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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be irritated by long voice messages

36 replies

Nomad68 · 12/05/2025 22:39

I have a friend who leaves voice messages of 20-30 minutes on what’s app. Is it wrong that I find this irritating? It’s good to hear her news and she will ask about me and family. The messages are so long I have to listen and start my reply at same time. It’s like a monologue that I need to take notes on. Such an unnatural way of communicating.

OP posts:
Apollo365 · 12/05/2025 22:41

Yikes! That’s too long - tell her 5 mins max and listen on sped up!

MrsBeesBakedBeans · 12/05/2025 22:41

And I thought the three minute voice notes I received were long!

YNBA.

Trallers · 12/05/2025 22:42

YANBU! A relative leaves me 5 min ones and that's annoying enough! It is useful as a quick way to convey something that would take much longer to write as a message, but it still needs to be kept to the point like a message would imo.

BlueMum16 · 12/05/2025 22:43

Just message and offer a call rather than voice notes.
YANBU

stressedandamess · 12/05/2025 23:06

Ooops I pressed the wrong one. Sorry YANBU. 30 minutes is way too long for a vnote imo.
the longest I’ve left is about 6 minutes but that was covering a range of topics between me and my friend who also loves a 6 minute tops voicenote.
I have one friend who left a 15 minute one and it took me days to get through it because of my kids interrupting all the time lol

TwistedWonder · 12/05/2025 23:08

Not unreasonable at all. I hate voice notes.

I have a friend who leaves long VN 3/4/5 one after another sometimes going on for 30/40 minutes.

I’ve told her so many times I can’t play them at work but it falls in deaf ears

Bitchesbelike · 12/05/2025 23:08

I hate voice messages. I don’t want to hear a monologue: just text me

Snugglemonkey · 12/05/2025 23:29

I seriously would not listen to that. If u saw a message that long I would reply asking if they had fallen asleep or something. Joking, but being clear I am not listening to that. I think 3 minutes is excessive.

CocoChaneI · 12/05/2025 23:30

Fuck me, I wouldn't be listening to 20-30 mins. Two mins is pushing it.

sundaybloodysunday12 · 12/05/2025 23:30

No way would I listen to that.

ChaToilLeam · 12/05/2025 23:37

I hate them completely and would have to tell her not to do it. Call me or text me but don't expect me
to listen to an extended monologue under any circumstances!

Aliceglass · 12/05/2025 23:45

I find it odd that these voice notes have become a thing. I thought everyone universally hated leaving voicemails and now people are effectively doing them as voice notes. Not for me. I hate having to relisten to make sure I’m responding, by text, to everything. Annoying as

Burnout50 · 12/05/2025 23:47

sundaybloodysunday12 · 12/05/2025 23:30

No way would I listen to that.

No, me either...

GiddyCrab · 13/05/2025 00:12

I just delete them. If they ask if I got their message I say No.

spoonbillstretford · 13/05/2025 00:15

Delete, block, breathe a sight of relief. How utterly self-absorbed of them.

flannelonthesink · 13/05/2025 00:41

I hate voice messages Sad yes it’s easier for someone to send one but an inconvenience for me to listen 😂

samarrange · 13/05/2025 00:45

I hate it when someone leaves a 2-minute note in a group, say a neighbourhood group, and then a dozen people reply in text form. So you can see that something has happened, and then there are 20 replies saying "Oh that's not good" and "Have you tried putting cream on it?" and you feel obliged to listen to the message (which would have taken 10 seconds to read if it had been a text) to find out that it's a failed pavlova and not a gaping head wound.

VoltaireMittyDream · 13/05/2025 01:13

God I hate voice notes. I only know 2 people who send them to me, and they are the flakiest, most long-winded, self-obsessed, sanctimonious twats you could ever hope to meet. They waffle on and on, hemming and hawing and losing their train of thought, because it’s apparently just all too overwhelming to structure their thoughts and/or use their own thumbs.

Anyone who prattles on for half an hour deserves never to be listened to again.

coxesorangepippin · 13/05/2025 01:37

I never listen to voice messages

Friend was left me a series of voice notes - I mean, come on

Tbrh · 13/05/2025 02:10

YANBU. It's the most selfish form of communication, easy for the sender and hardest for the receiver as you need to actively stop what you're doing to listwb to it. If they can't be bothered typing they should speak to text. My friend and I were just complaining about this today!

NeverEndingSnorey · 13/05/2025 02:15

Ask for the TLDL (too long didn’t listen) version.

Liug · 13/05/2025 02:24

I hate even short voice notes. I’d be deleting a podcast length one and not listening to it tbh.

BatFeminist · 13/05/2025 04:07

Hearing a voice message from a loved one releases oxytocin in us, reading text never releases oxytocin, no matter what words are used. So I think they have their place. But 20 minutes? No love in that scenario

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 13/05/2025 04:16

Tbrh · 13/05/2025 02:10

YANBU. It's the most selfish form of communication, easy for the sender and hardest for the receiver as you need to actively stop what you're doing to listwb to it. If they can't be bothered typing they should speak to text. My friend and I were just complaining about this today!

Exactly!
Do speak to text... THEN summarise and send...

I find excessive voice notes really self obsessed...

The only time for me when it's OK when you knkw that person is having a rubbish time and has no time... Pal who's parent was dying on her way home from hosp..

ThisUsernameIsNowTaken · 13/05/2025 04:32

I hate them so much and play them at 2x the speed. Can't wait for WhatsApp to implement a transcript feature that turns them into text. That would be way more useful than their bloody Meta AI thing that they've forced on users.