How often does your DC’s nursery give you an update?

[sha160528]

Hi,

For context, my DD is 17 months old and is in the baby room. She’s been attending nursery since she was 9 months old and started going there September 2024.

I feel as though I wish we’d get more of an update in regards to DD. My partner usually collects and the key worker will say what she’s eaten but that’s about it really. Occasionally if DD is teething or has had a difficult day she’ll say ‘XX was quite clingy today think she could be teething’.

They used to give this sheet of paper every four months with a rough update but haven’t received one for what feels like a while.

Occasionally (Mother’s Day, Christmas etc) they’ll send some art work home but I don’t actually receive any information about how long her naps are, if she’s had any sort of a bottle of milk at nursery, how her development is and what she’s been up to.

I requested they write down what she eats and how much she has of it due to DD having allergies and we were suspecting other allergies so wanted to know what she has. They stopped writing how much she’d have. I asked for them to write quantities again and they started again, then stopped again and now just write what was served. I like to know quantities because DD can go off her food a lot when she’s unwell and I’d rather know if she’s not eaten much at nursery so I know to make her a bigger meal when she gets home or to maybe offer more milk instead of she’s teething as sometimes she prefers milk when teething etc.

Just want to know what kind of updates other people get for their DC who are in the baby room?

I’ve included an example of the first ‘update sheet’ we got to show what an update looks like. This is meant to be every four months. The last one was received in January. I do feel like every four months is a long stretch for a younger child. I’d like to know how long she naps for and what she’s been up to more frequently.

Thanks

That sounds a perfectly normal level of information. You don’t need daily updates on nap length or food intake, if she’s ill and hasn’t eaten they would certainly mention and ours would mention if they had had a particularly late nap say 4-5pm just as a bit of a forewarning but other than that just assume normal range and you parent as you usually would.

We have an app called famly; on it, they update throughout the day; 1-5 batches of pictures explaining activities/ themes of the week, daily sign in and out, each meal time, what they ate, how much of it, nap times, nappy change and what it was, we have a group chat with us and all the staff associated with the room and can contact at any time, and always get a response. How little you’re getting is unfathomable! I’d speak to staff or research alternatives

I think they should be giving you a rough idea of how much she ate, whether in the baby room or older. The creche my DD is in do a 'ate none/some/most/all' for her breakfast, lunch and afternoon snack. However if they don't mention that she didn't eat or was off form, you can be pretty certain she ate most or all her food and was in good form (I say this as someone who worked in creches previously. If something was wrong you would be told)

I was told anything different other than that I left then to it

Ours have never got into using the app - for a while all meals went on there with some or all etc, along with some daily pictures. They haven't used this for a month now. I ask on pick up what he has eaten (menu is on a board outside) and how much and if he has done his normal nap or anything different. They will always tell me if he's been different behaviorally or what he's been up to all day. But I am happy to chat for a bit as he's a fairly late pick up so there's enough staff around to do so. They go down for nap at same time every day and I ask them to wake him after an hour so

Nursery workers are underpaid and overworked. I would much rather they spend their time with the children rather than worrying about paperwork.

The only time you really need updates is when something is wrong. Illness, change in behaviour etc or if they’ve hit a bit milestone like crawling, pulling themselves up etc.

Blimey do they really spell it learn't?

I'd have a massive problem with that!

I think they should focus on exemption reporting (ie if something is out of the ordinary). Personally I think it's better to have someone looking after the children than wasting their time on unnecessary updates.

My two DC have together been to 3 nurseries in the last 5 years and we had an app for each of them that was used.

i know posters have said you don’t really need to know more than whether they’ve had food and are happy but I understand the anxiety!

IME it’s unusually to get so little. For comparisons in each of the nurseries we’ve used we’ve had updates throughout the day which show:
-what they’ve eaten and how much
-application of sun cream
-nappy changes and whether soiled or wet

We also get at least once a week a photo dump of activities that have been done and they usually bring home some sort of craft

Every three months we also get an update on their learning journey. So how they are doing against age appropriate milestones.

i wouldn’t be happy with so little info to be honest but im used to getting a lot!

That's very little information for a baby. That's on a par with what we got when DD was in the preschool room to get us used to what school would be like. We did get a lot more artwork though.

When DD was smaller we had a book that came home every night with what was served and how much she'd eaten at each meal/snack by ticking one of "none", "some", "most" or "all", along with nap length and nappy changes and a note about her day. This moved to an app just as DD was going into the preschool room and so it dropped off anyway.

