AIBU to be totally fed up with next door’s footballs and their kid using my driveway as a shortcut?

[AveryC]

Honestly, I’m at my wits’ end.

The neighbour’s kids are constantly booting footballs into my garden. Not just one or two here and there — I came home yesterday to find five in there. I’ve got plants I’ve spent time looking after, and some of my garden furniture is glass, so it’s not just annoying, it’s actually worrying something will get damaged.

I’ve already spoken to the parents before, nicely, and asked if they could move their goalpost and trampoline away from right next to my fence. Surprise surprise — nothing’s changed. I even got the classic “it’s not really a goalpost” line… right, but it’s still where they’re aiming.

On top of that, their kid keeps using my driveway as a shortcut. It’s not a public path, it’s my property, and I’ve asked several times for them to stop walking across it. It’s just the sheer disregard that gets me.

Honestly, I’m sick of having to be the reasonable one when it’s my space being disrespected.

AIBU to feel properly fed up now? Has anyone actually managed to get through to neighbours like this without turning it into full-blown drama?

My parents had this same issue back in the mid 90s. The football hit my parents’ cars a few times too. Kids parents didn’t care and stopped speaking to my parents. Even though all but one family have since moved out, all the new neighbours are told how horrible my parents are - because of asking kids to ensure footballs didn’t bang into our cars, garden etc.

So no, not successful and years later it is still an issue. fuckwits.

What do you do with the balls? If you throw them back then stop. They aren’t going to care if they break your things- the end.

Can you erect a fence, or trellis on an existing fence?

Trellis and balls take a long time to be returned - 2 weeks

Don't return the balls! When they come asking make it clear you'll be throwing out anything that comes over your fence.

You're being a bit petty about them walking on your drive, bit don't rush to kick their footballs back. Or alternatively kick them back near their car.

When their balls land in your garden, instead of giving them back, do what I do and blast them several houses down the street or over other fences!

That'll take the shits some time to locate them, if at all!

And if you do give them back, puncture them first before lobbing back..

As to the drive thing, perhaps time for some front fencing if possible?

Stop throwing them back. They will soon move the goalposts.

I too would delay giving the balls back so they learn a lesson. Once a month is frequent enough.

If the kids are using your front drive as a shortcut then it indicates you have no fencing and it's open plan? Any way you can change that to have physical boundaries to stop them?

This has made me laugh so much - just imagine you really enjoying kicking the ball like a pro player 😂😂😂

also puncturing is a good one. If they won’t listen then actions do speak louder than words.

I would take the balls in every time and hold on to them, they will soon get bored with it

YANBU. As you’ve tried to ask nicely, why not get stern with the kid?

I shouted at a child who somehow climbed my 6 feet brick wall to get his ball, he got a fright and didn’t do it again.

If they dont want balls punctured, theres 2 solutions.

Dont kick them over, or fuck off to the park.

😂

My neighbours many kids did this over a period of 20 years (all born quite a long time apart). Half my garden was destroyed. As was the neighbours on the other side of them.

Also the bang bang bang bang scrape bang bang scrape bang scrape bang bang bang of footballs being kicked off things or the kerb, or hand bounced on tarmac was really loud and grating.

I took the attitude of “kids need to play”. Repaired my plants as best I could. Tossed the balls back. Sighed and bought earplugs. Wished the neighbours would take their kids to the park.

For 20 years.

Until one day when my neighbours said I should just bin the balls and that’ll teach em to be more careful. What eh?!

It had never crossed my mind to not return something. But I started right away. Gradually the penny must have dropped with the kids. You put the ball in there and it’s goodbye ball. No more balls. (Plus kids are older right enough). No bad feeling from them either. Hurrah.

If only I’d known 20 years ago.

I actually dont mind the local kids playing football in their back gardens. We often got balls into the garden and would happily throw them back.

