Im a 30 year old mum to a 3 year old. I have no qualifications and the only type of job that I can do are unskilled jobs. Since I have had my son, I haven't had any job stability because between me and my DH, I mainly do all the childcare and if my son is sick, I tend to be the one to take the day off work. Jobs around my area require weekend work which I can't do. My husband is a skilled worker and he earns 2k/month (take home pay). He works 8:30am-6:30pm on average and always has to work weekends which means I stay at home on weekends to look after our son.
At the beginning of this year, I applied for a job at our local supermarket to do night shifts and it pays about 2k/month (take home pay). I work nights from 9pm-6am Monday-Friday which means my weekend starts on Saturday mornings. I chose this because realistically, I can do this job without worrying about taking time off during Bank Holidays, Half terms, when my son is sick, etc. because my husband will be at home to look after our son. Furthermore, I don't have to work weekends and this job isn't dependent on the season so I know that I will be working the contracted hours everyday.
The issue I am having now is this: It's exhausting what I do and I don't get to spend time with my family because Im either sleeping, working, or catching up on things that have been left behind all week like chores, shopping, etc. My wage alone pays for the monthly rent, loan repayments, insurance and the nursery fees. The rest of the bills comes out of my husband's account and we end up having about £600 left to put towards savings and personal spending money. It's not bad and its nice to have money to spend when we do get to spend time as a family but it's not very often.
Im now considering whether or not to give up my job and apply for a Monday-Friday job that pays minimum wage. I'll get paid £1.7k (with tax deducted) rather than my usual 2k/month but Im very hesitant because that's a lot of money gone that could potentially go towards buying a house/going on holidays/doing house repairs/emergency funds/etc. With 1.7k, take away the other monthly bills which my husband pays, and we will be left about £200-300 to put towards savings and personal spending. Honestly, Im not keen on it because I'd rather know that we are financially stable than struggle to make ends meet month by month. Society is telling me that spending time with family is more important because I wont get the time back with my family but my brain is telling me that I need to be realistic and work because if I don't, where is the money going to come from? Im not on benefits other than tax free childcare and monthly child allowance (£109/month) and my husband and I have no family to support us. Were on our own.
Whenever I see families with two or three kids, I always ask myself, 'How do they make it work? How can they afford to have these kids and pay the bills when Im already struggling with only one kid? I don't think it's wrong of me to choose my career over my family but I do know that choosing a career over family can drastically change things for either the better or the worse in relationships. I just don't know how that will turn out for me. I love my husband and I love my son and that is what drives me to work hard but I miss them.