I just feel like I am always breaking things, expensive things. I don’t do it on purpose, I don’t even realise it’s happened until afterwards when it’s too late.
I have also managed to put myself back into debt and my partner will go absolutely mental at me. I don’t know if I just spend because I can’t afford life or because it brings me short lived joy that I don’t get anymore from this relationship. We have a child together and I am happy but I’m not at the same time. I have thought many times if we break up etc. surely if I’m truly happy I wouldn’t have these thoughts? Or have I been thinking this so I don’t tell him I’m in debt again.
I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I don’t know why I’m putting this on here, it just feels so good to get it off my chest. I’ve always dreamed since a little girl to get the Disney prince kinda love and I don’t think I have that or ever will. I want to get married, always dreamed of it but I’m not sure if he would ever propose.