Evening tipple

[Rattles1]

I have a bit of a weird question I guess - I have a mum school friend , and we are part of a small group of friends who meet every couple months etc. She likes to have a couple drinks every evening, but it has to be one of those cocktails ( can or bottle ? ) or like a flavoured gin or vodka, but she can’t manage anything ‘strong ‘, but does have the flavoured stuff each evening.
I’m asking as otherwise we are similar with drinks on our nights out, no wine as it’s headache , no strong spirits etc. it’s just that I couldn’t handle it more than once a week etc. Would this be a concern at all to need such a drink each evening, I’m just curious as there doesn’t seem to be a need for any strong alcohol etc

What is your concern exactly - do you think she has a drinking problem?

I don’t have concern as such, I guess I just wondered if this was an odd need. She’s lovely and completely always with it , I don’t have concerns , but not encountered before. I guess it’s no different to someone having glass of wine each evening

If she wants to have one or 2 a night of these drinks then it's absolutely none of your business... I don't see why your so concerned unless she's necking loads of the stuff

Some people have chocolate everyday and others every now and again...who cares. Definitely better things for you to spend your life worrying about.

You need to phone 101 and log it with the police. It starts with a can or two of JD and Cokes in the evening, progressing very quickly to being a serial killer. Her methods are likely to stealthy, offer her a straw, if she accepts, run!

none of your business

Sorry OP I really can’t make sense of what you mean - you’re wondering is ‘it’ a concern but you have no concerns? And you think it’s reasonable to have a glass of wine every evening but a canned drink seems different and like an ‘odd need’? But you don’t see it as hard alcohol so you’re not concerned…. but you made this thread because…?

Can you elaborate on what the issue is, are you noticing bad patterns with your friend, are you concerned for her children? You’re going to have to lay it out properly if you want advice or thoughts.

I think that anyone needing a drink every night probably has a small dependence. Whether this impacts anything at all other than their mental and physical health (longer term) is the subject of a great deal of study and debate.

Regular drinking is very frowned upon, on mumsnet, which i believe is how you feel

Yes and it feels like the faux concern in the post just wants to start a barrage of “if you’re drinking every day you are an alcoholic” posts.

I think "needing" alcohol in any capacity is not a good thing even if it is the canned ones that are basically pop. The strength of the alcohol is irrelevant, it's whether it's an actual need or just something she fancies after a long day. And I say this as someone who probably drinks far too much and if examined under a microscope my own drinking habits would likely be cause for concern.

But honestly it's a minor vice as vices go, and I wouldn't stick my nose into someone's business unless I was genuinely concerned for their health, which I wouldn't be in this circumstance.

This is a non-issue. It’s one or two pretty weak alcoholic drinks.

I’m assuming when you say ‘need’ you mean it’s part of a winding-down ritual, rather than an actual physical craving that stops her functioning. It seems unlikely that she’d get the DTs if she had to miss a can of M&S pina colada.

I think it’s more important to consider drinking habits as a whole rather than simply alcohol consumed. Somebody who has a couple of mild drinks or quality wine each evening, enjoys them immensely, and does so as part of a happy and relaxing evening routine has a far healthier relationship with alcohol than somebody who might drink less frequently, but does so because they are stressed, or sad, or lonely and looking for a remedy for that; or drinks the strongest thing they can find to get tipsier more quickly.

Your friend sounds as though she likes rather than needs a drink. There’s nothing you’ve said which implies she’s hammering away at the Bailey’s and couldn’t do without it.

While it’s ideal to have a few nights off a week, a couple of small drinks a night is hardly a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

It's a psychological dependence, but a pretty mild one. If you think that she's on the 'hard' stuff, you need to learn more about alcohol units.

I don’t think it’s just an MN thing - alcohol in general is becoming increasingly uncommon amongst younger people - probably partially because it’s so bloody expensive now.

I can’t drink anymore due to medication but used to love a night out at the pub with friends - you could have a few drinks and still come home with change from £20 - certainly not possible now.

There’s also quite a lot of nice non-alcoholic options around nowadays too - it’s not just sickly sweet mocktails. I have non-alcoholic wine in the fridge as well as beer etc. and it all tastes surprisingly good.

I guess it’s no different to someone having glass of wine each evening

You said it yourself.

Wine seems to be more socially acceptable tho, presumably bc it doesn’t come in cans and the ‘yummy mummies’ do it

They are very weak. Usually the equivalent of one measure with a full bottle of mixer. Can’t see one being problematic.

Far more sensible than pouring your own measure (we all under estimate when we do that).

The 0% perlenbacher lager from Lidl is excellent. Haven’t found a decent wine yet, though and the 0 spirits are awful.

They're usually only 4%. Wouldn't have thought it's a big issue really. We all have our vices and this is a minor one.

Thanks All ! I don’t frown upon having a drink honestly, I like to have one too ! I meant to say i guess it’s same as having a glass of wine daily which is more common than a can of cocktail ! But yes I guess I have similar taste to my friend with all these sugary spirits and just wondered about daily. And yes I find the same thing at work, the younger ones are non drinkers mostly. It’s a different generation to when i started when it was wine and beers in my 20’s (everyone was in the office more too)

anyway I will mind my own business :)

And yet if you came on here and said you binged a packet of biscuits, you get many light hearted responses

This is true !

I found a decent non-alcoholic rose from an Australian brand called “not guilty”. I’m not really a spirits person so can’t comment on that, but I do like a cold 0% peroni.

I think that this is a very good point. It’s the taste . I also just like the taste of spirits and cocktails and can drink more of those, yet only manage a glass of wine at most as I don’t like the taste.