Thanks everyone.
i started today. I was too chicken to take the 50mg so split it in half. Have been psychoanalysing how I feel all day. Mostly relief to be honest to know I’m doing something.
Ive made a list of how I felt ‘before’ - it’s pretty bad. Hoping I look back in a few months feeling much better!
I feel a bit vulnerable doing this but I’ll pop the thoughts around how I’ve been feeling here incase anyone can relate….
Feel I have lost sight of what’s normal
Gotten worse since having children
Lack of sleep and hormones are a trigger
Very bad morning anxiety maybe 60% of the time for no reason (just physical symptoms, brain feels clear but anxious in the pit of my stomach the moment I wake)
Nervousness around social events or anything out of the ordinary - dread for days beforehand
Panic feelings with work to presentations or review/121 situations
Overthinking and feel paralysed sometimes like I cannot concentrate or do anything at all
Occasional panic attacks and a constant fear of panic attacks
A feeling of being unable to be present in the moment as my brain is constantly working overtime
Physical symptoms - shaking, loss of appetite, insomnia, intrusive thoughts, feeling sick, exhaustion, obsessive thought eg ruminating on what could happen and worrying about it
Dry mouth, heart palpitations, throat closes up
Worrying about the world and very upset about current news especially children suffering in the world
Everything feel heavy, I don’t feel light mentally
Not wanting to leave my children - ever
Lack of fun and relaxation - mostly unable to properly relax or let go and have fun any more
Good days and bad but anxiety is there probably 75% of the time
Want to feel calm and able to cope, instead I feel like if anything went wrong it would tip me over the edge, feel on high alert, fight or flight, full of adrenaline - exercise is the ONLY thing that helps
If a friend told me she felt like this… I’d probably tell
her to get some medication so trying to do the same and tell my brain it’s fine.