Why are men so smug about losing weight?

[Bikergran]

Is it just me, or do other women get utterly p*ssed off when men stop scarfing down beer and chips, lose weight, then a) strut round like they're Mr Universe and b) tell women they don't understand why they're making such a fuss about dieting, it's easy. BIL has just come to stay for a few days, first thing he announced when he walked in was his weight. He's stopped drinking 4-5 pints a night, of course he's going to lose weight!! Of course I said "Well done!" but I just wanted to throw something at him........

In my experience, when men go on diets they go on and on and on. I think women are quieter about it, but the guys can be much more boring than most women - give it a rest! My experience chimes with yours, OP.

I think that's an over-simplification/generalisation. The human brain is programmed to be motivated by reward and if a lot of effort has been made, for no apparent reward, that motivation will inevitably decrease. That isn't peculiar to women, but it is more common for women to experience no weight loss 'reward' after a week or more of sticking rigorously to an eating plan, so it's more common for women to experience that effect.

The men I know all seem to lose weight by cutting out one thing. The women I know seem to struggle much, much more.

The men I know aren't necessarily smug, but they don't have any idea how hard it can be and this is annoying. They will make oblivious comments about just cutting out beer (for example).

My DH loses weight way faster than me, even when we are both sticking to a caloric defect that is equal (percentage wise) to our needs. I am also way more strict on myself whereas he will cheat and still lose more.
Activity levels are the same too, if not me doing slightly more.

But as an adult, you rationalise why you haven't seen the results you hoped for but find the good where you can (maybe you gained 2lb this month and not 3lb around your period). You find the reward in that.

You wait until you have something to actually reward and don't expect that 20 years of disordered eating will be reversed after 5 days of better eating.

Same reason women are…to show off about it.

God. We've had women at work who wanted to dictate the eating habits of others while they were on their diets.

I'm short and am trying to lose a stubborn half stone that's loitered since 2020.

There's pretty much no alcohol to drop.
There are no easy cuts because it's all fairly moderate to begin with.
I already exercise as much as my body will comfortably tolerate which allows me to eat more than a small child. I have good muscle mass from strength work and running.
Trying to balance enough food to be well nourished, not perpetually hangry and exhausted, but enough deficit to gradually lose the handful of flab in the middle making my clothes snug is a delicate art.

6ft DH took up running. He burns a lot more calories just by existing. He burns about 100 more calories than me at short distances like parkun, let alone during longer runs. His surplus body fat fell off him, and then he had to conciously constantly scarf food down to not lose too much weight.

Naturally getting too gung-ho too quickly resulted in an over-use injury despite his meticulous spreadsheet training schedule, so he's reverted back to normal mode. I'd have been a bit more sympathetic if he'd listened to my advice on long term training load... or accepted my offer of contact details for physio...

I've found it easier regulating my intake while he hasn't been constantly trying to hold off excessive weight loss. 2kg (4lb) in over 2 months of effort is my reward for constant tracking and concious choices.

Male/ female biology (especially in middle age) is not an even playing field!

My DP is the same. He's lost two stone recently just by cutting out crisps and not eating quite such huge piles of sandwiches. Occasionally says no to a Mr Whippy. He says it's been pretty easy and he hasn't been hungry or craved anything.

If I were to just cut back a little I would stay exactly the same - I have to be constantly hungry to lose weight.

Men also don't spend a third of the month in a low energy hormonal slump battling the body's craving for carbs.
Drat thee oh luteal phase and menstration.

Unfortunately the follicular phase as lovely as it is doesn't have the superpowers to override the effects of the luteal phase by itself.

Dont expect to see a reward each week though, its months of work that will give the reward. You will always get weekly fluctuations so its better to check monthly results not weekly.

My DH struggles with his weight and has put a lot of effort into losing 3 stone. He’s certainly not been ‘smug’ about it, he’s just quietly got on with it.

You lost me at “scarfing down”. You sound bitter and jealous.

100% this , I know a woman on Mountjaro who has lost a stone pretty quickly, bur with no change in lifestyle, but I do wonder what will happen when she comes off and her normal eating habits kick in again

Came to say the same thing.
Thats all you hear on here most days.
Not met any men that do it.

I’m 49 and I don’t think I’ve ever encountered this. To be honest, I could probably count the number of times on one hand that a man has ever mentioned their own weight loss to me and there was certainly no smugness involved.

You realise that a large percentage of people on weight loss injections are making positive changes to their lifestyle though?

It stops them from feeling hungry so obviously they’re going to lose weight. It’s not impressive.

Why does it need to be impressive?

Does it need to be ’impressive’? Why? Is weight loss only worth while if it impresses people?
Would you say to someone taking anti depressants ‘well you’re just taking a tablet, it’s not impressive’? Such a weird morality to weight loss. Apparently it needs to be impressive, and it’s only impressive if you suffer for it.

Why is that, even when the thread has nothing to do with Mounjaro, the bashers always come out?

Exactly. I’m sick fed up of hearing women at work go on about their weight loss

Don’t they just. Can’t help themselves.

Never come across this. Men can be as vulnerable about weight issues as women ime and are less likely to talk about it. You’ve been unlucky in the men around you.

Not known men to be smug about their own weight loss because I’ve never really heard a man talk about their own diet. I have, however, seen countless men talk about how easy it is to lose weight. Just eat less and move more, apparently. They like to comment on any articles relating to weight loss injections.

Update, in last hour, BIL has again (with ZERO prompting) told us his weight and target weight, ostentatiously declined the offer of lunch (salad) "Oh, I never eat lunch now, you don't need it!" , and asked if we have a leather punch as his belt is getting so loose. Amazed SIL (who he has told us is MUCH too fat) hasn't strangled him by now, she is obviously much more tolerant than me.