where do i go from here

[MyAquaGuide]

i have a 6 month old DD. Partner and i have been together 5 years. During covid he lost his job and since has been doing odd jobs which has been covering his monthly outgoings.

I live in his family property along with his Mum and Dad. Its a 6 bed and we have more than enough space. Its mortgage free and I do not contribute to bills but buy groceries, cook when i can etc.

when i met partner i thought he was financially literate. he has investment properties with a sibling. however i later found out hes in debt and has no savings. DD was unplanned and im on mat allowance. im paying for everything for her and starting to resent partner as im doing everything while he hardly changes nappies becase hes working all day.

i wnt the best for DD and dont want to live with MIL and FIL anymore. the arrangement was meeant to be temporary but now im thinking its best to be a single mum. what do i do

If he works all day and has no bills besides some groceries, where does his income go?

i buy the groceries. he pays for some of the bills in the house along with FIL and SIL, His money also goes towards his many repayments for loans, credit cards

do you have a job? do you have the potential to earn enough to support yourself and your child?

if so, start planning to move out. build up your savings. build up your skills. think long term and take steps to make your life better.

i think i can do it but i feel stupid that im in this position. i had a baby with someone knowing they had no savings and debts when i have a clear credit score and over 70k in savings.

what on earth was i thinking?

People often underestimate the importance of financial compatibility in a relationship.

I'd suggest either he let's you help manage his finances so he can pay off his debts ASAP or if he isn't willing then consider walking away.

Don’t feel like you are stupid or this is your fault. You didn’t know he had all this debt and would be so hopeless.

make a plan for your future. How long will it take for you to save enough for you & dd to move out?

I'm guessing that living rent and bill free with his parents has helped you to save some of that 70k though?

Look at the long term. Could you afford to buy somewhere when you go back to work? Or if you are really desperate to leave ASAP, then look at renting somewhere.