Neighbor hates my tree

[Treehugger14]

We bought our house in Autumn last year and it is our first time having a garden. Not in the UK to clarify from the start.
Soon we realized that two of the trees were falling down and organized to have them felled. Since they were on the boundary of each of our neighbors, the workmen needed to access to their gardens, so we let them know in advance.

When discussing this, the neighbour to the right asked us to remove another tree, a very tall Linden tree, as it drops leaves into his garden and the birds shit on his rasberries. We love this tree and it would also be very expensive to remove, so we said no.

In the meantime, I have gotten a bird feeder camera and love seeing the birds come every day.

Along side the fence separating our gardens, which is just a low slatted thing, we also have multiple rose bushes. They grow tall but fully within our garden. Yesterday I was at work and got a notification of a new bird on my feeder so opened the app to check it out. Only it wasn't a bird, it was the neighbour coming over the fence into my garden to trim the rose bush, casually throwing the stems over into his garden. I'm talking about several huge parts of the bush removed.

Today I saw him out in the garden, kindly asked him how his veggies were doing, and mentioned I saw him come into my garden yesterday and next time please ask. I did not mention the camera, but that i had seen it from the window. I am sure he was puzzled because he may have waited for me to leave and watch me walk down the street. The camera only shows my garden, not the neighbour's, but i don't want to alert him to its presence in case he comes in again.

He didn't apologize, and instead immediately switched the topic to ranting about our Linden tree and how he was going to sue us if a branch fell on his grandson's head and we need to remove it. I said I could pay someone to check the branches and trim it and he said no I want it gone. I said well i like the tree. "That doesn't interest me. What interests me is all the leaves i need to pick up from my garden." And I said "Well what interests me is when people trespass on my property so please dont come in my garden." He then demanded to speak to my dh, which really gets my back up because dh will not be making any decisions about the tree without my permission anyway, because im the one doing all the work in the garden.
We already removed two trees as soon as we moved in which the previous owners had clearly neglected, immediately rectifying a problem for all neighbours - but this tree is perfeclty healthy and attracting beautiful wildlife. We met the neighbour's son who actually owns the house nextdoor and exchanged numbers, so were thinking about contacting him as he might be a bit more reasonable.

I couldnt get rid of the tree now anyway, because it is against the law. But AIBU to want to keep my tree and for expecting at least an apology?

YANBU to keep the tree, but do trim any branches that overhang his garden.

I don’t think anyone should expect an apology. It’s always nice if one is offered because the person is genuinely sorry, but an apology should never be expected. You would only get a meaningless one in this case, and that is totally pointless. Save your energy.

There’s no right and wrong here really, just two different points of view. Frustrating for both of you.

Asking to speak to your husband shows what kind of guy he is. Well done not backing down, he's an arsehole.

Some people really have it in for trees. Try to make sure yours is protected, because these types can sabotage trees and kill them surreptitiously.

I'd get a solicitors letter sent to him about laying off the tree and keeping out of your garden. Are you able to secure your garden so he can't get in?

Your neighbour has no right to demand anything and he has no right to climb into your garden or cut back branches that aren't over hanging his land. He sounds like a sexist bully.

He does have the right to prune anything directly overhanging his land but without trespassing on your garden

I suggest you keep the footage of him climbing into your garden. It may be useful. And very wise of you to avoid mentioning the camera.

The thing is, I heard from our other neighbours that the tree has been an issue in the past with the people who lived here previously and clearly they did not budge so he has lived with it for a long time. It’s a very large and old tree. It is also creating privacy between our gardens. Just because we are new owners I think he’s trying it on.

Also it seems like a defensive tactic. He came into my garden, it’s not acceptable behavior. So let’s remove attention from that and start shouting about the tree instead.

Just admit you were wrong and got caught. You’ve nicked a load of roses and ruined my bush.

Get a tpo put on the tree.

Keep a copy of.the video of him criminally damaging your roses which he trespassed to do and jeep an eye on him as he may do worse

You should have asked for your cut roses back.

Offer to rake the leaves for him and give him a protective net for his vegetables

He has no right to go into your garden and start gardening. We had something slightly similar with a neighbour. It really irritated me because she and her partner are so surly and unfriendly! She clearly couldn't lower herself to messaging me despite having my number 🙄 to check it was OK first. I would never dream of going into her garden unless she invited me in or maybe in an emergency without checking.

