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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this bullying? Tell school or other parent or leave it?

5 replies

Maymae · 13/05/2025 22:04

DD is year 3 and 8 years. Her good friend lets call her L, is the same age. They met in the school early years setting when they were 2.

They are both only children and can be best friends most of the time. However, since starting year 3 last September there seems to be an unhealthy pattern where L is unkind in so many different forms to dd.

If dd plays with other friends, L sits alone and makes a big deal out of it and won’t play unless dd steps away from other friends so it’s just the 2 of them; L is then often unkind to dd saying they need to stay together.
There are lots of pairs work set ups and most days, L tells dd she wants to be her partner then at the time goes off with someone else she has arranged to be partners with leaving dd alone.
This week there has been a new issue each day where today, L was going to any friend dd was with and persuading them to go and hide away so dd was left alone. Yesterday L was telling some boys in the class to go to dd and tell her L doesn’t like her which they did.

it sounds like some girls don’t want the drama and are reluctant to be involved so stay away from both dd and L, however one girl who is usually alone has been what sounds like verbally loving what L is doing and saying which seems to have stopped L from making friends with dd by hometime.

I have let this be for all of year 3 and I wonder should I say something to the teacher? Wouldn’t they have enough to do without girls squabbles?
I don’t know the other mom well enough to talk to her.

I worry if I leave it it will get worse and dd is saying she doesn’t want to go to school tomorrow because of L but dd has always loved school and I think L is or was part of that reason.

WWYD??
Thank you
May

OP posts:
Stripeyanddotty · 13/05/2025 22:05

Speak to the teacher as soon as as you can.

xmasdealhunter · 13/05/2025 22:05

Speak to the teacher, they will be used to dealing with situations like this and can help stop it.

sunshineandshowers40 · 13/05/2025 22:09

I would speak to the school; they would have dealt with these behaviours before.

Oblomov25 · 13/05/2025 22:15

Good grief why have you not spoken to the teacher already? Please do and get teacher to subtly build new friendships.

Maymae · 13/05/2025 22:24

Thank you for the messages back.
I feel terrible now for letting this go on.
I know teachers are busy already and across 3 classes of up to 30 children there can be just four of them having to manage.

I will go to the office tomorrow and ask how I can talk with the main teacher.

Thank you.

OP posts:
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