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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think he shouldn’t have to step up

2 replies

Mochicat · 18/05/2025 19:55

and it’s something women should think of when having another child? I read a post somewhere else where a woman had older children who visited their father regularly and a younger child with someone else but the father is not involved. She said when her older children are gone the younger child is upset and feels left out, some people seemed to think the ex was mean and should also be taking the younger child. AIBU in thinking this isn’t mean and women should consider this when having other children? I don’t think if the roles were reversed a woman would be expected to take on her exes new child! it’s different if it was an older child that he had actually had a relationship with and brought up but a new child after they split isn’t his job to step up for and tbh I wouldn’t even ask never mind expect it but what are other peoples thoughts? Is he unreasonable for not stepping up?

OP posts:
TinyTempest · 18/05/2025 19:59

Did you say this at the time on the actual thread?

Hufflemuff · 18/05/2025 20:02

The expectation on him should be, to acknowledge the child and be friendly - but no way should they be expected to take another man's child out, just so that child doesn't feel bad. Especially when there is an age gap that will make spending time with their actual child trickier (ie: supervising a 4 year old so not having as much time to talk with a 14 year old).

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