To think my boys playing is a bit much

[Todayisaday]

I have two boys age 7 and 12. They play by winding each other up, making war games, that end in some sort of combat. Making challenge games up, that end in one losing and then a fight with cushions. Going in each others rooms to play then ending up annoying each other and ends in one shouting get out. Throwing socks at each other etc. Play football in the garden and purposefully see who can kick the ball highest then ends in one kicking the other ones ball over the fence on purpose.
Is this normal play for boys or are mine extra?
I am sure me and my sisters played nicely, playing offices, schools and board games. Maybe rose tinted spectacles but it seems so different.

My older two girls sound very similar. Play brilliantly…when they aren’t deliberately annoying each other. It’s incredibly wearing but I think pretty normal.

The age gap with yours is fairly big though - is the 7 year old getting a bit pushed around? That would be my main concern. Maybe encourage some collaborative ‘projects’ like a big Lego model or scavenger hunt.

Sounds like the exact games I used to play with my brothers. We turned winding each other up into a sport

It sounds normal to me. If they are laughing at the end of it and enjoying together the exercise adrenaline, then leave them to it. Boys need the rough and tumble.

Congratulations on your healthy boys enjoying so much real world, unstructured play with each other. Yes, play will go wrong sometimes, and they'll work out how to resolve the arguments and make up and get along together.

Maybe buy them some sparring gear, focus pads and gumshields, set out some rules for using them and let them get on with it.

Perfectly normal. Mine are older now so not so physical but their favourite way of winding each other up is insults. They are very creative and funny. It is their way of showing affection.

Very normal, for boys and girls.
My kids are younger but exactly the same.

Perfectly normal! In our house the preferred game was trying to catch a sibling unawares and slap the just removed lid from your yoghurt on their forehead.

My brother did it to me last week. He’s 42.

Most boys generally don’t want to ‘play offices, schools and board games’ 😆

Nothing wrong with any of those things (& of course boys will do them sometimes) but boys have a special kind of ‘energy’. They aren’t wired for sitting still. They have to move their bodies a lot more. It’s how they make sense of the world. Partly it’s due to the testosterone and other hormones but also how the brain is wired. How do they get on at school?

I grew up with only sisters and we definitely played calm things like school etc like you mentioned. I have sons (and a daughter) and my sons have a lot more energy, they definitely need to get out and run around every single day which is different from my daughter and how I grew up with sisters - she and I definitely do (and did) go outside to play but with the boys I find times where it's like "we need to get outside and run off this energy" rather than bouncing off the walls inside. Mine don't fight/ combat/deliberately annoy by throwing the ball away though, it stays friendly even though there's lots of energy.

Perfectly normal and better than screens.

I have two boys, this sound perfectly normal.

I think the physical needs of young boys and middle aged women (talking about myself here) can be very different. I try to keep myself mindful of that.

I also wonder if our school system properly caters for the sheer physicality of little kids.

I've got three boys.

Completely normal!

I would be a lot more concerned by children "playing nicely", quiet role plays and board games! Kids are active and siblings spent their lives winding each other up.

I would also ban them from playing in the garden if they keep sending the ball over the fence and keep pestering the neighbours.

Sounds like they are having fun! That’s lovely.

As ha ex primary teacher I can tell you that it categorically doesn’t cater for it. Not for girls or boys but especially boys. And then they get labelled as ‘naughty’ or ‘fidgets’ or ‘adhd’.

That's what I suspected unfortunately.

I'd hope things are getting better, but you see things like the amount of kids medicalised for ADHD in the US, which is horrific

I have two boys but close in age - sounds like them - my worry is always that one will get hurt ( family I know elder sibling accidentally broke the others arm )

For anyone struggling with boys I would recommend a space for weights or a rowing machine or other such equipment - if you can find it - it’s proved very useful for my more boisterous teen - we have a useless sun room that’s too cold or hot to be used as a conventional living space

Thanks all, seems my boys are normal for boys, they were both off sick with diorreah when I wrote this but had recovered by the afternoon and had the energy of an entire football team 😂 Take on board all the constructive points and ideas thank you :))

Yes he does a little, but he seems to enjoy it and gives as good as he gets until the bigger one gets a bit ott. I try and separate them before it get to this point though. Feels like an endless cycle!

Sounds like my 2 boys (aged 9 and 5).

Sometimes I think "Are my 2 extra loud/naughty?" but then everyone else i speak to who has only boys says theirs are the same.

DS2 (in reception) appears to have become a tiny mascot for DS1s friends (Yr 4) though - so that's adorable at least.

My boys often play beating the crap out of each other and there 15 and 22 😂

Not just boys! I have a boy and a girl of similar ages to yours and this is our life! Totally within the realms of normal, you are not alone!

All very normal!

Yeah if I'm not in view of my little one and he goes quiet that signals that he's up to something 🤣 if I had two and they were quiet that would definitely signal trouble 😂