We also had an app where photos would be uploaded. A couple/few times a week in the baby room, reducing as they got older to once every few weeks by the preschool room.

Particularly when you have health concerns for your DD you should be getting more detailed information on what she's eating.

We used to get a slip of paper at the end of the day saying how much of each meal they'd eaten, nap times and nappy changes, and a verbal report on the day's activities at handover. Then the nursery switched to using the app mentioned above. The app has more detail because the chef has programmed in what all the meals are, so it tells us what they've had and the staff still just pick whether they've eaten none/little/most/all (or, if your child is a glutton like mine, 'all+'). We also get timings for nappy changes and sleep, and at the end of the day we get a brief write-up and about a dozen photos of what all the babies have been doing. There are always posters on these types of threads who say nursery staff don't have time to be doing paperwork etc., but the staff at my DCs' nursery don't seem to mind the way this is set up - I think it is partly down to how user-friendly the app is and how well it is programmed for them. They are very clear on what they won't do, e.g. we've been told not to contact them on the app because they won't be checking it throughout the day. I think multiple updates on activities every day would be overkill as well. But I do find it useful to know what they've eaten and how much, as my DCs get second tea when they get home, and if they've not eaten the nursery food they'll also be hangry at pick-up and I bring extra snacks.

In person, we all get a handover chat about what the group has done that day - our nursery normally has an apprentice in each room and after they've been there for a little while they are encouraged to do the handovers and it's lovely to see their confidence growing when they are more used to interacting with parents. And we get a keyworker meeting every 4 months to discuss progress.

I get more updates than that for my 4 year old (who can tell me most stuff!). We ger a daily blossom update with a summary of what they've done that day (the whole room so its the same for all) and what they've eaten. Also if theres an accident form or change of clothes.

We get 'golden moments' added about teice a month for learning peogression and a parents evening once a year to discuss progress. Staff are always there for a chat at pick up too if needed.

Admittedly DD Goes to a very good nursery that charges a small fortune. But i do think i'd want at a minimum nap length and food eaten. Learning i'd expect an update every so often around 3 monthly maybe.

An interesting mix of responses here.

Personally I do want to know how much she eats everyday because DD goes off food completely at times and she loses weight quite quickly so I need to know how much she’d eating so I know what to expect and to consider if I should compensate at home when I give her food after nursery or if I should make a bigger bottle etc.

I’m not too fussed about nappy changes but I’d like to know about naps too as DD comes home in a horrible mood sometimes and is so tired she doesn’t want to even eat and it makes me wonder if she had a proper nap (they’ve never commented on how her nap has been unless I’ve asked - I know DD and I know she’s a light sleeper so if her nap was disturbed I’d rather know so I know what to expect). I get they can’t control the noise levels as other children will make noise but I would rather know how she’s getting on with food and naps. She has dairy allergies and I keep a close eye on what she eats as we suspect other allergies so it’s handy to know exactly what she’s had so that I can spot patterns. They do have posters of the menu but they don’t apply to DD as she’s veg and has a dairy allergy so her meals don’t always match up to what’s on the poster.

I worked at a nursery whilst at uni and this was before the apps became such a thing and we’d give sheets of paper and just circle how much they’d eaten from a few of the printed options. Same with the bottle, just circle the amount and just add the nap times in the box.

On handover her key worker often stutters and is flustered (I get it as I know it’s not easy to work with children who are so young) but I need to know these things as they impact other things

I know this wasn't the question, OP (and I would be frustrated with this lack of detail too, and like to know if they've eaten), but with my DS this age, I still give him tea at home and let him just eat as much as he wants until he says he's all done. It sounds like your DD wouldn't eat if she wasn't hungry anyway, so she's not likely to overeat.

@BarnacleBeasley I do still offer her meal and try to see but then she sometimes outright refuses after a few mouthfuls and I wonder if that’s because she’s full from what she had at tea time and isn’t really that hungry which is fine.

But then if she hasn’t really eaten at nursery and is refusing at home I’d like to know so I can try maybe more milk or keep an eye on her as she will be at nursery again the next morning for breakfast and I won’t know if she’s eaten until after nursery

My little one went to 2 nurseries and the experiences were very different.

