Cannot remember most of my teens and 20's - is this normal?

[Shemantine]

Just that really. I did have a few traumatic events (death of parent, I was groomed as a young teenager, remaining parent emotionally unavailable), but a comment from my brother the other evening made me realise how little of my youth I can recall.

I cannot remember much at all from the ages of 14 - 27. How normal is that? I have flashes of memory, and I can remember things like my favourite doll or food or something, but little else.

My memory from 30 years onwards is much better. Could I recover memories at this age (49?) and should I even try to?

P.s. I should add that I've never taken drugs or misused alcohol, so no related memory loss factors there!

Hi there I’m no expert but I think most people do have more recollections than you mention. If you decide to look into it, I would recommend getting the support of a therapist, since it may be that it’s your brain’s way of protecting you from some painful feelings. Are you in a good place these days and do you have support around you?

Similar here. I have very few childhood memories compared to most other people. Mine wasn't a particularly happy childhood. As an adult, I drank quite a lot. I've got no chance of writing my autobiography!

I've been told by multiple therapists that it would be unwise and unhelpful to attempt 'recovery' of memories or regression. I'm not even sure they're allowed to do it any more, mainly because the memories you reclaim aren't guaranteed to be real. The mind protects itself in odd ways, sometimes.

I did, though, do a lot of inner child work with my therapists. This helped to integrate my childhood self with the adult I am now, and to make sense of some things that were and are confusing.

My brother sometimes wants to talk about childhood recollections and I have to tell him I don't remember. We can still talk about them, though! I might recall one or two tiny details as he's telling me, and that helps to put things in context.

I can remember my teenage years qI can remember fun times!My childhood is quite fuzzy but when I go back to the village my memories are spot on.

I can remember loads of things, my brother has very few memories at all. He doesn’t remember people he went to college with, he knows he got his qualifications but barely remembers. No trauma. So it is possible, but perhaps seek some counselling.

Similar, I can remember few specific incidents under the age of ten and only a handful from teens, twenties I’m better on but I had my kids and took a lot of photos. .

im autistic and don’t have a visual memory I don’t know if that makes a difference

I have more memories of my teens / twenties than my 30’s and 40’s. I think as I probably did more exciting things when younger. One of my childhood best friends has such an amazing memory, if ever I am trying to remember something specific, I ask her.

Well, I'd say that that particular period of life goes by mostly in such a frantic blur, with one experience after another colliding that it's only when you try to reflect on those experiences it suddenly hits you how difficult it can be, or how much you have subconsciously 're-written'.

Maybe it's best not to look back too often.

Mine isn’t great. I remember things in terms of major things I did (festivals, holidays, workplaces etc) but often not the finer details or the timelines. I could tell you who I dated in my 20s but not in what order I dated them nor for how long. I can tell you I went skiing and who with but not in what year. There are entire people I knew missing until someone else mentions them or a Facebook memory pops up. No trauma, but I did drink a lot