New neighbours complaining about our toilet

[Amanda98]

We’ve got a new build where one side of our house completely backs on to a neighbours garden - that’s the back wall/boundary of their garden essentially.

Downstairs, we have a toilet with a window which is on the side of the house where that wall is, and has a small window which opens at the top. Their garden is slightly lowered so it isn’t within reaching distance. It’s a fairly odd design but we’ve lived here for years with no issues.

The neighbours have recently changed. In one of the early weeks in April when it was warm, they put a note through the door which asked we keep the window closed when it’s sunny because of the smell. We don’t really open it much anyway so thought nothing of it.

We’ve since had a further note through this week asking it stays closed on Saturday because they are hosting a BBQ for a family members birthday. We also have family over on Saturday and the downstairs loo is the one they’d naturally use.

Are the neighbours being CF? They surely can’t expect us to introduce a rule where we only crap upstairs whenever they say so!

I think if someone made such a request to me I'd fall about laughing.

Oh my god, you were actually serious?

Crikey, you smell your dad's backside!?

Gross. Here doggy, doggy.... 😂

Possibly, although the first note referenced the smell rather than sound!

Wipe your ass with their note and deliver it to them on Saturday after you have had your lunch/dinner/your own BBQ etc....

I mean, WTF do they think a toilet is for?

They are cunts.

I think I would ignore it till they actually addressed it face to face. Then I'd tell them that the window will be closed during the "doing" to guard against sound and you've supplied a spray for any smell afterward, but that no, you can't and won't be keeping the window closed because they have guests. Suggest they stay away from the end of their garden and check their drains.

Send them a note advising them that you are a vegan family and ask them to please refrain from using their BBQ as you don’t want the smell in your toilet.

I would double check my drains just in case there was an issue but no, I certainly would NOT be told by a crazy neighbour to keep any of my windows shut.

It’s a reasonable size, they do have a seating area at the back which is quite close to it though.

Can they hear the sound of wanking perhaps?

I mean it’s not going to be pleasant is it sitting there talking to a friend and plop plop flush.

Eating some kebobs, waft of shite.

Though I recommend your neighbour gets one for those planters with trellis and pops it right up to the wall with a clematis or something.

Because of the smell?! Bloody hell. They sound over sensitive. Unless the toilet is in constant use with people doing number 2s,,I can't imagine there'd be any smell coming out of the window. Some people are just anal when it comes to anything to do with toilets (sorry!).

Is it definitely a 💩smell that is the issue?

If you've got 3 teenage DS is there a chance there's actually a dried urine boys'-toilets ammonia smell - in which case that IS horrible for your neighbours as it's constantly there, and you need to give it a proper hardcore clean and instruct them to clean up after themselves!

Sorry?

Simon and Garfunkel Earworm

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of ...

'clear a suburb'!!!

I have just choked on my lunch.

It seems really unlikely to me that fresh poo smells would be so invasive and pungent in a garden setting like that, I would be wondering if there was some drainage/sewage situation going on, especially with weather getting warmer, which can increase the smell.

This is totally off topic but I can’t bring myself to poop in the downstairs loo, it’s a pee only loo, other than emergencies! No idea why, it just feels wrong pooping downstairs Maybe I’ll give it a go sometime. It might be freeing.

In fairness to the neighbours, if I had a toilet with a window that opened out directly onto where they were sat eating, or having a BBQ with guests, I would use a different bathroom out of embarrassment or keep the window shut until they went in

I see I'm alone though

Don't be daft. You can clean a loo as much as you like but when you actually shit in it, the shit smells and that smell is in the air and goes out of the window. Cleaning the loo makes FA difference in the moment. The shit is done. Unless your shits don't stink, which they will, the smell is out there until it dissipates.

I wonder did they say smell in order to shame you into closing the window rather than saying it is the sound.

Realistically, the toilet and your window was there first, they should have investigated this before buying.

I would keep the window shut when going (sound wise) and get some poo pourri spray
we use it at work as our toilets don’t have windows and it’s really effective

Windows open - multiple teen boys - it happens.
(Wasn't suggesting it was you Op!)

I do have to say that if they can smell fresh shit in their garden frequently then that’s pretty horrible for them. I wouldn’t complain to a neighbour about it but I would find it gross, and I guess it’s maybe not the kind of thing that would occur when buying the house. So I do sympathise with them if they are having to smell other people’s shit numerous times a day. But you can’t ask people not to use their toilet in a normal way.

I think I would probably stick some VIPoo in there as a neighbourly concession.

Ignore them. Or you have strong smelling shits

Unless everyone in your household has daily chronic diarrhoea then I think they’re being ridiculously over dramatic

Just ignore - as PP has said, once you agree to one demand these types will want constant take

Personally, I think the CF neighbour is jealous of your extra loo and is intent on you not using it!
As already suggested, have a curry, loads of cabbage………….sorted!