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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think people applying for hybrid roles while living nowhere near the office - then refusing to come in - are part of why the job market feels so broken right now?

187 replies

YourRealMauveSnake · 15/05/2025 12:45

I keep seeing jobs advertised as hybrid (e.g. 1-2 days in the office) but loads of people applying clearly have no intention of ever commuting. It clogs up the process for people who actually can attend in person and probably makes employers less flexible overall. Is this just me being petty or is it actually a thing?

OP posts:
TorroFerney · 15/05/2025 15:52

YourRealMauveSnake · 15/05/2025 12:59

Fair but it still affects real candidates when a hiring process gets flooded with people who don’t intend to follow the basic terms (like showing up in person). I agree that automation hasn’t helped but I don’t think it excuses applicants gaming the system either. Both things can be true.

People have always lied it’s not new, it’s just a new thing to lie about.

and it doesn’t need hr to reply to the other poster it just needs a recruiting manager who can read and knows that if their job is in Manchester then a candidate living in Devon is probably not going to work

LittleBitofBread · 15/05/2025 15:52

Frequency · 15/05/2025 14:44

I've found most companies won't offer an interview unless you live within x miles, to be honest. That is why it irritates me so much. I'm sick of getting rejection emails that read, "We're really impressed with your experience/qualifications, etc., but this is a hybrid role, and you live outside our hiring area. We will keep your CV on file for any remote opportunities." One of the companies was literally opposite my sister's front door. It would have taken me less than 30 seconds to walk to the office from my bedroom.

I've also been turned down after interviews for more local roles because I'm not yet driving, and the interviewer decided that my commute would be "too much". This was despite my being very clear in the interview (because I was asked repeatedly about it) that I was fine with the travel time and was learning to drive anyway.

Did you make clear in your application that your sister lived so close? And do you make clear when applying for jobs in Leeds, Derby or Nottingham that you'd be able to stay there too?

MrsSunshine2b · 15/05/2025 15:53

Zanatdy · 15/05/2025 15:08

Just because you can do your role at home doesn’t mean no requirement to go in. Who do you think your DC will learn a role from when everyone is working in their bedroom? We are seeing the consequences of that with poor quality, knowledge etc. I’d have struggled hugely in the early years without learning from those office conversations etc

Have you not yet been introduced to Teams, phones, or emails? I've had no trouble being trained or training others in my WFH role.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 15/05/2025 15:54

MrsSunshine2b · 15/05/2025 15:52

It absolutely makes them a better employer, which will be reflected in the fact they'll get more applicants and better talent for roles they advertise.

Not true. How would you know that sort of info when you're applying? Unless you already know someone there.

IwasDueANameChange · 15/05/2025 15:55

I've started not inviting people to interview if they live too far away because we've had so many issues with this.

We hired 3 people last year all of whom swore they were happy to commute 3 days, despite living a couple of hours away.

They now won't fucking come in. Its annoying, we've got juniors who need to learn from them. They do 2 days in a (rare) good week, 1 day is more typical. They don't come at all some weeks.

IcedPurple · 15/05/2025 15:55

MrsSunshine2b · 15/05/2025 15:52

It absolutely makes them a better employer, which will be reflected in the fact they'll get more applicants and better talent for roles they advertise.

I'm not sure how having a job with certain requirements makes you a 'better' employer than someone without those requirements.

And these days there is rarely a shortage of applicants and 'talent' for most jobs, so they'll likely have no trouble finding plenty of 'talented' candidates.

ConkerGame · 15/05/2025 15:55

boatface25 · 15/05/2025 14:41

Your evidence assumes that 1. everyone is employed by a FTSE 100 company, and 2. the WFH policies are wholly CEO lead. I'd dispute both those statements.

No of course not but FTSE companies lead the way. And damn sure there’s no “in the office” policies that aren’t 100 per cent supported by the CEO. They literally lead the culture of the company

skymagentatwo · 15/05/2025 15:56

StepAwayFromGoogling · 15/05/2025 15:54

Not true. How would you know that sort of info when you're applying? Unless you already know someone there.

Its completely true, just because your narrow minded views don't agree does not make it untrue, my long standing workforce with extremely low turn over says otherwise.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 15/05/2025 16:00

skymagentatwo · 15/05/2025 15:56

Its completely true, just because your narrow minded views don't agree does not make it untrue, my long standing workforce with extremely low turn over says otherwise.

Edited

Not at all what you said!: which will be reflected in the fact they'll get more applicants and better talent for roles they advertise.
You're getting attraction and retention confused.
And name-calling is infantile.

Parker231 · 15/05/2025 16:00

IwasDueANameChange · 15/05/2025 15:55

I've started not inviting people to interview if they live too far away because we've had so many issues with this.

