AIBU to not let my 12 year old go to Alton towers

[GeorgieTK]

With her 13 year old friend alone? No parent there, just dropped off and picked up at the end of the day.
For a bit of context she doesn't do really big rides, she's done wicker man, thirteen amd galactica but gets very scared despite wanting to do them so that's one concern. Another is peer pressure to do the bigger rides when she'd have a panic in the queue. And another just generally is she too young?!

She would love it! Is she grown up enough to handle any difficulties that may arise
if
will she stay with her friend all the time and neither of them wonder off?promise?
it’s a big step for you to let her go but with promises and charged phones in place,she should be good and her confidence will go through the roof.

I don't see the issue, they're being dropped off and picked up but then you are asking on Mumsnet where leaving a 19 year old home alone is frowned upon 😂

I don't think you're being unreasonable to worry, personally I would want a trusted adult in the park for just incase sake. But the peer pressure element I think you're being a bit unreasonable ...in the sense it's natural for friends to dare each other to do the big rides and such. A conversation on knowing limitations and standing up for herself should suffice I guess.

I hope you let her go ...we went with our school and loved it. The fact they (teachers) then banned the school from going again is irrelevant 🤣🤣

I’m the same - absolutely love the rides! My 13 year old son has asked about maybe going with some friends. They’d need a parent to drive them there. It never occurred to me they’d want dropping off, I presumed the adult would go in too (it’s a long way to go to drop them then not go in too). I love the rides so I was very much up for the “responsible parent” role. Am now wondering about sending them off as a group and telling them we’ll check in by phone at lunch time to make sure there’s no issues, and in person at the end of the day. That way I can go ride the rides I know my son wouldn’t fancy doing lol. And maybe he’d be braver with friends than if I’m there.

OP - if I had a daughter I’d feel like you. Would the compromise be that an adult goes too, but the kids can go off together and meet the adult at designated times? Or regular phone calls to ease your mind?

My partner and I were at Alton tours when we saw a group of 7 or 8 peel a young girl off from the friends she was with and try to lead her away ...I intervened by walking up next to her as if she was a fiend I'd lost and led her out to the car park and made sure she was safe
That was over 20 yrs ago

I live half an hour from Alton Towers, so I would be able to nip back and collect them if it went pear-shaped - if you're in a similar situation, I'd say that's ok at that age. But maybe have a chat with both kids about not pressuring one to do what the other wants, and where to get help from adults etc.

I would be absolutely fine with it if there’s an adult close enough to collect relatively quickly in an emergency.
The peer pressure question just seems weird to me …….. she needs to work that out herself. What’s the worst that will happen if she’s encouraged to go on a ride ? She goes on a ride and doesn’t like it? That’s really not a big issue . What would you do if you were there ? Tell her not to go on? It’s not your decision to make

Both my DC have gone with school at this age. PTA run trips so parent volunteers on site but not ‘with’ the kids (I think most of the adults stayed on the coaches with a book!).
Mine had never been before (nor to any other big theme parks) and they were fine. It’s important for them to develop independence. If she’s scared about going then no, I wouldn’t send her but assuming she wants to go, then it’ll be good for her.

If you think she is going to put herself in harms way to please others you have work to do OP

She should be able to say no to a fast ride, other kids won’t pressure her but will she pressure herself?

I'd let her unless social circumstances

DS has been going to Thorpe Park with a friend since he was about 12. They have a great time together and take care of one another. I don’t necessarily think it’s down to the ages of the kids, but more about who they go with. Some of DS’s friends I would be uncomfortable about him being out with unsupervised. Others are kind and considerate and supportive.