To just feel totally flat and fed up with life

[miniworry]

I'm a mum to two gorgeous children ages 4 and 14 months who I am so thankful for, but I just can't get myself out of a rut of feeling 'meh' with life.

I have a stressful job working full time as an assistant head in a school, but I've even lost any motivation there too and just find myself procrastinating on my phone at work, scrolling away when the work is piling up.

The house is a tip, but I have no desire to want to clean it because I'm just exhausted- the wheel of mon-Fri and not getting home until 6 then the chaos of dinner, bath bed means I just get into bed myself at 8once the kids are down and my husband and I just scroll on our phones until we fall asleep . We are both feeling this way and whilst we love each other very much, we are just so tapped out of life.

I wake up totally exhausted still, not helped by DS still getting up twice per night, and then I feel the wheel starts again.

I don't feel 'sad'- I just feel completely flat. I am on sertraline for postnatal anxiety but I wouldn't say I feel depressed.

Does anyone else feel like this or can offer some advice? I just want my zest for life back!

I should add all my bloods are fine too so no particular deficiencies!

Yep! Have no money - barely scraping by just now. Trying to start a business which I’ve poured lots of time and money into - only to be told by someone who I’ve been doing a business course with. That they don’t think it’s marketable.
I have about 10 stone to loose and have been on weight loss jabs but can’t afford them anymore so my weight is going back up.
Cant sleep for more than 3hrs.
My cleaner is leaving next week to. I have ADHD and she is the only way I have managed to keep my house remotely in order. I can’t afford a cleaner but it’s a necessity for me to function.
Thats just the tip of the iceberg tbh. I am so completely done just now.

I hope things improve for you soon

@businessflop25 it broke my heart to read his and I'm so sorry you feel the same way! Sending you lots of love and please don't give up on your business! May I ask what the business is that they don't think is marketable?

This is burnout I’d say? Have a Google about strategies to deal with it?

I agree with a poster above that burnout is a possibility, but also so is depression. (Edited to add: 'feeling flat' is a common presentation of depression, read the Mind website for more info). It would be good to speak to your GP.

If you were to call it 'exhaustion' in the meantime, then the ways to help that are all related to self care. If you're scrolling on your phone you are going to miss nothing if you go to sleep earlier. Take baths, watch or read anything you enjoy. Make your food vitamin heavy but simple.

You will bounce back, but don't pressure yourself.

Thank you so much for your comments, I'd never considered burnout.

Will make an appointment with the GP but I really don't want to medicate any more, if anything I'd like to come off my sertraline I had for postpartum anxiety so will look at some self help tips!

It’s activity product based business for people with dementia.
needed but not marketable apparently 🤷🏻‍♀️

I understand you completely. I feel very flat for periods of time then seem to be ok (ish!). I think the realisation I’ve had today (during a ‘flat’ period) is that no one is going to do for me what I do for them. I have a massive deadline to be cracking on with yet am in the kitchen cooking tea and cleaning up while everyone else in this house relaxes and ignores it all. It makes me feel so angry and view them all as thoughtless. It’s also not sad as such just like I’ve checked out and am still going through the motions!

Life in school and with two young children is hard. So what you need to get through that part! Other parts are hard but in a different way and your children will be more independent in the not too distant future so it does get slightly easier for a while!

I feel the same. Scraping through the days but no motivation, the job i once loved i couldn't give two hoots about, DH is away with work a fair amount so my evenings are invariably me being stuck in the house by myself. Id love to change careers and have always dreamt of moving abroad for a better lifestyle, but doubt that'll be possible now. Tomorrow is a new (same old same old) day as they say.

Leave teaching - it was the only thing that helped me. I was assistant head and got very similar to you. It’s a trauma response. I’m working full time in another sector, nothing to do with education and I’ve got my life back. Longer days, longer commute, no holidays but still far better work life balance than I had before. In a senior position too - teaching breaks you and functional burnout is something you learn to live with. You don’t have to.

Do you and your husband share the night wakings? That’s hugely significant. If you’re always the one then you need to address that.

I know of only a couple of parent-friends where both parents work in full-time jobs with very young children. I think what you are feeling is normal and understandable for the amount of work you are faced with both domestically and professionally.

I worked 3 days a week from when DD was 6 months old and that was hard enough with the sleep disruption. Then hours gradually increased until I was almost full time for a year when she was 3, and I burned out. It was too much, I was stressed all of the time, I felt like a useless parent and was also dropping balls at work. I was getting viral illnesses all the time. I made a lot of changes then to my life. I dropped down to just 24 hours a week, my boss hired someone to help me, I started exercising 3 hours a week non-negotiably and I joined a hobby one evening a week.

I had to save my sanity - life will only have meaning and joy in it if you carve out that time for yourself. My energy levels are shit if I don't exercise. I realised I'd rather have less money and better mental health than more money and burn out.