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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy a dream house with a crazy neighbour next door?

193 replies

Friedeggs9876 · 13/05/2025 19:51

Would you buy the house of your dreams if there was an ongoing issue with the neighbour? The house is in the cotswolds, lovely garden in a beautiful area with great community, schools and shops. The only issue is that the house apparently has a neighbour that has harassed the owners in the past, instances like putting up notices around their property boundary about “around the clock 24hr surveillance” and “trespassers will be prosecuted” I’ve heard the neighbour also seems to think the owners are Russian spies and working with Putin. Would this be enough to put you off buying an otherwise lovely home?

OP posts:
BeyondTheReef · 14/05/2025 01:39

When I was younger, I might have been tempted to out crazy them. But I had more energy and was more foolish.

ItsFreedomBabyYeah · 14/05/2025 01:44

About 8 years ago, I bought a brilliant house next to a crazy neighbor. Unbeknownst to me, the neighbor had the occasional beef with previous owners and tenants (it was also a rental for awhile). Throughout my tenure, they called the cops on me, once. Apparently I was trying to "kill her lawn". Cops rock up one Saturday night, to my shock and bemusement... Nothing of it, they leave. My parents now rent my house. They have the occasional issue, where crazy lady will be outside, throwing abuse at my dad, but nothing too major... Am pretty sure neighbor has mental health issues, as we also hear her regularly screaming abuse at her DH. For the most part, its ok.

I was however super perplexed once, as I was sitting out front on my porch and I could hear neighbors, also outside, talking about me (and more specifically my Siamese cat) and somehow they knew my name. Despite me never actually having met them in person.. that was weird.

WaryHiker · 14/05/2025 02:08

There are a lot of hideously ableist posts on this thread, as you would expect from Mumsnet these days.

But my answer after many, many years of experience would be not to move next door to someone with untreated psychosis. You should feel extremely sorry for them, but don't deliberately become their neighbour. There is every possibility it won't end well.

Mothership4two · 14/05/2025 03:00

Wouldn't touch it with a bargepole. Neighbour issues, and this one sounds pretty dramatic, can seriously affect your mental health.

Roselilly36 · 14/05/2025 03:23

No way

JustMyView13 · 14/05/2025 03:29

I wouldn’t live there if it was free, there’s not a chance in hell I’d entertain paying actual hard earned money for this nightmare.
Anyone who has ever lived near nightmare neighbours will tell you it’s not worth the heartache.

Catladywithoutacat · 14/05/2025 03:39

No I wouldn’t I have a current issue with a neighbour and it’s horrible, especially when people cannot let things go, always have to stare or snigger when you pass and from what you describe you probably will have the same issue with this guy

Catladywithoutacat · 14/05/2025 03:50

MookieCat · 13/05/2025 20:55

They said he had technically passed the legal threshold for harassment some time ago. But none of the incidences taken separately amounted to much and we had no physical proof of the abuse. Due to this I don't go out to my car or the letterbox without setting my phone to record. They suggested a cease and desist letter but that police would not all that interested unless there was physical threat. The guy is very very cunning and sly and used to work with the police so he knows how to sort of slide between the cracks of the one thing that you would say 'that's it. That is the bit you can get him on'.

So we have an ever-expanding file of his behaviour and the notes he shoves through our door and written accounts from our gardeners and we are waiting for the proverbial last straw.

Show quote history

I have the same issue, man is very sly cunning and plays victim after causing trouble they’re truly disgusting people and it’s a shame the police are so uninterested until someone gets hurt

dottiedodah · 14/05/2025 03:58

I would avoid I think.is the property under asking price? I'd so probably been reduced due to this issue. Look elsewhere .9

GarlicPile · 14/05/2025 05:04

Velmy · 13/05/2025 20:15

It'd be very tempting purely to wind the nutter up beyond belief.

It so would 😂 Get the newsagent to deliver Pravda to your house, fly hammer & sickle flags, call your dog Trotsky, put up cameras with comparably large warning signs (in English and Russian) saying "24-HOUR COUNTER SURVEILLANCE IN OPERATION". Place a telescope in a window facing their property. Invite them over for vodka and blinis.

DreamTheMoors · 14/05/2025 05:18

MrsBruar · 13/05/2025 20:10

I have just been having a conversation with someone today about how horrible neighbours can ruin your enjoyment of a property no matter how much you love it. Don't do it. He does sadly sound unwell which is a massive risk in itself.