Until one of the kids thought it would be funny to take pot shots at my house. Properly hoofing the ball in the air so it landed in the garden and hit the house. That one got both barrels. My partner explained in no uncertain terms they were not getting the ball back unless the father wanted to come and have a chat about it face to face. Saying it very loudly so the father could hear. The father was a wimp and waited until we were at work the next day and knew we werent in other than my daughter. He came round and asked for the ball which she wasnt sure how to respond so she gave it back.

Funnily enough not a single ball has landed in our garden since, even accidentally.

Hi everybody! I can’t reply all comments, so I reply in here.

I got home last night just after 9pm and found five footballs sitting in my garden. Yes, five. I gathered them up and put them in my garden storage box — I’m not leaving them lying around like that. I thought the child who kicked them over would come and ask for them back himself.

Today I’ve been at work all day and no one’s been home. Around lunchtime, I actually saw the neighbour’s kid ringing my doorbell, but obviously no one was in to answer.

When I got back home, around half six, I was watering the plants in the garden. I think the mum from next door was knocking on the front door — I genuinely didn’t hear her and she never rang the bell, which we do have.

Next thing I know, I hear her open the side gate (very forcefully, I might add), and she shouts over the fence, “The balls were there yesterday — where have they gone?”

No greeting, no manners — just that. Like I’m running some lost property office for footballs. I told her straight: “There were five balls — I’ve no idea which one’s yours.”

She ignored what I said and replied, “I thought you had thrown it back already.”

I said, “No！I don’t know who them belongs to. There were five.”

Then she had the cheek to ask, “ Can you give it back?”

I said, “Yes! But you need to do something!”

Before I could even finish, she turned around and walked off.

Rude beyond belief.
I’m so angry! If I were speaking in my native language, I honestly would’ve gone off on her!😡

Sorry for what you are having to cope with. A Mr Amorim or a Mr Postecoglou may be interested in this child's talents though.

Ime letting the balls down before handing them back really works....
Because the dm /df has to pump them back up which inconveniences them.. When it's them being put out and not just you they will stop coming over the fence.
Sprinklers down your drive.. Switch them on when you get home . Or leave on all day and run past them very fast when you get home!!

I firmly believe that a good footballer can control their ball.😂

Sounds like your neighbour is actually better than mine — but only just, both pretty bloody awful.😂
I’ve already spoken to them once — their kids had previously damaged the plants near my front door, and I had to complain about it.

I also told them not to keep using the front of my property and driveway as a shortcut, but they’re kids still doing it.

And like I mentioned in my latest comment — the mum actually asked me where the footballs went, and said she thought I’d have thrown them back. No “hello”, no apology — just straight in with the entitlement.

I mean… seriously? Is that a joke?

Honestly, if the new neighbours hear that and still think your parents were the problem — they’re just as bad.
What kind of backwards logic is that? Making sure my car doesn’t get hit is my fault now?

Let’s see how understanding they’ll be when their own precious kids grow up and start smashing up someone else’s car. Will they be telling the police the same thing? “Oh sorry, he’s just a child”?

I haven’t been throwing the balls back — I’ve been waiting for them to come and ask for them properly.
But just now, the kid’s mum actually had a go at me for not throwing them back over.
What the…

As for the fence — I’m pretty sure it’s already at the maximum legal height.
I honestly don’t even understand how the balls keep making it over.

Had similar. What fixed the issue was that I said if they wanted the balls back the parents (not the kids) had to come and collect them.

If the kids came I said, no I need to speak with your parent before I return the ball.

I was also often unavailable when parents came to collect.

The parents don’t care until it becomes their problem to solve and it’s their life being impacted.

So make it their problem and their time.

After her behaviour, fuck her. Let her buy new balls. Because until she could ask me using manners and decency, hell would freeze over before she could have them back.

Because I don’t know whether it’s acceptable in British culture to scold children.
I didn’t grow up here, and as an Asian kid, I was scolded and closely monitored by my parents all the time.
So I’m not sure how things work in the UK—I don’t dare to scold them because I’m afraid my behaviour might be seen as really inappropriate here.😅

I’m Asian too! You have every right to scold them.