AIBU to think this is too much pressure for a 10 year old

[Hellothere98989]

My DS plays in a football team, they train twice a week (one weeknight and a Saturday morning) for over an hour each time. Then they always play a match on a Sunday.

Recently I have been getting a bit worried that the pressure seems to be increasing.

For example coach has told them if they are even one minute late for training they will be running extra laps. My DS has missed a few trainings over the last few weeks due to weekend away and celebration for his sister.

He has been told by the coach that he would play better if trained more.

My exh also helps out with the team and he puts pressure on him saying he has missed too many trainings lately.
Ex recently showed my DS a message on the parents Whatsapp group where the coach had said everyone EXCEPT DS was doing a team activity (we couldn't make it as a way). I don't feel like he should be showing him Whatsapp messages.

Not really sure what to do and if I am overreacting

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He needs to feel like he can tell his dad at any time of he's not enjoying it. My son plays and my husband coaches, he also dishes out laps, sit ups etc for not listening, being late and the kids still really enjoy it. We have always made it clear to him though if he's not enjoying it he can stop, there's never pressure from us.

My son played football for years and enjoyed it, he was quite good but this sort of commitment didn't work for him. He needed a day free at the weekend to do other things, like go to the skate park with friends or whatever. He eventually opted to change teams where the vibe was much more relaxed and he enjoyed it so much more. It was in a lower league but he didn't mind that as long as he was happy. There are lots of different teams so it just depends if your son is highly committed or just wants to have some fun. When my son was younger he used to say he wanted to be a professional and get in a top team etc, but as he grew up he realised that wasn't really a lifestyle that suited him.

Both my DSs have played football for years. It does tend to start getting a bit more serious / competitive as they get older. If that doesn't suit your son, he might be better off in a different club (or a lower team I. The same club).

Well, surely then you tell his dad he’s not as interested any more? If his dad can’t deal with it, that’s his issue to manage.

Agree that there are plenty of other sports for children with similar commitments. My daughter is a dancer and they have a rule that if you miss a certain number of classes you can’t be in the show. If someone doesn’t do something properly, everyone does 50 burpees, etc. It’s great for children to commit to something - or indeed decide it’s not for them and move on.

I think this isn’t for your family and you should support him to move on and give his space to someone who will love it.