In the US, you don’t have to report crazy or awful or druggy neighbors.
We got trapped into this.
We bought a lovely home on 1/2 acre at the very edge of town. We loved it. Large home, beautiful pool and acreage behind us.
And then the neighbors’ kids began their egging, dye in our pool, poison in our back yard for our animals, knives in our tires - it was an absolute nightmare.
And they’d sneak over the fence and swim in the pool - and when we confronted the parents, they’d deny it, as the kids were standing there with wet heads.
Their parents defended them from everything, regardless of evidence or police presence or report.
This was all pre-internet, so ring-doorbells and phone evidence were unavailable.
I felt guilty not telling the buyers when we sold the house, but we never would’ve gotten out of there if we had.
People are awful. I must’ve said that 50 times this week.

BeethovenNinth · 14/05/2025 05:21

I could cope with that. I couldn’t cope with druggie/noisy neighbours

Presumably he isn’t out shouting at current owners?

Butchyrestingface · 14/05/2025 05:23

If you’re as crazy as he is, sure, go for it.

Otherwise, not a chance.

missdeamenor · 14/05/2025 06:20

Sounds like the neighbour has schizophrenia. Bad neighbours can ruin your life, but I would be inclined to do as Twinstudy says and engage with this person.

It's such a shame as the house sounds wonderful.

TubeScreamer · 14/05/2025 06:48

purpleme12 · 13/05/2025 22:43

Did you lie and say there were no neighbour problems?

No we did not - hence having to sell at a loss to someone prepared to take the risk

Fantailsflitting · 14/05/2025 07:00

I think the fact that they are selling says it all really. I have had legal involvement in neighbour disputes and they are awful. I had one neighbour threatening the other waving a pitchfork and the other neighbour hosing the pitchforker down. It's pretty hard to get neighbourly relations back on a reasonable footing after something like that. My personal opinion is that people should not willingly sign up for this sort of thing.

Cycleaway · 14/05/2025 07:03

Friedeggs9876 · 13/05/2025 20:09

There has also been a few episodes with police involvement where community officers have had to visit the neighbour. Apparently the neighbour can sometimes scream at the owners accusing them of endangering their life and that the owners are trying to cause them harm.

Yes, I’m almost certain this is the area I was thinking you were talking about, and from what I’ve seen posted on facebook (including responses from said neighbour) if anything you might have been given quite a sanitised version of what’s been going on. The problem seems to impact the entire road and anyone who parks there - whether or not they live there, and regardless of their ages. I’m pretty sure it’s not remained limited to verbal assault, and the police are not much threat, as they’re just part of the conspiracy theory this person thinks is at play. I’m pretty sure that anyone selling in that area is at their wits end

Dutchhouse14 · 14/05/2025 09:08

Friedeggs9876 · 13/05/2025 20:09

There has also been a few episodes with police involvement where community officers have had to visit the neighbour. Apparently the neighbour can sometimes scream at the owners accusing them of endangering their life and that the owners are trying to cause them harm.

I definitely wouldn't be being this house, it's not going to be a dream house if you can't live peacefully

mumda · 14/05/2025 10:24

Orangemintcream · 13/05/2025 19:53

I wouldn’t risk having to live next to that for years and years.

Fugit tempus

How long can they go on?

Caroparo52 · 14/05/2025 11:05

Yes. Don't buy it

Laura95167 · 14/05/2025 18:18

Id speak to the neighbour he might think the sellers are the problem neighbour and be glad to see the back of them and perfectly reasonable with you.

Or he could be batshit.

But I'd go see and then decide

Billybea · 14/05/2025 19:18

I wonder why they're selling .....!

purpleme12 · 14/05/2025 19:20

Laura95167 · 14/05/2025 18:18

Id speak to the neighbour he might think the sellers are the problem neighbour and be glad to see the back of them and perfectly reasonable with you.

Or he could be batshit.

But I'd go see and then decide

I wouldn't rely on this though

Some people are very capable at putting on a very good act with certain people

Laura95167 · 14/05/2025 19:32

purpleme12 · 14/05/2025 19:20

I wouldn't rely on this though

Some people are very capable at putting on a very good act with certain people

Show quote history

True.

But I'd do it to support my decision if I loved the house I'd need to feel sure it was a risk I was uncomfortable with

FreddieMercurysCat · 14/05/2025 19:38

They sound my neighbours. I warn you to NOT buy. We had 6 years of hell. The police only did something when they started on our (then) 9 year old son. Then the police stepped in, issued them with a CRO on the proviso that we put a cctv camera up. It’s been 12 months now and although it’s been quiet, they still try it on - they just use their children now. It’s not worth it. Seriously.