Does your child get invited to sleepovers?

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My daughter is 12 and has only ever been invited to one sleepover with friends (not including family). We’ve had kids over to ours but it’s never been reciprocated.

I hear of other children having them all the time and she’s desperate to go to one but the invites never come. Her friendships are always in a wide circle and she has never found that one best friend and it’s something I worry about daily.
Would you at least expect the kids she’s had sleepover to return the invite?

She’s very sweet, good fun, caring and kind and very energetic but I worry that some of these traits might get on other kids nerves?

Very energetic, that’s probably why. Can you give examples?

Funnily enough, I was chatting to another parent today about how sleep overs seem to be less of a thing these days when I was growing up. Both my kids (10 and 13) have good friendship groups but have probably been to less than 4 sleepovers between them ever. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest because it means I don’t have to host one in return! They both do plenty of other things with their friends and never mention missing out on sleepovers.

The other parents was mentioning that their kids never go on sleepovers either.

My DD is having a sleepover for her birthday and I've said girls only - but none of her year seem to be having parties at all (usually she thinks of 10 friends to invite but only gets invited to 2 or 3 but this year it's zero - she's in Y6).

I think she's just generally friendly and others are doing a treat with one friend. Maybe it's a personality difference?

Dd1(14) has been to one sleepover either end of year 7 or beginning of year 8 she's had some tricky times with friendships though. Dd2 (12) hasn't been to any always part of a group of girls at school though and a solid best friend since about year 3/4.

They have had sleepovers with their cousins though, who are similar in age, just slightly older.

If the other girls have been invited to sleepovers and she hasn’t, it’s probably because the parents can’t afford to invite everyone so asked their daughters to pick a few ‘good’ friends and for whatever reason your daughter has been left out. Alternatively if you’ve never hosted a sleepover you can’t expect to be invited to one because parents will rarely invite children they don’t know / whose parents they don’t know.

Yes but only with one other family - kids same age and very best friends with ours, us parents are friends too.

I would be very reluctant to agree to going to a sleepover at a school friend’s house as I don’t know the parents well enough, if they have dogs etc. I’d have them over here though. To answer your question, no never had an invite outside of that very best friend.

The kids are 7 & 10 and oldest first had a sleepover around 5 which I was reluctant about but it was also a bit of a childcare situation as well and then the other parents felt needed to/wanted to reciprocate. Then it was fun and they happen maybe once every school holiday max.

She's only had a sleepover with next door and her cousin.
Not invited by her friends no. I'm not really worried though no

I have hosted a few and mine haven't been invited back. Some don't have the from, or their partner works shifts. Some Luke them coming to me as no men in n house.

I don't mind as I don't like them and prefer them to be at mine

Mine does (8). Mainly with the same 3 or 4 families we know well. We parents use it as babysitting for nights out etc and it is fairly reciprocal

It can be hard work for the parents though, always the worry that you'll get a non sleeper!

When they are younger, invitations come from the parents, not the child.
How close are you to parents? We started by inviting friends, but whose parents were our friends too if that makes sense. (also safer)

At 12, it might depend on the group of friends.

From that age, my kids sleepover seem to be much more last minute.

My ds10 hasn’t been invited to any nor hosted any. He has no interest either but that might be because he already goes between my house and his dad’s. People say it’s mainly a girl thing, not sure how true that is.

I was always going to sleepovers as a teenager but I never reciprocated any after the age of about 12 because I had a difficult home life that I didn’t want any of my friends seeing. I do wonder now what their parents thought, I feel guilty looking back.

It’s not a bad thing that your dd has a wide circle, I agree that other parents have set the maximum number of girls to invite due to cost/space and your dd hasn’t made the final list.

Let her host one and the others will likely reciprocate

I think sleepovers are much less common these days. People have smaller houses, have to work more, are more stressed about being in charge of other people's kids overnight. The children I know who are having sleepovers are the ones where there is a close friendship between the parents and they've been in and out of each other's houses for years. Parents are much more wary about sending their kids off with a wave or hosting unfamiliar kids these days.

I don't remember DD (now mid 20s) going to many sleepovers, only a handful for birthdays, we only hosted once (for DD's birthday) as she wasn't that fussed. There was a mix of socio backgrounds at her school and I only knew a few parents (I worked)

Do you know any parents? I'd never invite a child who's parents I didn't know very well. Too much could go wrong!

My dds host and go to sleepovers often. I encourage and prompt them a lot. They are teens but the friends who sleep here often are primary friends. They get invited plenty but dd1 is usually the host for the 15 year olds because outer house is bigger.

If we go through friendship wobbles I encourage them to be brave and keep inviting people over. Dd1 is a bit weird about it but I will push her and now she has a new friend with lovely patents that lives a few streets over.