I think it’s more that I need to make sure I’m doing the right thing by DD. DD has SEN and is very timid and quiet. I have a submissive personality and I would say DD does too. I tend to say ‘yes’ to please others.
DD has 1 close friend who also has SEN. Friend can get easily upset and tends to dominate/lead the play. My DD often has to stop or change what she is doing so as not to upset friend. The Mum of friend also likes to lead - and seems very uncomfortable if I suggest anything.
A couple of things happened recently:
- DD friends Mum told another Mum that my DD doesn’t ‘stretch’ her DD enough with her language/play
- friend got upset with my DD for ‘looking at her’ when my DD tried to make her feel better. My DD just stared at the ground.
In other ways, my DD gets so much out of the friendship. Both children have SEN, so I don’t know if I need to make more allowances.
Except I don’t feel the friends Mum really acknowledges the impact on my DD when she’s told ‘don’t look at me’ or that DD is ‘not allowed to win’ incase it upsets the friend. She tends to let her DD take control rather than challenging any behaviour that might impact others.