We hired 3 people last year all of whom swore they were happy to commute 3 days, despite living a couple of hours away.

They now won't fucking come in. Its annoying, we've got juniors who need to learn from them. They do 2 days in a (rare) good week, 1 day is more typical. They don't come at all some weeks.

Hopefully they are now being put through a PIP for failure to comply with their terms of employment?

skymagentatwo · 15/05/2025 16:04

StepAwayFromGoogling · 15/05/2025 16:00

Not at all what you said!: which will be reflected in the fact they'll get more applicants and better talent for roles they advertise.
You're getting attraction and retention confused.
And name-calling is infantile.

🙄Should you not be back in the office ushering in all your colleagues and ticking the register.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 15/05/2025 16:05

skymagentatwo · 15/05/2025 16:04

🙄Should you not be back in the office ushering in all your colleagues and ticking the register.

Edited

Where on earth have you got that from?!

Zanatdy · 15/05/2025 16:10

MrsSunshine2b · 15/05/2025 15:53

Have you not yet been introduced to Teams, phones, or emails? I've had no trouble being trained or training others in my WFH role.

It’s not the same as face to face interaction, listening to other work conversations, and the proof is in the pudding for us. Home working does not help new recruits and it’s pretty selfish for all those who benefitted from that to now refuse to go in. All those in my team do themselves no favours when it comes to progression.

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 15/05/2025 16:11

Zanatdy · 15/05/2025 15:08

Just because you can do your role at home doesn’t mean no requirement to go in. Who do you think your DC will learn a role from when everyone is working in their bedroom? We are seeing the consequences of that with poor quality, knowledge etc. I’d have struggled hugely in the early years without learning from those office conversations etc

That feels like a weird argument, because where I grew up, remote work was very common (even in the 90s).

And we learned from our parents how to conduct yourself at work. That mum's office isn't to be disturbed. That this is how she manages official mail etc. That today we're all hanging out at one person's house and tomorrow the parents will swap because they're all working remotely through the summer holidays.

I learned far more about management and motivation from my mum who worked at home than my dad who worked in an office - until he went remote, that is.

Loub1987 · 15/05/2025 16:13

I think part of the problem is that often roles are advertised as hybrid (2 - 3 days in the office), but in reality this isn’t a requirement or expectation. My current role was advertised as 2 days in the office (which I was fully willing to do) but there is absolutely no expectation for me to be in. I think I last went in 3 months ago.

Frequency · 15/05/2025 16:13

LittleBitofBread · 15/05/2025 15:52

Did you make clear in your application that your sister lived so close? And do you make clear when applying for jobs in Leeds, Derby or Nottingham that you'd be able to stay there too?

I have, in some cases, where I have had the opportunity to upload a cover letter or provide existing details; however, some only asked for my CV and then had a series of tick boxes to complete.

I do think I should be treated as an adult, though, and if I tick a box that states I am aware it is a hybrid role, and another box to state I can reliably commute it is because I am aware it is a hybrid role, and I can reliably commute. My employer doesn't need any more details than that.

Plus, surely, if I want to travel 3 hours there and 3 hours back because I have decided a role is worth the commute for whatever reason, that is my choice, is it not?

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 15/05/2025 16:13

StepAwayFromGoogling · 15/05/2025 15:51

Which is fair if you've raised that at interview. We are three days in the office - no ifs, no buts, no negotiation. But the amount of people that go through the whole recruitment process reiterating at EVERY stage that they can meet the location requirements and hours of work only to try to negotiate at offer stage is INFURIATING. Why would we make an exception for you when every other member of the business is in 3 days? AND we've already checked in with you a thousand times in the interview process. Agggghhhh.

But they do it then for exactly the same reason as you find it infuriating - they have a lot more leverage then than they had during the interview process. It makes perfect sense as a tactic for them.

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 15/05/2025 16:15

ConkerGame · 15/05/2025 15:55

No of course not but FTSE companies lead the way. And damn sure there’s no “in the office” policies that aren’t 100 per cent supported by the CEO. They literally lead the culture of the company

I disagree. There are loads of different employment niches.

Tech is rife with home working. Small businesses aren't there "following the lead" of the FTSE100 (indeed, it would be rather stupid of them to ape an entirely different business model). Numerous charities not only can cut costs by WFH, they can also accommodate workers with limited capacity which is often part of their mission. Heck, I was bloody annoyed to be told I needed to be suited and booted by a small business to meet our FTSE100 partner, when they were all in cami tops and sandals.

It's a very inaccurate view of the working world to think FTSE100 is that influential.

