How do you live with someone who’s always a different temperature to you?

[funnytimesandgin]

Dh is permanently hot, wears shorts all year round and if he had his way we wouldn’t ever have the heating on in winter because he’s never that cold.
I am quite the opposite and with the exception of a heatwave or really nice weather I’m usually cold and made uncomfortable by him having the window open and the fan on.
Until now Dh has worked out of the house and I wfh so in cooler months I’d have the heating on in the day and he’d come home later on and complain it’s hot and open all the windows making the home cold again.
Now he’s starting wfh on a Thursday and while I was a comfortable temperature he’s now put a fan on causing a cold draft and opened all the windows making me uncomfortable.
Aibu to think we are just not compatible as I am unusually cold all the time and he’s the complete opposite and is unnaturally hot always.

That does sound tricky.

With regard to you working from home, can you at least have some sort of heating on in the room you are in? Or do you work somewhere central?

Whilst I too would hate to have what I see as a stuffy, hot house I do think it is rude to go around opening all the windows and putting a fan on without discussion!

Have you talked together to try and think of a compromise?

Can you zone the house a bit, so your working area is warm and his cooler?

They do say heat the person not the room, so perhaps some lovely thermals and silk vests etc for summer, and a heated blanket for colder moments.

DH and I have very different perceptions of temperature. We share an office and we both mainly WFH.

i wear more layers of clothes than him. We tend to not put the heating during the day to save energy. We just put it on for an hour every morning and evening and maybe an extra hour or two occasionally when it's really cold.

I have lots of thick wool jumpers and long wool cardigans to wear over the jumpers in cold weather. And merino base layers (tops and leggings) under everything.

I think it's much easier to warm yourself up with clothing than it is to cool yourself down, so like others have said I'd suggest that you move into better layering.

Wear base layers, wear fingerless gloves, pop a wooly hat on, use a heated gilet or heated throw over you.

When I WFH in winter I don't put the heating on in the day and employ all these tactics to keep warm, including hot drinks in thermal mugs throughout the day, as I find in unnecessary to heat the house when I'm in one spot all day- I have recently bought a heated blanket to use too.

How about taking it in turns to choose the temperature. One day your choice, the next day his. With the proviso that you don't make the other person ill. Or just work in different rooms and alternate who gets the "best" one.

Yes I agree that it’s easier to warm up than cool down so I would be okay with the house being on cooler side as long as I wore more layers, heated blanket, etc. Do you use certain rooms each of you more than the other? You could adjust the radiator TRvs in certain rooms, or we have smart radiator thermostats so can heat rooms to certain temps on diff days, different tikes of day etc to suit our schedule.

Agree - keep the house as warm as the hot person can stand and Wear more clothes and move around more

We get too used to pandering to these man babies who can't regulate themselves.

Why do they think they should have everything their way all the time?

We have constant battles about it. DH would turn down the heating etc as soon as he walked in the front door.

I developed asthma after covid a few years ago and since then breathing cold air is painful and difficult for me.

Even then DH would eventually complain about the heating that it put me off turning it up to an effective level.

But then I got pneumonia and was hospitalised for a week.

Now he doesn't complain at all and will go stand at the back door if he's too hot instead of making me cold by opening windows.

He is learning to tolerate the discomfort he experiences instead of automatically reacting like a baby would.

And I'm learning to assert my own needs better, I am as valid a human as he is!

Heating only on in your office area.
Electric blanket for your office.
Wear heavier clothes - wools, sheepskin boots etc.

Heat you and the room you're in not the whole house.

Also, see the GP and check your vitamin levels and thyroid function.

My mum is permanently cold but swans about in thin tops and trousers with nothing on her feet then demands the heating is set to 24c. It's unbearable to stay there.

wear more clothes.