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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

in grounding dd1 today?

5 replies

misdee · 20/05/2008 14:02

yesterday her friend called round for her. dd1 knows where she is allowed to play out the front, which includes out area of the street and two cul-de-sacs at either end.

after 45mins or so i was popping out so went to let dd1 know that i was going but dh was in, in case she came back and saw the car had gone and panicked.

but i couldnt find her. i checked both areas, and came back and asked dh is she had come in and i has missed her. she hadnt. just as i was about to go back and look again i heard her and her friend outside. i asked her where she had been and she said 'round the corner' i said i had checked round there and she wasnt there, she then said she had been round near b+q, which although isnt that far away its out of the boundries agreed and near and industrail area and very busy main road which leads to town. i sent dd1 friend home, and dd1 got sent to her room. she did apologuise when i came back from the shops, and played at hoem for the rest of the afternoon, and then had brownies.

she has asked is she can go out with her friend tonight, i have said no, because i wasnt happy with her behaviour still, and it had been her final warning after leaving dd2 unattended last week when she asked if dd2 could go with her, but then she left her once her friends were there, and also after leaving school grounds once dh had dropped her off to school and seen dd2 into class one day last week. i was told that dd1 had been running around outside the school gates with her friends. she has been told she can play in the playground until the bell goes but not to leave school gronds.

dd1 was sulking when she left for school and thinks i am being unreasonable.

am i giving her too much freedom too soon? what age do you let go? she is 8.

OP posts:
pofaced · 20/05/2008 14:17

I think you are right to ground her to make it quite clear that the boundaries are there for a reason. I don't think it's too much freedom if she's mature/ responsible enoughto stick to agreed boundaries: she has pushed it but maybe grounding her will bring her back in line. However, I think she is too young to be expected to look after a younger child when she goes out to play

NotABanana · 20/05/2008 14:19

I agree with previous poster.

This behaviour could have had serious consequences so I think you are right to carry out another punishment.

misdee · 20/05/2008 14:19

i di think that as well, but she wanted dd2 out there playing with her on her scooter. havent let dd2 out there since though, as wasnt happy about it really myself.

OP posts:
struwellpeter · 20/05/2008 14:19

No, you are not being at all unreasonable. I think each parent should decide with each child how much freedom to give and it really will depend on how much you can trust the child.
Your dd1 sounds as if she is not taking much notice of the boundaries you have set, so ground her. She needs to know that if she goes to play in other places she will not be trusted to go out to play with friends and she will have to stay at home.
I do think that 8 is too young to be responsible for a younger child and your dd1 seems to be showing that she can't be responsible for herself, let alone another one!

misdee · 20/05/2008 14:21

the dd2 incident was before the other two

dd2 actually surprises me as sometimes she acts better than dd1, but dd2 is very rule-orinitated.

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