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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at my husbands comment

18 replies

Sangri · 16/05/2025 11:55

I’ve been trying to lose weight since the start of the year. I’ve lost 10kg so doing well and still have maybe another 10kg to lose.

This week I’ve just really struggled, it’s been a stressful week and I came on my period this morning. I told myself today would be the day I get back on with my healthy eating/exercise. I told my husband I came on my period this morning and how it wasn’t a good first day at getting back into things because of the period and his reply was “oh well that’s another excuse for you then”.

it’s really upset me

OP posts:
Agix · 16/05/2025 12:01

Fuck that guy. YANBU. That is not supportive partner talk.

Lose the weight, gain confidence back, find a better guy who doesn't say unnecessary demoralising shit (you don't need to lose weight to do this but confidence will help).

LoveWine123 · 16/05/2025 12:04

He’s being unreasonable. Unless you are like my DH who starts a diet every Monday and ends it on the Wednesday. He can’t expect me to take him seriously

BaronessBomburst · 16/05/2025 12:07

You've already lost 10kg. That's not someone who's living on excuses!
Is he jealous, or resentful that you've been successful?

ShortyShorts · 16/05/2025 12:10

The thing is, you're always going to have periods right up until menopause and you're always going to have stressful days no matter what.

So he's right it is an excuse, but it's one that you're perfectly entitled to make as it's your body, your food and your choice.

And because it is your body, your food and your choice, you should keep other people out of your business.

You made it his business with your comment. Why do you think other people need to know what you might/might not eat and when?

Could he be sick of your diet talk?

laurini · 16/05/2025 12:12

YANBU

is he generally like this or was it a one off that he's likely to apologise for? If he's generally like this, maybe he is jealous of you or otherwise, he's just a dickhead.

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 16/05/2025 12:22

if you lost 10kg, you are obviously doing it well.

Where does this comment come from?

BoredZelda · 16/05/2025 12:38

That’s a great achievement. Well done! It isn’t an easy thing to do. Your husband needs to wind his neck in.

Is this the first week you’ve slipped? It sounds like he’s hearing this a lot. Still makes him a complete dick as you are an adult and can be as on and off with your health kick as much as you want. But if he is seeing a pattern of you being off it and you think you’ve been on it, maybe look at what is knocking you off and find if there is a trigger you can avoid in future? For me it was getting to the point where I felt healthier, then I found a whole load of reasons to not be so organised with it and a year later I’m back where I started 🤦🏻‍♀️

BoredZelda · 16/05/2025 12:40

ShortyShorts · 16/05/2025 12:10

The thing is, you're always going to have periods right up until menopause and you're always going to have stressful days no matter what.

So he's right it is an excuse, but it's one that you're perfectly entitled to make as it's your body, your food and your choice.

And because it is your body, your food and your choice, you should keep other people out of your business.

You made it his business with your comment. Why do you think other people need to know what you might/might not eat and when?

Could he be sick of your diet talk?

All of those things make him a dick. Being tired of your wife talking about making a major change? She didn’t make it his business to berate her, she is looking for support. He should have talked to her about it rather than making a pissy comment. She’s lost 10kg. It’s not as if she is slacking.

ShortyShorts · 16/05/2025 12:44

BoredZelda · 16/05/2025 12:40

All of those things make him a dick. Being tired of your wife talking about making a major change? She didn’t make it his business to berate her, she is looking for support. He should have talked to her about it rather than making a pissy comment. She’s lost 10kg. It’s not as if she is slacking.

Show quote history

Oh come on, you know full well how stressful it can be if (for example) someone's always banging on about their diet and trying and failing etc etc.

I'm not saying that's the case here as non of us know, but the words “oh well that’s another excuse for you then”, didn't come out of nowhere.

They could be the words of someone truly frustrated for all we know 🤷‍♂️

Renabrook · 16/05/2025 12:45

Well does he have to listen you make constant excuses? Does he need to know about your diet?

There is sharing mutual things and this is being spoken at, we are not him so only your version

toomuchfaff · 16/05/2025 12:58

My response to him would have been fuck you very much you unsupportive prick.Next time he's looking for some support in anything, match that energy and remind him how that tyoe of language isn't supportive is it? Never if we were supportive of each other?

And if he's still a prick, start to wonder what does he bring to your life? Because it's not support

AngelinaFibres · 16/05/2025 13:23

Is he fat. Would he prefer you to stay a larger size

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 16/05/2025 17:22

Maybe he's a bit bored of diet talk, it can sometimes be all consuming (my husband on a diet talks exclusively about what he eats, what he didn't eat, what he did eat, what he wants to eat - obvs I try and be supportive but I have said before "sorry can we just talk about something else")
I guess only you know if he snapped in the moment because he was bored and being a dick, or if it's a pattern of being horrible and unsupportive. If the latter, he's a douche.

Itsoneofthose · 16/05/2025 23:41

You can loose 12 stone of useless fat instantly by getting rid of him.

MeganM3 · 17/05/2025 00:20

Only you know if you’re on target, have been working as hard as you can or if you are making excuses. If he is right and you have been making excuses then perhaps you’re just upset because he hit a nerve.

DrummingMousWife · 17/05/2025 00:33

Tell him it’s not an excuse, you are half way to a hot body that you will use with someone who respects you when you dump the horrible git.

meeeeeeshel · 17/05/2025 22:39

I've lost 2.5 stone, kept it off for a year, and EVERY week I'm pre menstrual I have again no matter how good I've been. Water weight. Then lose it again post period easily. Women go through cycles, we aren't the same week in week out and that's a fact. He's being very unsupportive.
Do you have a support network? It's key to have that for your weight loss journey.

Tell him he needs to support you as he would with any other part of your life. Unless he doesn't support you in other areas?

S0j0urn4r · 17/05/2025 23:21

You've lost 10kg! Mexican wave in honour of you!!!
He can go screw himself 🙂

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