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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Advice after upstairs neighbour arrested at 4am by 5 police officers

79 replies

Lulabelle25 · 17/05/2025 13:13

I'm worried about my security and safety after 5 police officers came to the house at 4am and arrested a man living in the flat of my upstairs neighbour . Before they took him away i heared them say it was for failing to attend court. My neighbour herself tried to assault me last year and I do not even know if the housing association know the man who was arrested yesterday is living there. My neighbour and i share a front door on a street property. What can I do to ensure my safety and security now?

OP posts:
Spinachpastapicker · 17/05/2025 15:22

IberianBlackout · 17/05/2025 13:44

They also have a duty of welfare and safeguarding

I’m sure they do, in some perfect, fully resourced, utopian world. Back in the real world, they don’t give a shit. Capitalism in action.

CalleOcho · 17/05/2025 15:22

Evaka · 17/05/2025 13:31

People are so fucking weird and mean on here.

OP shares a front door with a woman who tried to assault her and a man who was arrested in the wee hours by five cops.

They sound like scumbags and I'd be trying to move OP. In the meantime, make sure doors locked and yes get a ring doorbell.

Im sorry but what does she expect us to tell her?

She either moves or stays put. She probably already knows that.

We can’t control the actions of other people. We can only control what we can do.

RawBloomers · 17/05/2025 15:24

I can see why it's unsettling, OP. With the assault as well (which I assume was upsetting and frightening but didn't result in serious injury?) it points to this not being a one off, unfortunate incident, but a couple who are not bothered about societal norms.

If it makes you feel any safer, there's no telling what the guy who was arrested has done other than not attend court. It could be for something that, as a neighbour, you are at risk regarding, but it could be for drink driving or TV license dodging where you are probably at little to no risk. I think the assault is more worrying.

I would make sure anything that they do to you is documented so report any future assaults or any harassment. Ensure you have good locks on your flat door and secure windows. Some sort of camera that covers your entry would be good if you can get away with it, I know it can be difficult in shared properties. If you can't have anything outside the door then something inside may be better than nothing, but may not be worth it. Are there others in your building or is it just the two flats? If others, finding out if the couple treat other people the way they've treated you might be useful and give you more of an idea of risk.

I would absolutely ignore people who say it's none of your business. This is your life. Don't build it up into something it's not, there is risk everywhere, and you don't know much yet, it may be nothing. You still need to have a life worth living not tie yourself up in knots of worry and avoid things you love. But don't ignore it. At the moment you don't have much to go on so you mainly need to stay alert. Knowing what's going on around you is sensible. The police are not your first line of defence - you are.

TheLimeQuail · 17/05/2025 15:25

I see what you’re saying he’s unpredictable and not in control of himself. I wouldn’t want to live like that

AzureOtter · 17/05/2025 15:35

There's no reason to suggest you'd be at risk so I wouldn't worry about it.

mathanxiety · 17/05/2025 15:45

How did the upstairs woman 'attempt to assault' you?

Did you report the incident?

MounjaroMounjaro · 17/05/2025 15:50

@mathanxiety You quote her there as though you don't believe her, yet you have no reason to disbelieve her. It's supposed to be a supportive place here, not one where we question women about whether they were actually assaulted.

Missywelliot · 17/05/2025 15:51

Evaka · 17/05/2025 13:31

People are so fucking weird and mean on here.

OP shares a front door with a woman who tried to assault her and a man who was arrested in the wee hours by five cops.

They sound like scumbags and I'd be trying to move OP. In the meantime, make sure doors locked and yes get a ring doorbell.

Yes.
I'd get a ring doorbell and make sure it picks up everyone passing.
I'd report everything dodgy to housing association and local councillors.

I live in a shit hole estate and have zero tolerance for anything iffy these days.

ilovesooty · 17/05/2025 15:53

MounjaroMounjaro · 17/05/2025 15:50

@mathanxiety You quote her there as though you don't believe her, yet you have no reason to disbelieve her. It's supposed to be a supportive place here, not one where we question women about whether they were actually assaulted.

She didn't imply that at all. She asked for some further information. They were questions I'd have asked too.

londongirl12 · 17/05/2025 15:54

What makes you think you are now unsafe??

Icantstandupforlyingdown · 17/05/2025 16:01

Definately contact the housing association on Monday morning and let them know what's happened.

I don't know why so many pps are telling you to mind your own business, I would be really shook by this happening too, especially as you have a shared entranceway.

AzureOtter · 17/05/2025 16:01

I don't think anyone is doubting the OPs account, they're asking why she thinks she thinks she needs to secure her safety and security because a neighbour was arrested?

AzureOtter · 17/05/2025 16:02

Icantstandupforlyingdown · 17/05/2025 16:01

Definately contact the housing association on Monday morning and let them know what's happened.

