‘Love you’ vs ‘I love you’

[WomanInBlack78]

*lighthearted!

While I’m very happy I’m being loved at all, my partner tends to write or say just ‘love you’ when he is expressing his love, even after I’ve said or written ‘I love you’. Even in tender moments you think an ‘I’ would be appropriate.

To me ‘love you’ is a casual, friendly sign off, not how you tell someone you love them. It’s kind of making me think he doesn’t love me all that much!! AIBU to think this? Do some people just express love without the ‘I’ stuck in front?

Good grief!

You are over thinking it

You are overthinking this.

Love is love.

Blimey. I'd be happy with both

Quite. There have been some really strange threads on here this week but this one must be a contender for the top.

So sorry but thanks for your engagement in any case!

I’m not British and often get the wrong end of the carrot in such matters of semantics

It's the love that matters.

I do know what you mean OP. Definitely different vibes.

I would say it's a loving sign off rather than a big reminder or declaration. That is to say, he's not saying this to his boss , GP or lady at the chippy, it's for you, or maybe his other closest people (Platonically). He is reminding you regularly that you are loved, but saving the outpourings of romance for more significant occasions so as to keep the significance.

In my case, one big way I show affection is with words. My DP prefers to be more circumspect, lots of hearts etc, but saves full declarations for when they are properly thought through or spontaneous. These little place markers are meaningful him too.

Yes, I think it’s different too. ‘I love you’ is more of a declaration than ‘love you’, in my opinion.

Do some people just express love without the ‘I’ stuck in front?

Yes.

My husband and I both say 'Love you', why do we need the I to make it mean more?

Italy is offended by your username.

I know what you mean, OP.

’Love you’ is what my kids say as a goodbye or on the phone when they sign off.

My husband says,’I love you’ and it feels romantic.

I think what matters here is if HE sees it differently.
Many people (me included) think they mean the same thing. So if he’s one of us then he’s just saying it the way he prefers and it has no bearing on how he feels and he loves you.
if he’s sees it as you do, then you have an issue.

the only way to know is to talk to him about it. But I suspect he is one of us rather than one of you! 🙂

Think you’re right! Well I hope so… sounds a likely scenario. Don’t really want to ask him though

I get your point OP. 'Love you' is what DS yells as he's getting out of the car when I gave him a lift to the gym. I love you is much more intentional and intimate.

However, I think your partner probably doesn't understand the difference - and how it comes across to you. I'm sure it's not deliberate but your should tell him you find it a bit dismissive and not thoughtful.

yanbu

'love you' is something you say to your mate when youre taking them home after one too many.

'I love you' is the appropriate declaration of romantic love ✨

I definitely use it and hear/receive it differently. But I will say both to my DP and kids.

I’ll also say “love you” to friends or my aunt when saying goodbye.

I wouldn’t say “I love you” while looking into my friends’ eyes though so it’s definitely a different sentiment to me.

As long as he’s showing love in other ways I couldn’t get too worked up about it, but it may be worth mentioning in a lighthearted moment, just so that it doesn’t bug you forever every time he says “love you”.

I’d say ‘Love you’ if I didn’t really mean/feel it but felt obliged to say it or, as you say, when it’s less ‘meant’ than a full-on ‘I love you’.

I’m not suggesting that your partner doesn’t fully mean it, though…

And in fact “love you bye” became something the young uns would say automatically eg my sons would say it to their male friends at one point! It was a thing on Radio 1 that callers would say “love you bye” to the DJ when ringing in etc, so it definitely has a casual vibe!

What could he really say if you asked anyway? "Yes, you're in the same category of people I just generally love".

YANBU to have feelings about it but you would be unreasonable to try to influence him to change the way he expresses himself.

It’s possible you’re not the feeling the love in his actions and have fixated on the language. Actions speak louder than words.

I always say to my grown up kids 'bye darling, love you!' and they're the people I love most in the world! I think you're being ridiculous 🤷‍♀️