Being referred to as “that”

[TsunamiSurfer]

Sent a photo edited to say of me to an opposite sex friend.
we are best buddies, or so I thought.
they responded with “I was with that earlier”

thoughts?

lost in written translation?

or disrespectful?

won’t ultimately effect our friendship but I figured enough to garner your thoughts

Thank you

its all so useful

guessing everyone’s gathered there’s been previous (definite inexcusable and disrespectful) behaviour

turned a corner lately so this threw me (perhaps hyper sensitive)

really appreciate all of your input and time everyone

When guys send this to guys it basically means 'check out who I was with'.

It's essentially showing off.

It's a compliment (you're clearly very attractive/sexy in his eyes).

BUT, it is inferred that more probably happened. The usual interpretation of this is 'check out who I f**d'.

So yes, disrespectful, but in his eyes, meant as a huge brag. If you were with him just as a friend, and nothing happened, then he is simply boasting about how beautiful you are, and that you graced him with your presence... but guys would interpret that comment as 'more'.

Ah maybe they mean they were with that too as in a glass of wine?

That’s why it’s always good to seek clarity from the horse’s mouth as it were - can you? We all want to know! 😂

OP, I know you're saying that everyone's interpretation is helpful, but you're getting a massive range of different interpretations because you haven't exactly made it clear what actually happened and in what context.

Your post doesnt make sense. Can you clarify

Also - maybe if he was referring to you - he meant to send to a different friend about you? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Were you with him earlier? You haven’t said

I would say it was typo/autocorrect and he meant i was on that earlier meaning the wine

Also, to clear up for people (feel free to correct me, OP, if I've misinterpreted it too!)...

Male friend of OP sent a picture of OP to his friend saying "I was with that earlier".

No I don't think that's correct. He sent the message to OP, I think.

What a confusing OP though. I've read it several times and...yeh, I'm lost!

Why are you still in touch with him if he has behaved in a really bad way previously? He doesn't deserve your friendship. Set your boundaries higher than this.

You know I've met two women in my life who regularly refer to people as "that". One woman had 4 kids (we trained together) and used to always say "that" instead of he or she about them, it used to always startle me. Another woman I met when I qualified, she was non-clinical staff at the hospital.

The thing was, they were both from the same area of the SouthEast - not far but also not really near to us. Similar age and background too.

I always associated it with dehumanising a person but with these people, it was like they'd be more inclined to do it when they loved the person dearly. I think about it often but have never really spoken about it with anyone else!

I wouldn't treat it as a compliment tbh. Sounds rude and disrespectful.

OP sent the picture to her friend, he responded to her.