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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Want to report but scared of repercussions

10 replies

Greenduckegg · 19/05/2025 10:42

NC for this for obvious reasons.

My DM lives alone in the house she has owned for over 20 years. She sadly has had new neighbours move in (council) (4 young DC, 1 primary age and 3 younger). They were trouble immediately. She has heard children crying and loud shouting by the parents from the day they moved in. She observed for a time then reported to social services and the council when she started to feel uncomfortable.

The council and SS did their checks, clearly not concerned and left them to it. They're getting worse and the screaming, shouting and smashing of things happens any time of day when the children are there or not. Mum thinks the shouting and screaming is mainly directed at each other (the parents) but it is virtually all the time.

What the hell should she do? If the neighbours find out she has reported them they will without a doubt make my mum's life worse. They have history for making their neighbours lives hell. The council have told my mum, if she has any audio proof of all of this, they can use it but will have to disclose who provided it!

My mum is concerned but not remotely confrontational and there no way out for her should they get even worse to live next door to. She's already really struggling living next door to them without making it worse.

Has anyone got any expertise in suggesting options for her? She feels that she would seriously have to put her neck on the line for any authorities to pay the slightest interest in what is going on. She wants to do something but is understandably scared of her vile neighbours. She was so happy before they moved in. 🥺

OP posts:
AMillionTomorrows · 19/05/2025 10:46

She can report anonymously to the kid’s school and send them the audio recordings and let them do any further reporting or investigation.

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 19/05/2025 10:47

Horrible situation for your poor mum but I don't think there's much realistically she can do. Social Services aren't interested - the threshold is pretty high for intervention unfortunately. Screaming and swearing and smashing stuff won't result in them getting involved.

I hate to say it but selling up and getting out is probably her best option.

AMillionTomorrows · 19/05/2025 10:47

She can (and should) also call the police there and then if she hears any smashing or sounds of violence.

Greenduckegg · 19/05/2025 10:58

AMillionTomorrows · 19/05/2025 10:46

She can report anonymously to the kid’s school and send them the audio recordings and let them do any further reporting or investigation.

Thank you. She has considered the school. How could she be sure the school wouldn't tell the parents that "they have received audio"? It wouldn't take much for the neighbours to put 1+1 together and figure how who sent it.

OP posts:
Oneearringlost · 19/05/2025 11:58

I'm unclear...has your mother not already reported them to SS? It sounded like it from your OP. Are you asking for advice re: next steps?
Police sounds sensible. Horrible situation.

Tinyrabbit · 19/05/2025 12:02

It would be legit for your mother to phone the police re: the screaming and shouting, if she felt that someone was in danger, particularly the children. The police will attend.

Amba1998 · 19/05/2025 12:07

She should phone the police during the screaming match / while things are being smashed

ginasevern · 19/05/2025 12:17

I can say with almost 100% certainty that the council will do fuck all about it. And even if they did (which they won't) it could take years. It will also be absolutely obvious that your mum is the source. Her only option is to move. However, she will (I believe) now have to disclose nuisance neighbours as she has made an official complaint.

Greenduckegg · 19/05/2025 14:12

Thank you all for your responses. It does feel pretty hopeless, I do feel sorry for her. She's is such a kind, giving person. One of those people the neighbours all come to constantly for favours and advice. She's so lovely and has been landed with the neighbours from hell 🥺

@Oneearringlost apologies. I guess I didn't really know as we feel it's pointless contacting the council or SS again, as ginasevern has pointed out.

We did wonder if the school could do anything but again, how does it remain completely anonymous? They hell enough to live with now, god only knows how awful they could be if they knew mum had reported them.

I guess moving is the only option. She's so gutted, she loves her home and has spent years on it and the garden and gets on with everyone else in the road so well 🥺

OP posts:
Murdoch1949 · 19/05/2025 14:33

Your mum has to be careful about getting into any strife with the neighbour, as if (when) she sells her house she will have to declare this on the form sent to the new buyer.

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