Does anyone still prepare their child lunchbox?

[AlertAndOrientated]

I know it’s expected that children should be fully capable of making their own lunch, and if they’re fully capable of making it then they should be doing it to practise independence.

I’m all for people being independent, however I have Neurodivergence in this household which has commonly resulted in a level of maturing faster than peers in one sense, but lagging far behind the another (usually practically).

The preparation of food is listed as a PIP descriptor and is recognised as a complex task sometimes made harder by mental or physical difficulties. I’ve been making lunch boxes because the pressure of other steps towards independence feel, at the moment, like we’ve reached maximum capacity. However, I’m thinking that the making of a lunchbox would be pushed towards the top of my priorities if it is neglectful of me to still be doing it. But if it’s something that other people are commonly doing by their own choice, often through no particular need, then I will allow something else to take the priority.

So I thought I’d ask around and see what people do, with or without Neurodivergence or physical challenges.

Mine made their own from year 4.

I do - my kids are 14 and 11. They’d both be capable, but me doing it makes the morning easier and less stressful. Maybe I spoil them but I like putting nice food in their lunchbox and knowing they’ve eaten well and enjoyed their lunch. My daughter’s told me about friends who pack their own lunch and bring just biscuits and crisps as they run out of time and throw in something from the cupboard. As long as they can prepare food at home, I honestly don’t think it matters who makes their lunch, whatever works best for your family.

I do both my boys lunchboxes - they are 15 and 18. I don't do DH's though - he can do his own

My 21 year old graduated onto making his own pack up for uni in his third year, although occasionally asked his dad to make it because "it's nice to have it delivered."

My left handed dyspraxic 15 year old can barely butter bread and make it look like buttered bread so it'll be a while yet for him.

I do my 11 a lunch box but my 16 yo does their own and has for a couple of years or so.

I guess I’d expect the younger one to do it from about 13.

I have a family, not a war zone with each side scoring points, or a bunch of flatmates living completely independent lives.

Yes I make my kids lunch box whatever the age, I even make DH lunch box from time to time.

It's just easier in the morning. As an adult, I am a lot more efficient in the morning than I was as a teen. As long as they are perfectly able to make theirs when I am not around, what's the big deal. I ask them to do things I can't be bothered to do, no one is keeping score.

Mine makes his own sandwiches, but DH packs it in the morning and double checks his bag. DS is 16 and ND. He could do it himself, but mornings are a challenge so tbh we do it for an easier life..

How old is your child?
6 years old then it’s fine but you might want them to start practicing sandwiches at the weekends/school holidays.
16 years old and likely to go to uni then they should be able to do it. It doesn’t have to be a sandwich but it’s a basic skill for uni. Meal deals are available but they are expensive and might not stock the preferred type

Mine are 15 and 17 and I do because otherwise they’d just take crisps.

My 8yo (NT) and 10yo (ND) are both capable of putting together a lunch and making their own breakfasts but I still do them. To be honest I’ve never thought that I shouldn’t, it’s just parenting?

ND 10yo would certainly find it challenging to manage alongside the general stress of readying himself for school.

My mum made my lunches all through secondary school and I managed to become an independent adult

I'm not at that stage yet but can I just say that life isn't a checkbox exercise, you presumably had kids to enjoy the process of having them as much as you can (fully recognising that it isnt easy).

So do you enjoy it? Do you feel like the task feels nurturing and makes you feel good? Sometimes we can forget these questions when we focus too much on helping our children develop.

My point is that it's OK to step back and think about how making their lunch makes you feel.

Oh, I should say our packed lunches are done the night before. I'd not expect my 9 and 12 year olds to put it in a morning routine, because I certainly can't at 40! They do theirs before I start dinner, so any mess made is cleaned up in the general kitchen clean up.
For the pp who said about kids throwing anything in. Mine have a set routine of what goes in and it's checked. They've never taken anything inappropriate.

@HotDogKetchup

I was about to say the same, although mine is 59 😆

My husband would eat a shit sandwich to save telling me he didn’t like my cooking/food prep 🤣

I sometimes make our 11 year old’s. It depends what he’s having.

He's 26 and yes 😆

My almost 6 year old could technically make her own but I do it for her. At weekends I get her to do things sometimes so she improves her knife skills etc. But I would lose the will to live if she had to do it daily. Fortunately she has mostly school dinners anyway.

I think there’s a difference between teaching technical skills and asking them to always do it. I don’t think primary age should have to take that much responsibility, perhaps year 6. At secondary I might have higher expectations.

My 9 & 11, both NT, do their own lunchboxes. There's nothing complicated going in, and I think its a task they can do towards building independance. I feel zero guilt about this, they other meals plated up to them on a daily basis, so this is no big deal!

Year 3?! That’s a bit extreme but each to their own I guess

I think in high school then yeah, they should be making their own. But primary school? That’s a bit mean. If you can’t have a sandwich made by your mum at primary school, when can you?!

I’ve always worked full time so time is of the essence, whether making the lunch in the morning or evening. Never had the energy or time to wait for a child faffing around with making their own at primary. Eldest at high school had school lunches and youngest will too I expect.