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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this creepy?

30 replies

Katherine9 · 18/05/2025 09:28

Over the past few weeks, a young chap in my local supermarket has been quite friendly when I've gone in but nothing I thought too much about - just the usual "hello", "how are you?", "finished work?" type comments. He asked my name once (Katherine) which I gave. Then a few days ago, I got a friend request from a name I didn't recognise, and ignored it. When this person started liking old posts from years ago and messaging saying 'hi', I responded to say I don't think we've met, to which he replied 'we have'. It started to feel a bit creepy, and then he said he works in my local shop. I haven't replied or done anything with the friend request, and probably won't go into the shop again.

I'm 50 - easily at least twice his age, the biggest I've ever been (officially obese), and aging more like a dried grape than a fine wine, so very much doubt this is an attraction issue. But the weirdest bit is his thinking it was ok to try to add me in the first place, and I'm not sure how he could have found me without my last name.

Am I being unreasonable to think this is a bit creepy?

OP posts:
purplecorkheart · 19/05/2025 14:43

Tighten up your presence on social media, do not wear anything that would identify your place of work. I do wonder if he lacks social awareness and just thinks you are a friend and does not realise that this is inappropriate. I had this with a relative of a friend.

I would not let him stop me from shopping in my local shop though. I would just use the self-service machine where possible. If he mention you not accepting his friend request say that you do not want to get him in trouble with his bosses.

vintagedove · 19/05/2025 15:07

Fimofriend · 18/05/2025 12:35

Make your Facebook private. Mine has been private from the start. My Facebook friends have been divided into groups and most of them think that I only post once or twice a year when actually they just cannot see the majority of my posts. Not that I post often.

Nobody thinks that. We all do the same and nobody cares. It’s not a huge fb secret or anything.

Katherine9 · 19/05/2025 16:02

Groundhogday2025 · 19/05/2025 14:36

So bloody inconvenient having to find a different shop when it’s your nearest one. That alone makes me angry for you, OP.

Absolutely - it's a further 30 min round trip to the alternative! Yet I just feel I can't face going back in there, actually looking at myself wondering what I did wrong and it feels horrible.

OP posts:
ClaredeBear · 19/05/2025 16:09

If you have friends in common you might have popped up on his suggestions.

Katherine9 · 19/05/2025 16:18

ClaredeBear · 19/05/2025 16:09

If you have friends in common you might have popped up on his suggestions.

I don't have any friends in the local area at all I work from home and have relocated a few times.

OP posts:
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