To think I’m being a bit ott and she’s just being friendly

[meagain3]

For context I have 0 friends. Me and my sister are 10 months apart and get on amazing/do everything together but id absolutely love some other friends..
the last few I’ve made over the last few years have gone to crap and I’ve given up!
1st friend didn’t want to speak anymore as I was also meeting another friend too aswell as her (I’m allowed more than one friend😅)
2nd one that friend then got a partner and I barely ever see her anymore
3rd friend always said she was too busy for months on end but was out with others a lot as I see on their social media so I took the hint she doesn’t want to meet

so back to square one with no friends!
i have a baby now that’s a few months old and I take him to a baby group..there’s another first time mum there also..she’s a little older than me (I’m mid 20s id say she’s around mid 30s) she seems really nice and we sit together at baby group and our babys interact with eachother. She makes the effort to ask how I am and how things are with baby and asks questions about parenting etc. my babys a few weeks older than hers so I guess she thinks I may know a little more than her.
the lady that runs the class makes Facebook groups for each class and adds all the mums into the group. I had messaged the group to say I’ve bought the next term of tickets for baby group and id love to see some of them there. She replied saying ‘me too I’ll see you there! Xx’

would I be absolutely weird to approach a friendship with her? Aibu to think she’d be open to that as she talks to me a lot and we get on..how do I initiate meeting up with the baby’s for a coffee etc😅I’m scared of being rejected and awkwardly going to the baby group still🤦🏻‍♀️

She already replied, but next term is months away!! Best to message her "Fab. Do you fancy bringing x over for a playdate in the half term break?" or whatever. Nothing to lose.

Just suggest a meet up! Message her and ask if she fancies a coffee! I do this sort of thing a lot now I've got little kids - appreciate it can feel a bit awkward, but honestly you won't seem weird, it's not uncommon. Sounds like you really get on with each other 😀

Of course! Don’t overthink this, you clearly get on and have your children in common.

One of my closest friends (she was another parent at my children’s primary school ) is 11 years older than me. Our young adult children aren’t friends anymore but we still are and I think that we always will be. She’s fun and interesting!

I'm imagining she means block, rather than term. Like next 6/8 week block.

@meagain3 you could also, after baby class is finished, ask your new friend if she has any plans for afterwards and if she fancies joining you on a walk or a cuppa?

Do it! I met one of my now close friends in the school playground with our elder kids - we both had a toddler.

I basically just forced myself on her! She always says she is glad I did as someone has to drive these things forward!

Don't overthink, just ask her if she wants to have a picnic or playdate with the babies, the weather's nice for it.

Similarly, it's not personal that you haven't become close mates with the othes, you have to keep putting yourself out there to meet people.

If you’re worried about rejection you could just keep it open ended - ‘would be great to go for a cuppa/walk sometime if you fancy it, feel free to get in touch’. Then it’s no pressure either way. But you won’t know unless you initiate something! I think the best friendships have roughly equal initiation on both sides so both people know they’re wanted.

First time mums are often a bit isolated.. You could try asking, generally, on the FB chat, if anyone fancies meeting up for a coffee or at a park, either after the group meets or on another day. Alternatively, message/speak to this mum first and say you're at a bit of a loose end and would she like to meet up. I'm sure she won't think you're OTT. She might say no because she's busy or not looking for more friends.

@OnYerselfHenyes 6week blocks I mean but there called terms on the place I book them so got a little confused haha

we live in a rural area with 2 towns either side of the location the group is at so we have to drive to the class and there’s not really anywhere to walk where it’s located so perhaps asking to meet for coffee is better. She’s already asked which one of the towns i live, we live in the same town☺️we’re the only ones who really talk with eachother as the other few mums that go bring there husbands or family members but we both go alone

It seems we may be on the same page then (hopefully) now just to pluck up the courage and approach her😂

Don't overthink it - just ask her if she wants to go for a coffee after or meet up one day? What's the worst that can happen? I moved to a new town 24 years ago and didn't know a soul - met other mums at school/park and invited them to mine for coffee/playdate. Made a lot of acquaintances and a few really good friends who are still friends now our kids are all adults. Just let things evolve naturally and see who you click with!

Yes, this is a good idea as well. My youngest is two and I have a bunch of mums I met in breastfeeding group that I'm still friendly with. Some have become very close friends. Quite often we will put in the boob chat "I'm going to be taking LO here for xyz on this day, feel free to join". It's a nice, no pressure way to invite people along to what could be a play date x

Do it @meagain3 , you r got nothing to lose 🩷