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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think schools should have a class to teach basic life skills

382 replies

beesandstrawberries · 18/05/2025 21:02

We all learned so much in school that we haven’t used in day to day life - I mean when have we ever touched a Bunsen burner since school? But none of us was learned the basics of life and how to navigate it - things like:

  • Showing how to do basic meals, cooking pasta safety, use of kitchen appliances correctly
  • paying bills
  • what a mortgage is, how to deal with contracts and paperwork
  • how to meter readings
  • change a lightbulb, basic tool use in the home
  • how to check fire alarms
  • credit card education
  • managing money, spreadsheets to manage them
  • insurances like life insurance and what ones you need
  • education on abusive relationship signs
  • things like peer pressure
  • how to write formal letters/emails

I think we learn so many things that mean nothing when we leave school. If you teach kids basic life skills from a young age, it would make kids a lot more well rounded and less anxious in the ‘real world’ when it comes to managing money and not getting in debt. Even learning things like the warning signs of abusive relationships to young and impressionable teens as I think if I heard the signs then, I would have know what to look out for to prevent myself from getting in one as an adult.

I remember being in the real world and not knowing how to have good money management and I’m 28 and have no idea how to change a lightbulb. Even education for kids to learn about their bodies, that their outie bellybutton is normal and so are their stretch marks - so they don’t go into adulthood thinking their bodies are imperfect.

Children deserve more than Shakespeare or how to play football in pe. They deserve a kick start to life

OP posts:
ScabbyHorse · 19/05/2025 14:31

They are taught some of those things, such as formal letter writing they usually do in year 4 in UK, and abusive relationships and peer pressure stuff they do in PSHE.

Murdoch1949 · 19/05/2025 14:49

Schools do teach life skills in PSHE (Personal, social, health education I think), but not many of the practical things you list, those are for parents to teach. Are schools supposed to have utility meters available so pupils can practice taking readings? Schools cannot put everything into their curriculum, they expect to operate in partnership with parents, who have the majority role in life skills. How long would it take you to show each of your children how to change a bulb, how to read a meter, how to change smoke alarm batteries etc.

SoSoLong · 19/05/2025 15:11

A lot of these things are learnt by lived experience. Plus kids nowadays have information at their fingertips. Not everything has to be actively taught in a classroom setting.

JHound · 19/05/2025 15:12

I think that is the job of parents.

Elsvieta · 19/05/2025 17:57

Stripeyanddotty · 18/05/2025 21:05

So what do you think parents should do?

But the parents don't always know it. I know someone who seems to have got a mortgage without understanding how interest rates work and is now amazed and outraged to discover her payments have gone up. (And obviously parents who have always been renters may know nothing about mortgages). People who seemed to think they'd "somehow" be OK in old age without paying into a pension. A woman who can't sort out anything legally or financially or make medical decisions for her husband after he had a stroke because she has no POA (thought she could just "sort that out", if necessary, AFTER he was incapacitated; also thought you don't need any of that anyway for a spouse). A woman who thought she would automatically inherit everything from her husband, because she's his wife, and is now raging that this isn't the case and refusing to accept that what he chose to do with his will was perfectly legal and she has no grounds for contesting it. There was a woman on MN the other day who doesn't know whether her name is on the deeds to her house (abusive DP isn't telling her). And so on.

The "parents should do it" view comes from a very middle-class, affluent, conscientious-parent, educated (Mumsnet, dare I say) perspective. And what happens with the kids who aren't born into that sort of family? This is how the disadvantaged stay that way.

So yes, in theory, to finance classes in school - the only problem being that it's just very hard to get teens to actually believe that they will one day be concerned with pensions and mortgages, let alone wills and inheritance. Unlikely they'll remember everything they were told in a year, let alone decades down the line. And a lot of stuff might have changed by then anyway. I think a big public-information campaign aimed at adults might be more the way to go.

Dreambouse · 19/05/2025 18:03

Elsvieta · 19/05/2025 17:57

But the parents don't always know it. I know someone who seems to have got a mortgage without understanding how interest rates work and is now amazed and outraged to discover her payments have gone up. (And obviously parents who have always been renters may know nothing about mortgages). People who seemed to think they'd "somehow" be OK in old age without paying into a pension. A woman who can't sort out anything legally or financially or make medical decisions for her husband after he had a stroke because she has no POA (thought she could just "sort that out", if necessary, AFTER he was incapacitated; also thought you don't need any of that anyway for a spouse). A woman who thought she would automatically inherit everything from her husband, because she's his wife, and is now raging that this isn't the case and refusing to accept that what he chose to do with his will was perfectly legal and she has no grounds for contesting it. There was a woman on MN the other day who doesn't know whether her name is on the deeds to her house (abusive DP isn't telling her). And so on.