The first small independent nursery: when he was in the baby room I got a daily paper slip with how much food he had eaten, nappies and nap each day but when he went up to the 2+ room (he moved up earlier than 2) I got nothing but a short verbal hand over which often clearly wasn't about my child. No photos, no written developmental reports. They were very understaffed, hence the change to a new nursery.

The second nationwide nursery: I had an app where they posted regular photos and monthly developmental checks but just a verbal hand over at the end of each day.

I was a little put off at first that I didn't get a daily written handover at the second one but actually felt a lot more reassured from the nursery.

First nursery gave us a sheet every day with what she had eaten, naps and when her nappy had been changed. Emailed photos every day and weekly videos of each of the rooms. Every day we were told she had had a "fab day". Turned out to be an awful nursery and they gave up their licence mid Ofsted investigation.

Second nursery she had a home book which detailed her food, nappies and nap. They generally stopped this when they started the preschool room but as my daughter has allergies they kept it up for my daughter. On pickup we would sometimes get "all good" sometimes more details usually not much detail. We had to get them to do a food and stools diary for a week for my daughters dietician and one member of staff proceeded to give us very detailed descriptions of every bowel movement for about 3 months afterwards. They didn't give us a full run down if her food each day but when there were mistakes in her book it didn't matter which member of staff I spoke to in her room they knew what she had had to eat. She had a completely bespoke meal plan. We got photos irregularly depending on what they had done that week.

Mine uses the Famly App also. I love it.

Every day we’ll see they’ve logged:
• What time they arrived and left.
• What each of the 3 meals were and how much they ate (ie ‘all’ ‘some’)
• Times of multiple nappy changes
• Start-Finish times of sleep
• Start-Finish times of going outside

Then on top of that there’s usually either a group or individual photo observation linked to development milestones.

Because it’s on the App I don’t think it’s as time intensive for the staff as printing and writing a hard copy handover sheet or writing in a communication book.

I’ve also been working with the HV and an EYW from the NHS in relation to DD’s development and they asked about how she is at nursery and I don’t really have much of an update or any information to provide.

I did once ask if DD responds to her name at nursery (as she was 50/50 with this at home) and was told ‘I’m not actually sure if she does, I’ll have to test her and see if she responds’ when I called back at the end of the week for an update she said ‘yes she responded every time I called her name’ which worried me a little as surely she should know if DD responds to her name without having to test her to see if she does?

As she mentioned that DD does respond it means that she could be different at nursery to what she is at home so that creates a different picture and if need to feedback that to the HV if that makes sense?

I’m with you op. Your concerns and wants are valid and for many of the reasons you’ve listed, this is why I’m happy with the high level of updates I receive from nursery. Staff seem fully engaged and on the ball because they have to be. Is looking for a new nursery an option? I know sometimes the convenience of location can be a factor.

I have never wanted daily updates of how much food DC have eaten or when their nappy is changed and what was in it, what time they went outside, etc. But our app is more around activities and learning events they’ve done that week with pics of them doing activities, not day to day minutiae. Before the app it was just verbal updates and a book that got updated with printed pics and written updates that we would see every few weeks. If I wanted to know anything specially I would ask at pick-up (and still would do that for stuff like dietary info).

But obviously some people really like the blow by blow accounts, so I think there’s an element of subjectiveness about it all! And I think a lot links into how comfortable you are with nursery. Our nursery is amazing so I didn’t feel I needed them to tell me about nappies or exact food amounts as I knew that anything important they would let me know anyway. I trusted them so I didn’t feel I needed to know every little detail like that, I want to focus on what activities she did, who she was playing with, etc. Not that she didn’t eat her peas.

Is your partner asking for the information at pick-up?

When we had developmental concerns about my daughter our HV contacted the nursery and asked them to complete an assessment to see how she compared in the nursery setting and home and when the HV did the assessment. Unfortunately the nursery closed before this was completed.

I think it's more than reasonable to have a call with the nursery and asked them to monitor and feed back a few specifics related to your concerns. We had to do this when we had dietary concerns.

Our nursery uses the same sheets! You're not in east sussex are you?!
DD previously went to another which had an app which was nice but she felt like one of the numbers and it was very expensive.
I err with previous posters who say nursery workers are over worked and honestly if they're worried they'll.let you know.

This is the same app our nursery uses so we get this too & I love it!

But not all nurseries offer it OP, if you’re not happy it may be worth looking to change to one that offers an app

I’ve got a new nursery place booked for her from September and they do use an app for daily updates. Just need to wait it out until September I suppose