I guess yes, you may offend or upset some people.

Just mute them, or don’t bother with Facebook except for your hobby groups.

As for being lonely, I think in a lot of cases you get what you give. Most of the friends I’ve made have been through doing things together. Work, volunteering, community projects, exercise classes, adult education… it all led to knowing new people.

If you are active in your work and community, if you put yourself in situations where you’re cooperating with others, you do develop connections. That can often lead to friendships, even if just casual ones.

Close friends is a big ask - rather ‘nought to 60’ - but from casual friends to good friends is a slow trajectory.

just gone down from 487 "friends" to 83 people I actually know and care about.Very liberating Op.

I use Facebook like this: when a birthday notification comes up for someone I don’t know in real life any more, I unfriend them.

Thats pretty much it. It’s pointless now.

In their defence if you’re not active on FB you will have dropped out of everyone’s algorithm and it’s out of sight out of mind.

People this age don't tend to use FB any more. They may have the account, but they rarely or never log on. If you want to reconnect with old friends, you could ask them for a coffee.

I think if you asked many people they would feel as you do. SM has made us more unsocial. Most FB friends are just just names on a page. You are not alone.

Think people busier now picklepie they dont commit. I took step back as felt I was always chasing up. But its isolating then. Met few nice girls through work.

Social media for me is primarily about nosiness. I have a lot of old online friends on there from a shared interest forum from about 20 years ago and I do genuinely enjoy seeing their updates etc as it’s the only place we really interact. For my close friends and family, Facebook is fairly irrelevant- some of them don’t even use it any more. We keep in touch outside of it.

Removed and edited by mnhq

Seriously OP, just get off social media. Deleted all mine a decade ago (when I realised it only made me feel miserable) and I’ve never looked back. If you need a profile for hobby groups, set up an anonymous one and don’t add anyone.

This is exactly what I ended up doing, I didn't know you could do this at first. I feel so much happier already!

You talk a lot about having to make the first move like it's a bad thing. It's not! We all drift in an out of so many people's lives these days that it's hard for us to settle on the few people who will become true friends. And it takes multiple occasions and interactions for those bonds to form. This also means that there will be lots of friendships that start out promising but drift into nothing. And that's okay. Embrace the new, embrace any old ones that reignite. And enjoy what you do make.