The "parents should do it" view comes from a very middle-class, affluent, conscientious-parent, educated (Mumsnet, dare I say) perspective. And what happens with the kids who aren't born into that sort of family? This is how the disadvantaged stay that way.

So yes, in theory, to finance classes in school - the only problem being that it's just very hard to get teens to actually believe that they will one day be concerned with pensions and mortgages, let alone wills and inheritance. Unlikely they'll remember everything they were told in a year, let alone decades down the line. And a lot of stuff might have changed by then anyway. I think a big public-information campaign aimed at adults might be more the way to go.

Edited
Show quote history

I know someone who seems to have got a mortgage without understanding how interest rates work and is now amazed and outraged to discover her payments have gone up.

But this info would have been all over the terms and conditions and made pretty clear during the process when selecting an offer. I can see someone being clueless before getting one, but to not be aware after would genuinely require someone to purposefully not pay attention.

People who seemed to think they'd "somehow" be OK in old age without paying into a pension.

Your employer has to offer you a pension now so someone would have to actively opt out of paying into a workplace pension.

A woman who can't sort out anything legally or financially or make medical decisions for her husband after he had a stroke because she has no POA

So a school should teach a lot of unmarried under 16 year olds about this? Same with the one on wills and house ownership. Teaching them to read, to be able to use the Internet and interpret information is useful though.

The "parents should do it" view comes from a very middle-class, affluent, conscientious-parent, educated (Mumsnet, dare I say) perspective. And what happens with the kids who aren't born into that sort of family? This is how the disadvantaged stay that way.

No it isn't, there are many reasons people stay in the poverty cycle, not learning at school about the stuff you've listed isn't one of them.

outerspacepotato · 19/05/2025 18:07

Drivers Ed.

Sheknowsaboutme · 19/05/2025 18:07

Many kids dont have the luxury of loving parents who will teach them. So yes, it should be taught in school.

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 19/05/2025 18:09

Schools are not there to make-up for useless parents.

Elsvieta · 19/05/2025 18:14

Dreambouse · 19/05/2025 18:03

I know someone who seems to have got a mortgage without understanding how interest rates work and is now amazed and outraged to discover her payments have gone up.

But this info would have been all over the terms and conditions and made pretty clear during the process when selecting an offer. I can see someone being clueless before getting one, but to not be aware after would genuinely require someone to purposefully not pay attention.

People who seemed to think they'd "somehow" be OK in old age without paying into a pension.

Your employer has to offer you a pension now so someone would have to actively opt out of paying into a workplace pension.

A woman who can't sort out anything legally or financially or make medical decisions for her husband after he had a stroke because she has no POA

So a school should teach a lot of unmarried under 16 year olds about this? Same with the one on wills and house ownership. Teaching them to read, to be able to use the Internet and interpret information is useful though.

The "parents should do it" view comes from a very middle-class, affluent, conscientious-parent, educated (Mumsnet, dare I say) perspective. And what happens with the kids who aren't born into that sort of family? This is how the disadvantaged stay that way.

No it isn't, there are many reasons people stay in the poverty cycle, not learning at school about the stuff you've listed isn't one of them.

Show quote history

Yes, it's definitely one of them - half of my family are from this world, so I see it.

However well people can read, there remains the "you don't know what you don't know" problem - they don't know what to look for, they don't know what they're missing. They might see words like "interest rates" in black and white, but they don't know what they mean. They see what seems like a wall of jargon and they don't know which bits matter and which don't.

I did point out the problem of getting teens to believe that one day they will be old, and suggested that aiming more education at adults is the answer.

DancingDucks · 19/05/2025 18:17

I understand people saying parents should do this. I also understand those who say not everyone having loving parents to help them with this stuff, but in all honesty, schools can't do everything that a parent or family member should do. They just can't.

My school teaches life skills lessons, we do money sense lessons etc., but can't be expected to do every little thing. We just can't.

Mimilamore · 19/05/2025 18:21

100%…. trouble is anything really useful was squeezed out of the curriculum but I live in hope that the penny will drop and the importance of life skills recognised again. The assumption that they will be learnt at home is false as many families neither have the time or the skills to ensure this. Basic money management would be so useful including how loans work would be so much more helpful than algebra IMO

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 19/05/2025 18:23

Elsvieta · 19/05/2025 18:14

Yes, it's definitely one of them - half of my family are from this world, so I see it.

However well people can read, there remains the "you don't know what you don't know" problem - they don't know what to look for, they don't know what they're missing. They might see words like "interest rates" in black and white, but they don't know what they mean. They see what seems like a wall of jargon and they don't know which bits matter and which don't.

I did point out the problem of getting teens to believe that one day they will be old, and suggested that aiming more education at adults is the answer.

Show quote history

Would any of the people you mentioned have gone to adult “life skills” or financial classes?
Also where do you draw the line? At what point does something become stuff you learn through life experience or are responsible to learn for yourself (if your parents didn’t teach you)?

