Nursery lost an entire bag of my child’s clothes

[WarmFox]

Good morning. Pretty much as the title state. Looking for some advice on how to handle this please and if I’m being unreasonable.

My 2.7yr old daughter started at said nursery a month ago which also happened to coincide with us starting potty training. Knowing I’d need to keep an abundance of spare knickers and bottoms for nursery and home I stocked up on some cheap bits thinking I’d have more than enough. Last week nursery asked us to drop off some more knickers and bottoms which we did, handing them over to DD’s key worker at drop off in a carrier bag. This was on Wednesday. The next evening (Thursday) I’m sorting through DD’s nursery bag and notice that none of the extra clothes are in DD’s bag with the other spare items - clean or dirty. DD attends Tues - Thurs so I would have expected that all of her clothes would have come back home with her in her bag that evening to be repacked for the following week.

Drop off is always a little rushed so I emailed on Monday to explain fully including who the clothes had been given to thinking this would help by giving them time to look for the clothes and not put them on the spot at drop-off or pick-up. At the next drop-off Tuesday (yesterday) we asked about the clothes and were told by another worker that they didn’t know anything about them.

My husband did drop off this morning (Wednesday) and asked that they try and find the carrier bag as apart from the clothes in the nursery bag, the majority of DD’s knickers and bottoms were now in the carrier bag of spares handed over last week. We’ll see what happens this evening at pick-up.

I totally get that clothes often go missing at nursery and honestly wouldn’t mind if it was 1 or 2 items but we’re talking about a few days worth of clothes for a messy toddler. They weren’t expensive but I don’t think that’s the really the point.

What’s annoyed me even more is that DD has come home in pairs of boys pants that are too small for her on two occasions because she’s gone through the clothes in her bag. I know these are spares that the nursery have on hand for this scenario but if they’d just look for the bag of her actual clothes they wouldn’t need to use random spares. They can’t have completely disappeared. They also don’t know our financial status and if we can afford to buy replacements for the missing clothes or not. It just seems careless on their part. AIBU?

Did you label them all?

Well, they will most likely turn up today.

Yes I did

Are they all labelled?

If you want advice on how to handle it, I wouldn’t do anything, they’ll turn up.

I hope so 🙏🏽

If you had given them in a carrier bag could they have thought it was a donation? Our nursery regularly received those from parents who would bring them in as spares for other kids once their DCs grew out of them.

I know it’s still annoying but likely a confusion has happened, the clothes have been put in a pile with other spares and they now genuinely don’t know where they are.

I would always assume a carry bag of clothes was likely to get lost. I would have sent them in a labelled bag or increased the number of changes in the bag you sent her in with. We sent in a bag each day with enough spares usually 4 full sets of clothing usually.
I would give the nursery a call at a quiet time of day. I usually did this for anything I needed action on as drop offs can be hectic and messages could get lost

i didn't have another suitable bag but I guess I could have labelled it. On the number of spares, we send her in with plenty more than 4 full sets. She’s been finding potty training harder to manage at nursery recently so i went overboard on the spares. Learning for next time not to hand clothes over in a carrier bag though!

@WarmFox yeah our nursery (big chain) had a policy of no drawstring or carrier bags for H&S so it’s possible that they took that bag in to the office and someone else picked up thinking it was a donation

Before dd was potty trained i had been sending 2 nappies/nappy pants a day and they were gone at end of day. Then last week they handed me a bag with all her bloody nappies in it! Had cost me a fortune and they were hoarding them.

they were given to her key worker who originally asked for them to be brought in but very possible someone else could have thought they were a donation and they’ve been treated as such. My only issue here is that she’s come in home in spares which don’t fit her. If her clothes have been added to the donations, this means they will have clothes that do fit her even if they don’t realise they actually belonged to her in the first place

Yeah she probably forgot. Spares usually get moved around from room to room and mixed in with others so you could find another toddler in them!

Why don’t you ask the key worker directly what she did with them?

Either they're still sitting around in a bag somewhere (most likely), or if they got added to the nursery spares they might have gone home on other children. In which case they might come back in eventually. My DS used to come home in all sorts of hilarious things, including a floral dress he was very proud of!

I think there's something psychological about a carrier bag being something disposable but totally get that you might not have had option! My daughter has a spare set of clothes at school and we struggled to find an appropriate bag !

Maybe a rethink for the strategy adopted for potty training at nursery?
We went with an alternative potty training plan and started with a few hours of knickers time when home with me then building up the time. It was only when she was comfortable knickers before and after naps every day at home we committed to potty training and got nursery involved fully. We sent her into nursery in pull ups once we started at home and they offered her the potty through out the day alongside the children that were potty training. Once we were sending her in in knickers, I also sent her in with 2 pull ups and said that if she was having a day where it was all misses put her back in pull ups for the afternoon and we'd try again tomorrow.

My DD still rocks a pair of car briefs that we forgot to give back before she left 😂

When my daughter was about 15 months in aged 9-12 month clothes she once came home from nursery in 0-3 months leggings! No idea how they got them on her!

I agree with the idea that keyworker has got caught up with someone, someone saw a carrier bag of clothes, and added them to the spares. Spares get used in multiple rooms as some 4 year olds will still be in 2-3, and some 12 month olds will also be 2-3!

I doubt there’s been any malice, and sending an email has sort of made it ‘official’, like you were complaining and have a paper trail - you’ve effectively told their boss they’ve ‘lost’ your clothes. A quick question at drop off/pick comes across as a bit more personable!

I’d send a non-carrier bag (even a canvis tote bag) labelled with her name as well as the clothes being labelled and clearly say ‘These are changes for daughter’. I’d be surprised if they go missing as often.

Thanks everyone for your replies! I’ve definitely learnt something which is not to use carrier bags for sending things to nursery and to label even the spare bags. DD was with a childminder previously so this is all new. As annoying as the lost clothes are you’ve helped me to gain some perspective and given tips on how to help prevent it from happening again. You live and learn I guess. Thanks!

I agree that they may have been put in spares. Or another child has taken the bag home by mistake and it’s ended up in the back of their car or at Auntie Sue’s/grandmas/dads house.