To think it’s sad that posters wanting real advice get so few replies when trivial threads where people just like to argue get lots?

[Roxietrees]

Will probably get loads of replies to this, which’ll just prove my point further, as this is one of those trivial AIBUs that MNers can argue to death about or go on the attack. Just read an (old) thread about someone going through a horrendous DV situation and fearing losing her children. It was a situation many, I’m sure, could have at least sympathised with and definitely some people would have been able to relate & offer advice. No replies (I would have replied had it not been a year old). I see this all the time. Completely pointless threads like “AIBU to say OW loudly when the woman next to me in the supermarket queue accidentally stands on my toe” and similar, get hundreds of replies as people love to put people down, argue, criticise, and generally make people feel like shit. Whereas threads about important issues where someone clearly needs a lot of support or advice go ignored or get 5 replies, one of which is probably correcting the OP’s grammar. Is this really the world we live in? That everyone is so shallow they’d rather “win” a pathetic argument about something pointless or deliberately make someone feel bad for making the slightest mistake to boost their own ego rather than to give genuine advice and support where it’s needed? Or is this just mumsnet? Either way it’s pretty gross

It doesn't take much for a thread to be derailed into digital fisticuffs between two or three posters.
Certain thread subjects I will hide as they just become unadulterated vitriol.

I agree. I think there are definitely posters who are actively looking to antagonise. It doesn’t matter what the thread is about, they will argue that black is white, if it gives them a chance to argue with, and/or berate someone.

Often, when I read a post that is a true call for help, I can’t answer as I don’t have the knowledge/tools that can help, and feel its bette4 not to clog up the post with comments that don’t help

I suspect that while there are some folk here because they want to help others there are far more here just for entertainment. It's probably better for people in the more vulnerable situations if the people here for amusement don't add large amounts of unhelpful or insensitive posts on their threads.

If you want real advice then often MN is not the place. There are some very knowledgeable posters, but also a lot of rubbish advice so if it was important - legal/benefits/housing rights I’d only use things as a starting point and look for reliable sources. Just one knowledgeable poster is enough.

I get really tired of people complaining about how other people answer threads. You get it all the time.

"Ooh I just roll my eyes when I see someone say..."

If you have all the answers then post in the thread instead of moaning about other people making the effort.

BrightLightTonight

Often, when I read a post that is a true call for help, I can’t answer as I don’t have the knowledge/tools that can help, and feel its bette4 not to clog up the post with comments that don’t help

Exact same here, I don’t want to give the wrong advice and set things back for the op

I don't think AIBU is the right place for things like DV and SEN etc tbh. The nature of it is that it becomes a pile-on where yes, people argue and pick and paw over everything. It's not really thr place to ask for serious advice.

I've always found the other boards much better if you're looking for advice about parenting, relationships, illness or whatever.

There's good advice in relationships, legal and property sections. AIBU is not the best for advice.

I don't comment on tough issues like that as I don't want to be wrong, give bad advice or accidentally upset someone that's clearly in need.

But I'll happily tell someone that's just being a dick the truth, and there's more Of that in AIBU!.

A lot (most) of the ones that take off are made up though, they just throw in all the things guaranteed to get MNers wound up into the OP, and watch it fly.

YADNBU

That’s how SM works.

I think it's probably they don't feel qualified to give advice on such serious topics. Maybe don't know what to advise. Maybe worry that they could say something hugely unhelpful. Giving bad advice can be worse than giving no advice when you're dealing with someone in a dreadful situation.

And maybe there's people who come on mn to engage in trivial shit and so avoid opening the serious sounding threads.

YABU because people use MN for different things.

Some use it for light entertainment, some use it to seek/give advice and some use it for all of the above depending on their mood at the time.

If a poster isn't getting any/many replies, they're free to keep bumping their thread as this often works well.

For what it's worth I don't think it's wrong to use forums for entertainment as long as you're not trolling or piling on to someone whose posted a sensitive thread.

Too many people use AIBU as their first, and sometimes only, section. More users should familiarise themselves with the whole website. There is plenty of support, kindness and excellent information but find the appropriate section