Elsvieta · 19/05/2025 18:32

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 19/05/2025 18:23

Would any of the people you mentioned have gone to adult “life skills” or financial classes?
Also where do you draw the line? At what point does something become stuff you learn through life experience or are responsible to learn for yourself (if your parents didn’t teach you)?

Show quote history

No, probably not. They'd have viewed it as being like school (which they didn't like), or if it was done through their employer they'd have viewed it as being forced to do unpaid overtime, and so on.

A good question, and one with no easy answer. I mean, I was thinking more in terms of TV ads and that sort of thing, and maybe classes organised through workplaces where you do it within your usual hours. But I think we have to try. It's like sex education; people say the parents should do it, but some of them don't, and their kids are the ones who are pregnant at 14. Sometimes by the time you've learnt through life experience, you've ruined your life, or at least put yourself at such a disadvantage that you'll be playing catch-up for most of it. I don't think those who aren't going to have these sorts of problems should just shrug and turn away.

taxguru · 19/05/2025 18:34

What, more boring than rote learning the periodic table or dates in history?

I suspect the ones "moaning" are the ones who moan about other subjects too, not the more motivated/able students.

taxguru · 19/05/2025 18:36

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 19/05/2025 18:09

Schools are not there to make-up for useless parents.

So what do we do about the poor sods with useless parents. We can't ignore them and we can't afford to subsidise long term unemployment, social costs of poor lifestyle choices, etc.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 19/05/2025 18:40

No. That’s what’s their parents are for. What are parents exactly doing if not this?

taxguru · 19/05/2025 18:42

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 19/05/2025 18:40

No. That’s what’s their parents are for. What are parents exactly doing if not this?

How do you force parents to do it? Maybe take their kids away? It's one hell of a lot cheaper for the state to try to stop the rot and the only feasible place that can be done is schools.

lnks · 19/05/2025 18:44

taxguru · 19/05/2025 18:42

How do you force parents to do it? Maybe take their kids away? It's one hell of a lot cheaper for the state to try to stop the rot and the only feasible place that can be done is schools.

Show quote history

Which subjects would you drop in order to find the time to teach?

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 19/05/2025 18:46

taxguru · 19/05/2025 18:36

So what do we do about the poor sods with useless parents. We can't ignore them and we can't afford to subsidise long term unemployment, social costs of poor lifestyle choices, etc.

Show quote history

at least keep it separate. It's helping no one to dumb down the entire curriculum, which is barely enough at it is.

You would be penalising everyone.

A semi decent school education should not be reserved for private schools.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 19/05/2025 18:47

taxguru · 19/05/2025 18:42

How do you force parents to do it? Maybe take their kids away? It's one hell of a lot cheaper for the state to try to stop the rot and the only feasible place that can be done is schools.

Show quote history

Never said anything about forcing parents to do it I said this is the parent’s job. Some parents don’t parent at all these days. And their kids end up not being able to live in the adult world. It’s lazy. Why even have kids if you can’t do the basics in preparing your child to become an independent adult. Always someone else’s fault.

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 19/05/2025 18:48

What I said earlier in the thread still stands. Even if it's not taught by your parents - because they can't do EVERYTHING either - you just figure it out. We all did!

If someone hasn't got the most basic intelligence to catch up on basic life skills, no extra school lesson is going to help that.

taxguru · 19/05/2025 18:49

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 19/05/2025 18:47

Never said anything about forcing parents to do it I said this is the parent’s job. Some parents don’t parent at all these days. And their kids end up not being able to live in the adult world. It’s lazy. Why even have kids if you can’t do the basics in preparing your child to become an independent adult. Always someone else’s fault.

Show quote history

I agree, but what's your answer to it?

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 19/05/2025 18:50

taxguru · 19/05/2025 18:49

I agree, but what's your answer to it?

Show quote history

not school

(I KNOW they in theory teach everything at school anyway)

but it will be even more of an incentive for lazy parents to do nothing.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 19/05/2025 19:15

taxguru · 19/05/2025 18:49

I agree, but what's your answer to it?

Show quote history

We need to find the reasons why this is not happening? Like is it due to parents being time short? Not having the resources? Single parent household? We have more resources these days and you can access anything via your phone. Could be parents not having enough time? Could be a single mam/dad struggling to survive. There are probably lots of reasons why. Public spending has also been cut for example some skills you could learn at youth clubs, guides. Or after school clubs. But we don’t really have anything like that where I live. I agree in children do need to learn all those things mentioned but I don’t think schools need to be the ones teaching. My answer is for parents to take accountability. You also don’t need to be taking kids to 3/4 activities after school which I see a lot of on MN. In an hour you can teach the basics of what a pension is. Obvs depending on how old the kids is. Prioritise your the time.