Anyway, yanbu.

Anyone who demands to speak to DH if they don't like my decision gets told they've already spoken to the boss so there's no point. It's not how we actually operate our relationship but DH would give them the same response if he knew they'd already spoken to me.

Is the tree actually overhanging his garden? You said it drops leaves, but they could be just blowing in from yours. So soneone above said, if it's overhanging, he does have the right to trim what's on his side. So potentially, be prepared for some damage to be done.

He's a bully and thinks he can get away with it because you are new.

I have heard of too many instances of hedging and trees being cut down while people are away, so get a camera up.

It is so upsetting.
My best friend came home to the entire back boundary cut down while she was on holidays.

Hard to describe it.

New neighbours perpendicular to her house moved in and just did it while they were away on holiday.
They had never met them.
No conversation whatsoever.
Batshit.
She did have cameras.
Her next door neighbour was a lovely police officer and he too had been away but came back to them suddenly gone.
He went around immediately and spoke to the contractor doing it.
The contractor had been told they had full permission from the owners.
Idiots not to have checked.

Hard to describe the upset. Our friends were just devastated by it.

They made a police complaint for criminal damage and were so lucky that their police neighbour made a supporting statement, as did the contractors who were very pissed off to have been dragged into this.

It was settled out of court, the neighbours were advised they would lose.
They paid for pleached trees across the boundary.
Sadly the upset spoiled the house for my friend and when things were resolved they sold up and moved to a house where this could never happen again.

Honestly I could give you 5 versions of this that has happened over the past 20 years.

Maybe one day Op you will feel your tree is too large. If you've got a tpo on it to spite your neighbour you may be very sorry.
I wonder how all the tree huggers on here would feel if they were in the position of Ops neighbour. Just because a tree is in the garden doesn't mean that its always going to be a suitable size for the space. Trees grow you know. Sometimes they get too big

Please get a TPO on the tree, make him aware that there is one and share some info with him about what that means from a legal perspective. I would also make him aware that you have wildlife cameras in your garden so he knows that if he comes in and decides to poison it or damage it in any way, you will have evidence.

Don’t do anything to your lovely tree. How hard is it for this twat to rake up leaves once a year? He’s being ridiculous.

That tree is more important to the planet than you are.

He's a bully. Get a TPO put on it if there isn't one already.

I've had a neighbour like this. He would argue with me. I realised the best way to deal with this was to have something rehearsed and just kept repeating it. ( "We like the linden. It's not going to be coming down".). Having leaves fall on your garden is pretty normal.

Our tree had a tpo on it. Neighbours over the back knew this. They hired a tree surgeon to destroy it.
Man from council came round and announced never mind it will grow back. .
Fucking spineless idiot he was...
And he had a combover....

he's obviously a misogynist prick who doesn't take the little ladies word for anything.

The fact you kept your cool and said no to him, then he asked to speak to your DH, well im sorry what a prick. Like he doesnt want to talk to the little woman, a man will understand better! Er sorry mate, youve just made things worse for yourself

We’ve got some large trees in our garden - we are city centre but we have all sorts of birds visiting - jays, blackbirds, pigeons, crows, plus lots of small birds, and even tawny owls at night. My neighbour is OBSESSED with the leaves that my tree is dropping. Only mine though. Not everyone else’s big trees that are also dropping leaves. Every time I see her she asks when I’m planning to cut it down. I’m not - it’s very tedious. It’s not the tree wasn’t there when she bought the house! It’s been there for over 100 years…

Linden trees have such a gorgeous scent. I also wouldn't remove one if I had one in my garden.
I would be raging if someone came into my garden and chopped of bits of my roses!
In this case with him hating your tree so much, I would probably let him know that you have a camera recording the wildlife in your garden so he knows you would see if he came in again and or tried to do something with your tree.

The second sentence of the OP says that they aren’t in the UK so TPO is irrelevant.

She could check if the country she’s in has anything similar, or if they have other regulations that may apply. Or if she shares which country people could help her look.

I think she mostly wants a rant though. OP, your neighbour is very unreasonable and also annoying. I think it’s obvious that he’s not going to apologize for butchering your roses but hopefully now that he knows he was caught he won’t do it again. What an arse.