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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be on instagram to support this?

15 replies

Loveduppenguin · 19/05/2025 13:12

Just wanna get a little bit of opinion on this. I’m not on Instagram or Facebook or any of that kind of social media because I find it really not good for my mental health. Lots of things that I don’t really want to get into, but ultimately I felt it better if I took myself off.

I have a relative who is up-and-coming on the influencer world and to be honest, I really had no idea about this until today. I was chatting to another relative and they mentioned it. I had no idea what they were talking about and how to clarify. They were a little bit taken back that I didn’t know and that I wasn’t on Instagram to support and promote. Now they never said anything but I could just gauge from their impression that they weren’t too impressed that I had no idea. Is it really awful? Allowed me to have no idea that a relative is doing really well in the influencer world? I really do not want to start up my Instagram again just to show my support in this.

OP posts:
FunJadePlayer · 19/05/2025 13:15

Message or call the relative and can say well done if you want to. No need to use social media if it doesn’t work for you.

Koalafan · 19/05/2025 13:16

I'd be staying well clear.
I deleted IG because it's just full of crap these days, even if you try to only follow decent stuff. I reluctantly use FB, as it's good for local information.

Farkinhell · 19/05/2025 13:16

Even if you did join Instagram to like or comment or share etc on this family members posts it wouldnt help them out a great deal as your account would not be very beneficial as you'd be sharing it to an audience of zero (or close to)

But most importantly you have put a boundary in place with regards to your social media use, they should respect it.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 19/05/2025 13:16

No, this is bonkers.

If you don't want social media, you don't have to have it.

If this person is going to make it as an "influencer" they will do it with or without your help.

Original poster
Loveduppenguin · 19/05/2025 13:18

FunJadePlayer · 19/05/2025 13:15

Message or call the relative and can say well done if you want to. No need to use social media if it doesn’t work for you.

Yes I will do this!! Thank you 🙏

OP posts:
Sassysoonwins · 19/05/2025 13:18

Coming off FB and IG helped my mental health so much I was actually shocked. No way would I ever go back, especially not for such an unimportant reason. Stick to your guns.

Fallenoutthewardrobe · 19/05/2025 13:40

the only social media I use is Mumsnet. As others have said just send a message congratulating them. I wouldn’t be dragged back to social media for this.

Original poster
Loveduppenguin · 19/05/2025 13:48

Fallenoutthewardrobe · 19/05/2025 13:40

the only social media I use is Mumsnet. As others have said just send a message congratulating them. I wouldn’t be dragged back to social media for this.

yes same. Somehow or another I find mumsnet doesn’t drain me as much as visual social media.

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 19/05/2025 14:10

Can't be doing that well if they need the support/promotion. Stay out of it. There's no need to be involved in relative's working lives. Also, Instagram is a load of old shit.

2ndbestslayer · 19/05/2025 14:12

This all sounds very odd. I assume this isn't a relative you are particularly close to if you didn't know about any of this? If so why would you be expected to 'support' them by being on insta? What kind of support could you even offer if you don't really do social media and presumably don't therefore have a big following?

Original poster
Loveduppenguin · 19/05/2025 14:33

2ndbestslayer · 19/05/2025 14:12

This all sounds very odd. I assume this isn't a relative you are particularly close to if you didn't know about any of this? If so why would you be expected to 'support' them by being on insta? What kind of support could you even offer if you don't really do social media and presumably don't therefore have a big following?

Well, we wouldn’t be close that we talk on a weekly basis, but we will see each other at family gatherings and have a catch up and chat about things. I just had no idea about the whole Instagram/influencer aspect as I hadn’t seen her in a while. And I work full-time, so I don’t really get to meet up with people a whole lot.

OP posts:
Original poster
Loveduppenguin · 19/05/2025 14:33

When I use the word Support I mean should I be on social media so that I can be aware of these things and show my enthusiasm I suppose 😅

OP posts:
373849595d · 19/05/2025 14:40

If your relative is already up and coming in the influencer world they've already outperformed hundreds of thousands of social media wannabes and engagement from someone like you, who doesn't regularly use social media, and therefore presumably doesn't have a large online following, will not make the smallest bit of difference. Your other relative is being weird, ignore them. You absolutely do not have to be on social media at the expense of your mental health to show support to someone else.

Yayforyou · 19/05/2025 14:45

Influencers are the death of civilised society. Real life relationships with your relatives and friends are much more meaningful than vacuous connections online. You are right to stay off social media if it doesn’t work for you.

SadieAdlerBountyHunter · 19/05/2025 14:45

I've got a reasonable number of followers on Instagram because of the art I create.

In my experience, it's a surprise to my friends if it comes up in conversation. They know I create art but they have no idea how popular it is. Which is fine - I don't expect everyone I know to be au fait with how many followers I have or what I've posted recently.

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