I don't know why so many pps are telling you to mind your own business, I would be really shook by this happening too, especially as you have a shared entranceway.

Why?

ginasevern · 17/05/2025 16:22

AzureOtter · 17/05/2025 16:02

Why?

Because she lives in an HA flat underneath scumbags. If you've ever been in the same position (I have), then you'll know that it very much is her fucking business.

AzureOtter · 17/05/2025 16:32

ginasevern · 17/05/2025 16:22

Because she lives in an HA flat underneath scumbags. If you've ever been in the same position (I have), then you'll know that it very much is her fucking business.

I'm not saying it's not her 'fucking' business. I'm saying why would she need to consider her security and safety?

Since the 'fucking' scumbags have been 'fucking' arrested?

Why would OP be at risk at all even before they were arrested and especially now they've been arrested, why is she fretting about her safety and security?

Hwi · 17/05/2025 16:36

nebulae · 17/05/2025 14:55

That's a shitty thing to say. Do you think OP would be living in a HA flat with crappy neighbours if she could afford to "buy a private well-secured property"? You're basically saying HA tenants just have to put up and shut up.

What a silly comment. Some HA - like in Gosfield Street Fitzrovia or in Covent Garden or in Euston (Datchet House) or the one in front of the British Museum shit on private residences, including mine.

YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 17/05/2025 16:37

TheLimeQuail · 17/05/2025 15:25

I see what you’re saying he’s unpredictable and not in control of himself. I wouldn’t want to live like that

How do you know?

nowhere has op indicated that

Dontletthebedbugsbite2 · 17/05/2025 17:17

Scentedjasmin · 17/05/2025 14:50

Well that's very empathetic and helpful.

Well it is the most sensible and safest thing to do. Getting involved in criminal activity that doesn't involve you and hasn't threatened your safety in any way isnt going to end well. I've lived in shitty areas with shitty people, as long as you maintain a distance and be polite they generally don't want to bother you. It's also not healthy to obsess over this so OP should forget about it & carry on with her life.

roundtable · 17/05/2025 17:24

Hwi · 17/05/2025 16:36

What a silly comment. Some HA - like in Gosfield Street Fitzrovia or in Covent Garden or in Euston (Datchet House) or the one in front of the British Museum shit on private residences, including mine.

Lucky you. Mine was in Westminster and a shithole. Op may have had a different experience to you, considering her post is about unruly neighbours not the joys of living in social housing in Covent Garden.

But nevermind, the answer to her problems is to buy a private, well secured property or just enjoy her life 😉 And you've the cheek to call another poster's comment silly!

neilyoungismyhero · 17/05/2025 18:02

Hwi · 17/05/2025 14:22

Buy a private well-secured property if you can afford it. If not, chill and enjoy your life.

What world are you living in? The op is in a housing association property sharing a front door with low life's. Pretty sure she's not in a financial situation to buy her own detached property. Words fail me.

Hwi · 17/05/2025 18:18

neilyoungismyhero · 17/05/2025 18:02

What world are you living in? The op is in a housing association property sharing a front door with low life's. Pretty sure she's not in a financial situation to buy her own detached property. Words fail me.

I live in the world where I pay for my own stuff, which I can criticise. If I am gifted stuff or given stuff at a greatly reduced rate (HA) I am forever grateful. Only I was unable to get HA accommodation, had to live with parents and save to buy.

AzureOtter · 17/05/2025 18:51

neilyoungismyhero · 17/05/2025 18:02

What world are you living in? The op is in a housing association property sharing a front door with low life's. Pretty sure she's not in a financial situation to buy her own detached property. Words fail me.

Like hundreds of thousands of people living in flats, including me.

Living in a flat and sharing an entrance with other people doesn't mean we're automatically at risk from everyone else in the block since we have actual doors on our properties.

OP heard an upstairs neighbour be arrested. That's a good thing. That shows the Police and the criminal justice system is working.

It doesn't mean the OP needs some sort of extra security because she was never involved in it. it was just a neighbour upstairs. She was never at risk behind her door or at risk using the shared front door.

nebulae · 17/05/2025 19:11

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MasterOfOne · 17/05/2025 22:35

I have lived in council and HA properties for most of my life.

Op - report everything. The HA has more powers than you think, but they can only work on you reporting what is going on.

My last home, the police were weekly visitors to a resident who CLEARLY needed additional support - the only way we got her to move was by reporting the impact of her behaviour on us was having. It took a long time, but in the end they got her out.

The HA needs evidence to go to court.

Panterusblackish · 17/05/2025 22:46

Hwi · 17/05/2025 14:22

Buy a private well-secured property if you can afford it. If not, chill and enjoy your life.

Do you not think she would have done that after the woman assaulted her is she could?

This is a support forum. Primarily for women. Why so nasty and dismissive?

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