LittleBitofBread · 15/05/2025 16:16

Frequency · 15/05/2025 16:13

I have, in some cases, where I have had the opportunity to upload a cover letter or provide existing details; however, some only asked for my CV and then had a series of tick boxes to complete.

I do think I should be treated as an adult, though, and if I tick a box that states I am aware it is a hybrid role, and another box to state I can reliably commute it is because I am aware it is a hybrid role, and I can reliably commute. My employer doesn't need any more details than that.

Plus, surely, if I want to travel 3 hours there and 3 hours back because I have decided a role is worth the commute for whatever reason, that is my choice, is it not?

I don't disagree that ideally a potential employer would assume that you know what you're doing. However, I'd imagine that, for some of the reasons discussed on here, many are cautious about progressing an application from anyone who doesn't immediately seem like they tick the boxes (and yes, I know that 'ticking boxes' is a problematic method when it comes to applying and recruiting).

StepAwayFromGoogling · 15/05/2025 16:20

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 15/05/2025 16:13

But they do it then for exactly the same reason as you find it infuriating - they have a lot more leverage then than they had during the interview process. It makes perfect sense as a tactic for them.

But it's a really risky tactic. We have great candidates apply for our roles. It's a very high level of arrogance to assume you are so special that we'll give you benefits no other colleagues get, that we've checked repeatedly you don't need! Worst case scenario you lose out on the role. Depends how important it is for you, I guess.

dimsiaradcymraeg · 15/05/2025 16:24

AndorTheRelentless · 15/05/2025 13:17

Why do people need to be in for 3 days a week?

Smacks of "we've paid for an office, so you have to use it" Some of us dont want to waste around 10 hours a week (hour in and hour out) traveling

To meet with clients?! A huge part of our job is client facing - face to face. It’s brilliant. Hate the amount of Teams and Zooms calls we had to endure in lockdown. Why would anyone want to do that on a regular basis?!

AnonymousBleep · 15/05/2025 16:25

YourRealMauveSnake · 15/05/2025 14:39

That’s the ideal scenario, yes, and in some cases it does happen. But in reality, not all hiring managers enforce probation terms consistently, especially when they’re under pressure to fill roles or reluctant to go through the recruitment cycle all over again. What I’ve noticed is a growing pattern of people applying to hybrid roles with the hope or assumption that the in-office bit won’t be enforced - some even say so directly in interviews. So while it should be filtered out, the misalignment is still getting through and that’s where the frustration builds - for both the team and aligned candidates.

I still think that's odd. It's not a candidate's market any more - unless you're in engineering - so candidates don't get to call the shots. On Linkedin, in my industry, vacancies are getting hundreds of applications, so I find it odd that any hirer would be so desperate to fill a role that they'd take someone who made it clear in their interview that they had no intention of fulfilling the role as described.

Frequency · 15/05/2025 16:27

LittleBitofBread · 15/05/2025 16:16

I don't disagree that ideally a potential employer would assume that you know what you're doing. However, I'd imagine that, for some of the reasons discussed on here, many are cautious about progressing an application from anyone who doesn't immediately seem like they tick the boxes (and yes, I know that 'ticking boxes' is a problematic method when it comes to applying and recruiting).

I understand that, it's just frustrating when you're applying and being constantly rejected for reasons that don't actually apply to you.

I've just been offered and accepted a job earlier today, so hopefully my frustrations are over now.

Ironically, due to shitty local transport links, despite it being a 20 minute drive, it is going to take me 2 hours each way on public transport. It would only have taken 90 minutes to travel to Leeds via public transport.

They seem to have a really good team dynamic and progression opportunities, so I have decided the travel will be worth it until I pass my driving test.

ObelixtheGaul · 15/05/2025 16:28

AndorTheRelentless · 15/05/2025 13:17

Why do people need to be in for 3 days a week?

Smacks of "we've paid for an office, so you have to use it" Some of us dont want to waste around 10 hours a week (hour in and hour out) traveling

Then you wouldn't apply for a job there, surely?

I think all of this is part of a general trend of people taking jobs they know perfectly well they can't/don't want to do the hours and expecting the employers to give in to pressure once they've got their feet under the table.

Rewis · 15/05/2025 16:32

Sounds like the managent should be stricter with enforcing the office days. Someone tries to negotiate less tome in office. Say no. Someone not coming in required amount for time, call them out. If they have reason then tell them to come in for 4 days the following week etc.

That being said. My bf is one of these people. He had the intention to come in 2 days a week and the first month he did. He was actually looking forward to having some human interaction. But nobody spoke to him in the office besides saying hello when he walks past. Everyone has lunch/coffee breaks sat the desk. Team meetings are on teams even if everyone is at the office. So he basically goes there to sit alone at his desk and then goes home. I can't really blame him for pushing the boundary.

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