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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I be acting like this?

16 replies

MyHazelLurker · 14/05/2025 12:27

I've got a medical condition that wasn't picked up by two physio's despite going for back pain. Basically I have Diastasis Recti and 18 months post partnum. I went to a physio a couple of months after birth due to back pain. She said I didn't have one. I went to another physio at about 13 months PP as I was having back pain and nearly dropping baby as legs were giving way. I explained I felt like my stomach wasn't strong etc, it was put down to being sitting at the desk at work.

It wasn't untill I went on holiday and noticed my body was the same apart from stomach area which still looks pregnant. I also can't suck it my stomach, it's like I just can't do it, even for a second.

After using private medical insurance at work I've got a bad case of Diastasis Recti and requires exercising.

I was speaking to my mum about it and she mentioned something about doing stomach exercises after she gave birth (5 c sections). Than when I hung up I gave her the name of it (I don't know how to say it) and she send a screen shot of how to cure it.

I feel like she's gone deaf, a physio said that it's going to be hard to heal due to pp and the size of it and surgery may be unnecessary but obviously NHS won't do it.

I got annoyed when she sent the screen shot, under mining my feelings and what the physio said. Had she just said "you are with experts now/at least you know what it is/give it a try and I'm sure you will get some results in a few months". Instead it's like I have to ignore everything and how I feel.

OP posts:
MyHazelLurker · 14/05/2025 12:30

This is also my stomach so you can see why I'm feeling sad over it. I look pregnant

Should I be acting like this?
OP posts:
AlertCat · 14/05/2025 12:33

Not sure that I’m answering the question you asked, but there’s so much ignorance around this that I only realised about a year ago that I have this too, and my dc is 14!! I’d never heard of it before.
Mine isn’t too bad as my core is strong and it’s really just aesthetic, but for years I couldn’t pull my stomach in at all and it still sticks out further than my low belly (was the other way around before pregnancy). I also get doming when I do crunches and the like.

Anyway, you will probably want a specialist physio or PT to prepare an exercise plan for you, because if it’s really bad you may not be able to go straight into hard core work. It can be improved though with exercises- they just need to be the right ones. You might also try a yoga therapist who specialises in women’s health.

MmeChoufleur · 14/05/2025 12:33

I think you’re being touchy. She’s just trying to help you. The exercises probably won’t help much but that was the advice back in her day so she’s just offering you the benefit of her experience. A bit like when my Nan used to advise me to rub goose fat into my chest for a chest infection (and she was a nurse!).

MyHazelLurker · 14/05/2025 12:37

AlertCat · 14/05/2025 12:33

Not sure that I’m answering the question you asked, but there’s so much ignorance around this that I only realised about a year ago that I have this too, and my dc is 14!! I’d never heard of it before.
Mine isn’t too bad as my core is strong and it’s really just aesthetic, but for years I couldn’t pull my stomach in at all and it still sticks out further than my low belly (was the other way around before pregnancy). I also get doming when I do crunches and the like.

Anyway, you will probably want a specialist physio or PT to prepare an exercise plan for you, because if it’s really bad you may not be able to go straight into hard core work. It can be improved though with exercises- they just need to be the right ones. You might also try a yoga therapist who specialises in women’s health.

I'm glad someone with heaps of training and qualifications has given such valuable information.

Oh yes yoya, helps massively.....

OP posts:
MyHazelLurker · 14/05/2025 12:38

MmeChoufleur · 14/05/2025 12:33

I think you’re being touchy. She’s just trying to help you. The exercises probably won’t help much but that was the advice back in her day so she’s just offering you the benefit of her experience. A bit like when my Nan used to advise me to rub goose fat into my chest for a chest infection (and she was a nurse!).

Tying to help by disregarding medical advice and how upset I was?

OP posts:
MyHazelLurker · 14/05/2025 12:39

AlertCat · 14/05/2025 12:33

Not sure that I’m answering the question you asked, but there’s so much ignorance around this that I only realised about a year ago that I have this too, and my dc is 14!! I’d never heard of it before.
Mine isn’t too bad as my core is strong and it’s really just aesthetic, but for years I couldn’t pull my stomach in at all and it still sticks out further than my low belly (was the other way around before pregnancy). I also get doming when I do crunches and the like.

Anyway, you will probably want a specialist physio or PT to prepare an exercise plan for you, because if it’s really bad you may not be able to go straight into hard core work. It can be improved though with exercises- they just need to be the right ones. You might also try a yoga therapist who specialises in women’s health.

Everyone has a "strong core" or else they wouldn't be able to sit up..
.

OP posts:
Cherry8809 · 14/05/2025 12:59

MyHazelLurker · 14/05/2025 12:39

Everyone has a "strong core" or else they wouldn't be able to sit up..
.

How to win friends and influence people, hey OP?

People (including your mother) are sharing their experiences with you, and explaining what has helped them, and you’re choosing to snap back at them.

MyHazelLurker · 14/05/2025 13:01

Cherry8809 · 14/05/2025 12:59

How to win friends and influence people, hey OP?

People (including your mother) are sharing their experiences with you, and explaining what has helped them, and you’re choosing to snap back at them.

She's not sharing her experience. She is saying the medical professional is wrong. And undermining my experience.

OP posts:
SoScarletItWas · 14/05/2025 13:03

MyHazelLurker · 14/05/2025 13:01

She's not sharing her experience. She is saying the medical professional is wrong. And undermining my experience.

This medical professional?

After using private medical insurance at work I've got a bad case of Diastasis Recti and requires exercising.

You're being unnecessarily snappy and rude at people trying to empathise.

Sofiewoo · 14/05/2025 13:05

I don’t understand how she’s claiming the medical advise is wrong or telling you not to have feelings, your medical advice was that the muscles needed to be exercised, she was only sharing something that worked for her.

”you are with experts now/at least you know what it is/give it a try and I'm sure you will get some results in a few months"
Genuinely no idea why you’re taking offence to what she said.

Cherry8809 · 14/05/2025 13:16

MyHazelLurker · 14/05/2025 13:01

She's not sharing her experience. She is saying the medical professional is wrong. And undermining my experience.

Where is she saying that??

Quite the opposite - she’s saying that there should be more awareness surrounding the condition and empathising with you.

Your lack of comprehension is outstanding.

AlertCat · 14/05/2025 18:41

I’m sorry I bothered to reply. Crack on OP. Be offended.

SpanThatWorld · 14/05/2025 18:48

MyHazelLurker · 14/05/2025 12:39

Everyone has a "strong core" or else they wouldn't be able to sit up..
.

If you're going to demonstrate your snark levels by putting something in inverted commas, at least quote the actual words.

We all know the difference between the strong core of an athlete and that of a weeble. But neither of them falls down.

Your response was rude and unkind.

SilviaSnuffleBum · 14/05/2025 19:07

What did you want from this post, OP?

purpleme12 · 14/05/2025 19:11

Wow OP have you actually just posted to be mean to people?

TheyFuckYouUpYourMamAndDad · 14/05/2025 19:20

Christ on a bike! Why the actual fuck did you post on here OP? 🤷‍♀️🙄

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