To allow DS girlfriend to house sit

[Aliceisagooddog]

My husband and I disagree about this. We are going away in the summer and my DS 20 year old girlfriend has offered to house sit and look after pets. I am fine with this. DH is worried about a non family member being in our house. We don't know her very well, but she is sensible. Who is being unreasonable?

Presumably she’s offering to do this because she won’t have anywhere else to live over the summer? So it would be a kindness to her to let her house sit?

I recall being in a similar position at around that age. It wasn’t unusual for me to have to rely on my bf’s parents’ hospitality. Unless she’s very odd indeed it’s highly unlikely that she’ll have any interest in breaking into your filing cabinets or searching your bedside drawers - your husband can relax on that front. But young people can be a bit heedless, so it would be wise to leave written instructions about how you expect the house to be kept.

my only concern is that you are relying on them not breaking up. Would you have an alternative arrangement on standby if that happened and she was no longer on the scene

I think he’s being unreasonable. Lots of pay people pay complete strangers to house and pet sit while they’re away. What’s he worried about exactly?

She is family but our 19 year old niece is going to do the same for us this summer. She’s a sensible girl, a few months younger than I was when I moved to another country on my own.

I agree with your DH.

There are potential issues if she's no longer your DS' gf by summer, you don't actually know her very well, and if anything goes wrong in the house you'll have additional stress.

What is your husband suggesting as an alternative?

Is your DS going away too?

I agree it's risky, in case your DS and his GF break up. What's the alternative? Do you have a family member able to step in? If not, get the pets booked in to cattery/kennels now, as summer will already be busy. If you go ahead with the GF, I'd personally lock away any sensitive paperwork, just in case she gets the urge to have a nose around.

Is your DS booked to go away with you?

Thanks for replies so far. Yes DS is coming on holiday. They have been together for 2 years so not really worried about break up. She lives near by so would be doing it as a favour. I think we should pay her a bit as well? Otherwise very expensive pet care and my pets are quite nervous, like being at home.

They’ve been together 2 years, she lives nearby yet you don’t know her very well so use this as the opportunity to improve your relationship with her and get to know her better!

Why don’t you know her very well if she’s been with your DS for 2 years?

Sounds ideal. I used to house sit for my much older colleague when I was in my late teens/early 20s - I lived at home so a house to myself was bliss. Your husband is looking a gift horse in the mouth.

She has been your son’s gf for two years - and your husband is reluctant to leave her alone in your house?

What is it about her that he deems untrustworthy? Is she a drug addict or a notorious local thief? Might she use your house to film unsavoury material for her SM accounts? Do she and your son have a gang of drunken friends?

I certainly don’t think you can guarantee their continued relationship - she needs to agree to fulfil the house sitting regardless of whether they’re still together by then.

My only concern would be if they break up before the holiday and leave you completely stuffed in terms of finding care for your animals.

Being together two years doesn’t mean anything really.

What do you usually do when you go on holiday?

Sounds ideal then. Someone you know and trust in your house rather than a complete stranger. And yes, you should pay her something obviously but it will be much cheaper than using professionnals.

Your husband is being daft.
She's an adult, she's not a stranger and your pets will be a lot happier at home than in a kennel or cattery. And yes you should leave her some nice food in the fridge and a bottle of wine.

Neither of you is being unreasonable. Having someone in the house while you are away is a big thing and can feel uncomfortable . But kennels etc is expensive and probably not what your pets would prefer. Get your husband to book the alternative etc if he feels strongly about it.

All helpful no? My daughter's boyfriend house and dogs sits if we are all away too

If your husband has known her for two years, and yet he is not comfortable with her doing this (for whatever reason), then I would not force the issue. Because that is what I would expect him to do for me if I felt that way.

Pay her so it is an obligation and she feels a tie- then she is less likely to drop out if she gets a better offer. Maybe look at upgrading to a ring doorbell between now and then.