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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague reported me for phone usage - awkward!!

158 replies

AmyRuby · 14/05/2025 17:34

I work in a fairly large office and there’s a very much ‘common sense’ approach to personal phone usage. No one sits at their desk and takes lengthy personal calls, but management accept there will be times people need to check/use their phones briefly and that for anything longer, they’ll step away from their desk or wait for breaks and lunch.

I had my 1:1 with my Manager today who told me that someone has reported to her that I’ve conversed with delivery drivers using my ring doorbell whilst at my desk - I simply say ‘please leave that round the side’ if no one’s in. I try to schedule deliveries for my WFH days but can’t always control that so it’s only a handful of
times this has happened.

My manager was clear she doesn’t have an issue with my phone usage and obviously she can’t tell me who reported it, although I have an idea.

This person will have known our manager will have had to say something to me - am I wrong to find them reporting this a bit pathetic? It just risks an awkward atmosphere when we are generally a fairly harmonious team.

OP posts:
ObliviousCoalmine · 15/05/2025 17:50

If someone had reported that to me I’d have said “that’s fine, I’ve got no concerns but thanks for letting me know” and then never spoken about it again.

glammymommy · 15/05/2025 17:57

Colleagues can be bloody annoying. Just make sure everything is above board always. Sounds like management is supportive but it's not like you need to be friends with colleagues. Just do your job and steer clear of whoever might have an issue with you. Also stay professional, don't discuss it except with HR, if that's applicable

Boggyjo · 15/05/2025 18:00

If you know who it is, kill them with kindness. It’ll keep them awake at night. 😈

IsThistheMiddleofNowhere · 15/05/2025 18:24

Definitely pathetic

GRex · 15/05/2025 18:27

Stickortwigs · 14/05/2025 17:39

But why did the manager have to say something? If that was me about an employee I’d have internally rolled my eyes and not bothered raising it.

This exactly. Is your manager quite young / junior? They really ought to encourage team members to settle down when they get a bit silly, not fan rhe flames of a conflict! Odd behaviour really.

ByNattyScroller · 15/05/2025 18:30

The person who grassed you up sounds nasty and pathetic. What a sad life they must lead if that’s what they’re capable of doing. I remember working in a very similar environment. It was completely toxic and like being in a school playground😞 If I were you I would be very careful who you trust, and I say this from experience. Sometimes even those who you think are your friends, are actually your frenemie’s and will have an agenda.

Caringwife · 15/05/2025 18:42

Perhaps you don’t realise how distracting it is for your colleagues? I’m sure it would have been overlooked if it was nothing much. Perhaps when you book things online you can leave a note as to where to leave your parcel, so you don’t actually have to communicate with the driver.

Beautifulweeds · 15/05/2025 19:16

Guess the manager has to bring up any complaints to discuss, whether they are bothered about it or not.

May be best to keep a low profile and not do it. Many of us who don't get the chance to talk through ring have just left instructions of a safe place so probably no need really to do it.

It must be sth that has annoyed a co worker as they have probably done the same, ie clear instructions so need to check upon all the time. Xx

Beautifulweeds · 15/05/2025 19:19

Or even have arranged safe place, as many of us have to do do as we don't have access to our phones while working. Really no need to be in constant contact with deliveries, even when allowed to, it's distracting for others and annoying I imagine. Xxx

Someone2025 · 15/05/2025 19:20

Stickortwigs · 14/05/2025 17:39

But why did the manager have to say something? If that was me about an employee I’d have internally rolled my eyes and not bothered raising it.

Agree,
If I was the manager I wouldn’t have said anything, there is an element of shit stirring on the managers part I believe, did she deliberately want to upset the OP and make her paranoid in the company of her work colleagues

blubbyblub · 15/05/2025 19:20

Tbrh · 14/05/2025 22:19

I did wonder this too, what would you do if you didn't have a ring door bell?

Show quote history

If you put a note in your door anyone can read it and find your parcels.

life gas changed. Deliveries are a normal aspect of life in a way they weren’t 25 years ago.
answering even 3-4 1 min phone calls should not be seen as a problem

Beautifulweeds · 15/05/2025 19:23

That's what I was thinking. Most of us look at our phones during breaks so constantly looking and responding to every mesaage/delivery while working is unnecessary and annoying and unprofessional.

Dutchhouse14 · 15/05/2025 19:25

If the manager has no issue with it why mention it when it's obviously going to unsettle you?!
Either manager isn't very bright or actually does have an issue with it but doesn't have the backbone to raise it directly.
However as the manager says they don't have an issue with it take that at face value and put it from your mind.

As an aside since covid we hot desk when we are in office but WFH most of the time so office etiquette is evolving.
When in office ring doorbels go off all the time and I do find it a bit annoying tbh even though each time it happens it only lasts 20 seconds !! It's more the frequency due to high number of people with ring doorbells in large open plan office, so maybe it's the overall impact. Could you just leave a note on your door like the olden days😂 or add delivery delivery instructions when you order?

sakuraspring · 15/05/2025 19:26

blubbyblub · 15/05/2025 19:20

If you put a note in your door anyone can read it and find your parcels.

life gas changed. Deliveries are a normal aspect of life in a way they weren’t 25 years ago.
answering even 3-4 1 min phone calls should not be seen as a problem

Show quote history

You don't need a note on your door. With nearly all online orders you can add a comment when ordering to tell them where to leave parcels if you are out.

