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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not do this for best friend?

28 replies

IdontknowKev · 13/05/2025 06:31

For a bit of background, we have been friends since pre school, through school, into adult hood, marriage, kids etc.. we class ourselves more as family really, our parents are friendly, children love each other, been on lots of holidays together and so on. You get the idea, we're really close.

BFs husband is an accountant and he started up his own business not long ago but is struggling to find clients as it's a small area and there are actually a few other accountancy firms in the local area who already have most of the local business.

I actually own a business myself which has been doing really well in the last 5 years or so.

Friend has asked me recently if I will take on her husband as my accountant to help with his portfolio.

The thing is... while I don't have any doubt in BFs husbands capabilities and he's a good guy who I really want to see succeed, we already have an accountant. She works at a one of the local firms and she is very very good. She knows my business inside out, is so helpful and knowledgeable and has just been a godsend throughout.

She isn't self employed like BFs husband, she works for a firm who already control a large portion of the local business so it's not a sense of loyalty in that she'd be out of pocket or seriously miss the business but more because I just think she's great and I trust her a lot.

I've said no and I think BF is a bit upset that I won't "help out". I know she's stressed right now though too.

AIBU to not give her husband the business because I'm already happy with the lady we use?

OP posts:
Enrichetta · 13/05/2025 09:56

Quite apart from never mixing business with friendship, I wouldn’t want my friend’s husband to know all about my business and finances,,

JeMapellePing · 13/05/2025 10:01

I also run my own business and would not do this for love nor money. If you have an accountant you know and trust, keep with her. If she ever vanishes, find another accountant who is neither friend nor family, and ideally not even acquaintance.

TumbledTussocks · 13/05/2025 18:58

Accountants don’t need to be local. This chap needs to market his business further afield.

YANBU the capacity for this to go wrong is huge and it’s an unreasonable request.

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