Beautifulweeds · 15/05/2025 19:28

Prior instructions are what the rest of us with limited access to phones do and no problem. You really don't have to have door contact with every delivery to say the same thing that has been put on this.

Safe place...put in safe place.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 15/05/2025 19:33

I am amazed at the responses here - I wouldn’t report it but I would get the right arse if a colleague was talking to delivery drivers through her Ring doorbell through the day 🤣

I guess people hate snitches more than annoying people 🤷‍♀️

EleanorReally · 15/05/2025 19:36

god i worked with people who had the shoppingi delivered to work
did their online banking at work,
worked slowlyy so they could get paid overtime!
sent their christmas cards by work post
all nhs!

EleanorReally · 15/05/2025 19:37

but somebody raised it, the manager spoke to you.
try and be a bit squeaky clean

Quitelikeit · 15/05/2025 19:37

I’d hate to work there!!!

pipthomson · 15/05/2025 19:40

AmyRuby · 14/05/2025 17:34

I work in a fairly large office and there’s a very much ‘common sense’ approach to personal phone usage. No one sits at their desk and takes lengthy personal calls, but management accept there will be times people need to check/use their phones briefly and that for anything longer, they’ll step away from their desk or wait for breaks and lunch.

I had my 1:1 with my Manager today who told me that someone has reported to her that I’ve conversed with delivery drivers using my ring doorbell whilst at my desk - I simply say ‘please leave that round the side’ if no one’s in. I try to schedule deliveries for my WFH days but can’t always control that so it’s only a handful of
times this has happened.

My manager was clear she doesn’t have an issue with my phone usage and obviously she can’t tell me who reported it, although I have an idea.

This person will have known our manager will have had to say something to me - am I wrong to find them reporting this a bit pathetic? It just risks an awkward atmosphere when we are generally a fairly harmonious team.

Some sad folk have nothing better to do than try and make life miserable and worse for others
they are not in a good place emotionally or spiritually
I would try to rise above it (develop a ducks back)
these type of people are rarely happy I would resolve not to let it impact my own wellbeing (don’t engage in their negative scenarios or get drawn in to their orbit.
once you start to practice emotional self -care it becomes a habit!

Limehawkmoth · 15/05/2025 19:42

Tartanboots · 14/05/2025 17:42

Managers do sometimes say that "someone" reported something when actually it's them that have an issue with it. So I'd be a bit careful if this could be a possibility.

Yep, even if someone did report, the fact they then say they don’t have issue YET still raise it with you means they at least have concerns, and are monitoring your usage going forwards themselves.
its bothering your boss for sure

if they weren’t bothered as it falls within accepted company policy, they’d have told the reporter hat, and simply never raised with you.

be mindful. Arrange delivery pickups at post offices etc as much as possible. Or leave a message on ring that’s automated telling them where to put parcels.

Fatcrab · 15/05/2025 20:29

Could be as simple as read between the lines - 'i dont care but ur team mates are getting annoyed, so please curb it'

LaDamaDeElche · 15/05/2025 21:36

Same kind of people who report their siblings and parents for benefit fraud on MN…twats basically. The world is full of them. Love nothing more than to grass because their lives are so small that they are hyper fixated on other people. Sad really.

nomas · 15/05/2025 22:15

LaDamaDeElche · 15/05/2025 21:36

Same kind of people who report their siblings and parents for benefit fraud on MN…twats basically. The world is full of them. Love nothing more than to grass because their lives are so small that they are hyper fixated on other people. Sad really.

Why is it twatty to report stealing money?

llizzie · 15/05/2025 23:27

AmyRuby · 14/05/2025 17:34

I work in a fairly large office and there’s a very much ‘common sense’ approach to personal phone usage. No one sits at their desk and takes lengthy personal calls, but management accept there will be times people need to check/use their phones briefly and that for anything longer, they’ll step away from their desk or wait for breaks and lunch.

I had my 1:1 with my Manager today who told me that someone has reported to her that I’ve conversed with delivery drivers using my ring doorbell whilst at my desk - I simply say ‘please leave that round the side’ if no one’s in. I try to schedule deliveries for my WFH days but can’t always control that so it’s only a handful of
times this has happened.

My manager was clear she doesn’t have an issue with my phone usage and obviously she can’t tell me who reported it, although I have an idea.

This person will have known our manager will have had to say something to me - am I wrong to find them reporting this a bit pathetic? It just risks an awkward atmosphere when we are generally a fairly harmonious team.

Doesn't your company have a code to dial for phone calls? Some companies like land agents have a different code for their customers to bill them for time and expense, and one for staff.